I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

28 December 2009

Attention Everybody... I Love My Brother Marty

It's been pretty rough for all of us this Christmas season, primarily because our mom has lost her ability to reason because of her dementia.  The shock associated with seeing a parent, especially your mom, become the child you once were, is like no other reality check you will ever experience.

Marty is my younger brother, my buddy when we were kids.  5 years between us, I gladly turned over the slot of "baby of the family" when he was born, thanks Marty. 

The picture shown is with my family taken the day before Marty was born.  My dad took us to the beach so that my mom could walk Marty out of her.  It worked.

Marty was born on April 22, 1965, Earth Day, I was still 4, not quite 5 yet.  I missed my mom.  I was anxious to see my new brother, my new doll.  I remember sitting on my dad's lap bawling my eyes out while dad sat in his brown vinyl recliner, comforting me.  Telling me that Ma would be home soon, that they needed to keep her in the hospital for a few days with Martin, my new brother. 

I cried and cried, I missed my mother.  My dad finally took me to the parking lot of the hospital so that my mom could wave to me through the window.  I needed to see that she was still alive.

The time came and Marty came home with our mom.  He was so darn cute, pudgy little face that I liked to try and make smile at me.  I still remember the first time Marty's little hand grabbed my finger, I think that's when I really began to love my little brother.  I vowed to protect him.

Life went along and Marty started to walk.  I remember the day he took his first step, everyone was cheering and Marty was smiling.  Just a few short steps in our living room, but he did it, he got the courage and stood up and walked!

The Blessed Virgin Mary has always been my favorite Catholic Saint.  I went to St. Mary's School as a child and often during our art sessions, I'd draw Mary. 

One day I left my best Mary picture on the coffee table, in reach of Marty's little hands.  He took my picture and ripped it up.  He didn't know what he was doing.  He laughed and laughed as he tore my Mary picture up.  I still remember not crying or getting mad at him, he was only a baby and tearing the picture was making him laugh.  I loved hearing his little laugh.

We were always together in our early years.  I remember taking him on the bus and going to Boston.  We'd walk around Boston, see parts of the Freedom Trail, check out the gravesite of Mother Goose and pass on the fantasy that the nuns told me just a few years before my visit to the grave with Marty.  I remember nuns telling me once that we could find Mother Goose's grave because it had feathers all over it.  Later I realized that they were pigeon feathers.

Our sister Donna always took Marty and I downtown.  She'd take us bowling at Lucky Strike and on the way home we'd go to Ollie's Pet Store where we talked to the talking Myna bird in the back of the store. 

Marty loved talking to the bird... I loved how the bird talked to Marty, I think the bird liked him. 

Donna, she was a cool sister, she always would let us buy a little green turtle.  I remember them becoming banned, something about salmonella poisoning from the turtles was making kids sick.  I really loved those turtles and missed it when they didn't sell them anymore.

When Marty was 8 and I was 12 going on 13, we had our first nephew.  Oh... I will never forget the day Joe was born.  Marty and I ran up the street to the corner store to tell Margarett and Joe, the corner store owners that we have a nephew.  It was an exciting time for Marty and me, after all, we were an Aunt and Uncle... none of our friends were an Aunt or an Uncle.

Donna got a job and our new little family kid squad was Marty, Joe, Andy.  We were always together, we were close. 

Marty, he has been a really good Uncle from the very first day of Unclehood for him.  Our nephews are more like his little brothers, even to this day. 

Things changed in our family when our dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in January 1979.  He only lived about 7 months with this agressive form of cancer.  I am sad that Marty was only 14 when dad passed away, much too young to be left with no dad. 

Our brother-in-laws stepped up and took Marty fishing, hunting... all sorts of things that dad's would do with their sons.  Brad and Steve did a good job helping Marty to adjust, they were his role models.  Unfortunately though, Marty missed learning from our dad, a man who had wisdom beyond his years. 

Yes, Marty and I fight like brother and sister, we have for a long time.  I even remember getting him into trouble with dad when it was really my fault.  I still feel bad about that time.  I'm really sorry Marty, I was being a jerk.  Kids definitely will be kids. 

I have a lot of memories with my little brother.  Marty and I heard Santa's sleigh bells together on Christmas Eve, our imaginations wild with the ideal of Santa. 

We would play baseball in our tiny backyard and shop the thrift stores downtown for bargains.  To this day, Marty is the best bargain shopper I've ever met.

Marty knows how to peruse all the free lists and find things that any of us need.  All we do is say, "Hey Marty, I need xyz."  Before we know it we have an email with a link where we can pick it up or he shows up at our door with the item.

Marty is also the king of "Marty Makeup Facts."  He is a quick thinker and is so convincing with his Marty Makeup Facts, I can't even count how many times I was fooled.  Marty has a dry sense of humor that I find funny as hell.  Marty knows how to make me laugh really hard (and cry too, this proves he's my brother.)

Marty met Patricia.  They fell in love and got married.  There wedding was a great party.  A quaint wedding in their home, oh so sweet. 

It was quite a wedding.  I love weddings when it's hot and sticky, but as soon as the ceremony is over, on come the swim suits with everyone splashing in the pool. 

Marty is thoughtful.  He has a big heart, a huge heart.  I know he loves his family as much as I do.  I know he does because he is making plans to call and visit our mom. 

Thanks Marty.  I love you so much, you are my brother, the one I vowed to protect in this lifetime. 

I'm so sorry if I'm a royal pain in your ass sometimes, but hey, I'm your sister and I love you.

I love Patricia too, thanks for giving me the sister I have been missing all these years.


  1. That was beautiful....thank you so much, I know Martin loves you so much...and so do I.

  2. Yay! And just as I began to write this note a Hawk flew in circles over the pool as I watched... the hawk is the messenger from beyond this realm.