BREAKING NEWS... We Have New Babies!

The last day and a half has been pretty exciting.  I haven't had time to write a post to explain the fun that we are having.  We're still practicing Success Principle 7 - humor. 

It's fun to laugh.

We had this bright idea to adopt 2 little kittens from the local shelter.  One day last week I was thinking about all the death in this house.   I started to think, hmmmm... maybe if we had young blood in the house it would balance the energy.  Hmmmmmm. 

Having our own children?  No WAY!  We're 50, way too late... Thank God.

Well, we got 2 new kittens.  Oh, they are so cute.  They have balanced the energy in our house, it is exactly what we all needed, especially me.  Nothing like a soft cuddly little kitty.

Tomorrow I'll introduce you to them!

Success Principle Seven of Being a Good Care Giver: Humor

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

Laughter is the best medicine for all things that bring you down.  I've been known for my laughter..my unique laugh, when something hits my funny bone, laughter bellows from the deepest parts of my soul.  I feel the laugh coming, it comes on like a shot and there's no way to hold it in.

In school as a kid, my laugh always got me reprimands.  My laugh was contagious and made others laugh.

Laughing never worked in quiet places like church and the library.  But, I still laughed.  I can remember being a little kid about 7 and I had gone to church with my neighbor friend.  She went to public school, I went to Catholic school, where we went to church.  We sat in the front row (they call them Pews.) 

My friend Doreen Sweeney, she saw that they had stamped the words "Leave in Pew" on the cover of the miselet.  Doreen loved to make me laugh and saw that this would be a "funny time" to make me laugh.  She poked me to get my attention and then pointed to the words on the booklet as she held her fingers to her nose.

I let out such a laugh, it echoed in the church.  I couldn't stop laughing.  I peed my pants.  I left church early.

The next day, I went to school... my catholic school with the nuns and their big long black habits, the principle standing at the door, motioning me to come with her.

Uh oh!

Stupidly, the group of my teachers went to the same Mass and were seated behind me.  Boy, did I get in trouble for laughing in church.  One good thing, the nuns didn't scare me enough to stop me from laughing.

In college my laugh career continued, my laugh followed along, after all, it is part of who I am.  People who were funny sought to be around me, I was great for their humor egos.  I laugh.  I laugh and laugh.  I had lots of fun through out my life because I laugh. 

Once I went to a comedy show up in Maine and the comedian gave me his card, he loved my laugh and wanted me to follow him around to get his audience going.  I was honored but never went to another of his comedy shows.  Actually, I think it was the last one that I had seen!

I did marry a man who could be a comedian, but I'm grateful that he didn't take that path, it's a hard life.  Brian is very funny, he makes me laugh a lot.

People are funny.  Animals are funny, especially my cat.  Sometimes even my mother's Lewy moments are funny, like the morning she woke up thinking that she had died and was in heaven because we have so many bathrooms.  There's even humor in terminal illness... we just need to fire up our funny bones and let out some laughter.

Laughter helps my mom rest.  I do what I can to make her laugh as she's going to sleep.  For some reason she often finds my hypnosis suggestions funny.  They make her laugh so hard that sometimes she has to get up and use the toilet.  My new profession could very well be the laughing hypnotherapist for LBD.

Through out my life, I have laughed.  I honestly believe that I was born laughing. My parents told me often when I was a kid that I was "their sunshine."  Susie Sunshine... that would be me. 

People have told me that my laugh fills a room.  It's my calling card.  People who know me and havent' seen me in decades, will know me because of my laugh. 

Laughter makes you feel good.  Laugh on purpose.  Force yourself to laugh.  Exercise your laugh muscles.  If you are a frowner, go find someone who's funny to hang out with.  Read some funny bloggers.  There are lots of them out there.  I link to some of my favorites on my blog.  I'm always looking for people who can find humor in all things, even Lewy Bodies Dementia.

I'm not talking about laughing to make fun, I'm refering to the laughter that is love.  The burst of energy that comes from your heart and is vocalized through a thunderous sound, a clash of energy that explodes into the ethers, spreading good cheer.

Today, find something to laugh about.  Even the lunacy of hallucinations, look at it from the outside and just laugh.  It will make you feel better and once you laugh, the tension will be lifted and your love one will laugh too.

Bring peace and calm to your Lewy visitor and laugh!

How to Make Flourless Chocolate Cake in a Magic Bullet

Flourless Chocolate Cake

Preheat the oven 375 degrees.

Toast in a dry skillet (cast iron if you have one) 1/4 cup of hazelnuts.  Once they are heated, the skins should come off fairly easily in a kitchen towel.  Cool and chop to use as a topping for the finished cake.

Cake Ingredients

9 - 10 oz. 70% Organic Dark Chocolate
1 stick of unsalted organic butter
1/4 Cup Almond Meal
1/4 Cup Agave Nectar
3 eggs

Melt the Chocolate

• Melt the chocolate in the microwave on low, stiring.  If you have a chocolate melt feature, it works great.  You can always melt it on top of the stove in a double pot.
• Add the butter after the chocolate is hot and melted. 
• Allow the butter to melt and blend with the chocolate.

Mix the Cake

• In the blender attachment of the Magic Bullet add the almond meal and agave nectar. 
• Put the lid on the blender and mix until blended, about 30 seconds. 
• Add the eggs, one at a time, blending each egg before adding the next egg. 
• Add the cooled chocolate and butter mixture slowly to the blender.  You may need to use a rubber spatula to mix the chocolate in the blender because it will get a little thick.

Setting up the cake pans

• Pour each ramakin cup 3/4 full
• If you don't have these cups, be creative with what you have.

While the cake is baking

• Put into the small cup 1/4 cup of heavy cream, 1/8 teaspoon of organic vanilla extract and a 1/4 tsp agava nectar
• Using the 4 blade attachment to the magic bullet, blend the cream mixture until it turns into whipped cream. 

There won't be a lot, you just want to put a dollup ontop of the cooked cake.

The cakes need about 20-25 minutes - it all depends on the size of the baking cups.  You could use tera cota flower pots, they'd make a really cute desert if you want to impress someone.

Once the cakes are cooked, insert a sharp knife around the edge.  Before you try to take the cake out, it should be cooled a bit, but still warm.

Put a dollup of whipped cream and sprinkle some nuts. 

This is one incredible desert that is gluten free and really not too sinful for the most avid dieter.

My Mom and Wii Fit

Wii Fit is a life saver for me.  It allows me to do 5 minutes of exercise through out the day while taking care of my mom.  She loves watching me use it. 

Today, I thought I'd video her using it - here she is, 80 year old Jo who was told by the  machine today that she's got the body of a 41 year old.   It boosted her spirits to be told that her body is 39 years younger, even if it was by a toy.

The stupid toy told me that my body is that of a 58 year old... now that rots, I'm only 49!

Success Principle Six of Being a Good Care Giver: Emotions

Life has ups and downs. Some days care giving for my mom can leave me feeling as though I've got more down days than up ones.  It was during a down time that I knew I needed to do something to save myself from my own destructive thoughts.

I've had times when I have been fearful of the road ahead.  Not knowing what the hell this Lewy Bodies Dementia would bring my way.  I suppose we are fortunate to be care givers for someone with LBD because Lewy has a way of making a Care Giver face fears head on. 

I'd say the biggest fear we all face is death.  It's going to happen to all of us.  Every day we are really one day closer to our death day.  Oh boy, that's enough to send the strongest minded person into a mini-depressed state of mind.

What is it that we fear as Care Givers?  In my opinion, I believe it's facing our own mortality.  Caring for a parent who has a terminal illness, one where there's no cure and the outcome is not good, has left me looking in the mirror.  I ask myself questions like, will it happen to me?  Will LBD affect one of my siblings or my husband?  Can we avoid the trouble now by changing our habits?

I really don't know the answers to these questions but I do know I'll give it a good shot.  I have changed my habits, life habits that were speeding up my aging, rushing me faster toward the end of my life with a similar fate as my mom.

I've seen the destruction of Lewy Bodies Dementia.  I know it is brought on by poor nutrition and blows to the head.  Poor diet.  Out of control blood sugars and blood pressure helps ensure one will lose their minds at some point in time if they survive heart disease.

Looking in the mirror I say to myself, "Self I say, what the hell are you doing?  Do you really want to have Brian looking under the bed for extra wild animals or a strange man that only exists in my mind?

NO WAY!

I have decided not to fail myself.  I have taken action.  I have taken control of ME.  I am grabbing fear and turning it into a positive, I will succeed as a care giver, even if the outcome for my mom is death.  There's no growing, there's nothing new, just decline... but we can succeed with Lewy by making changes to how I chose to react to the fear of the unknown.  Will it ever end?

Fear of failure is an opportunity to succeed. 

Focusing on my own self, I know that I am the only one that I can control.  I control everything about myself.  The way I chose to think, the dreams I have, all of these thoughts are mine and I control them. 

Overcoming obstacles and controling one’s emotions when care giving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia can be difficult. What I am discovering by practicing business success principles with care giving is that I'm able to control myself better. 

“When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions...”


W. Clement Stone


1902-, American Businessman, Author

There are people who come into our lives who are negative and can easily bring us down. These individuals are dangerous to our success as Care Givers.  They often are fearful themselves and unintentionally share their fear with you bringing on self-doubt. Conversely, the people we are caring for can easily bring us down too, the only difference with our loved one is that we are the one who created the negativity in the first place with our negative attitude or behavior.  Remember, LBD folks feel energy, you don't even have to speak.

Do all that you can to avoid being with negative thinkers, people who criticize your plan and your dream.  As Care Givers we all have dreams of helping our loved one pass over more comfortably.  I know it's true for me anyway, my personal goal and dream is to help my mom have more good days than bad ones, keeping the hallucinations at bay long enough for her to still enjoy the sparks of life that she still has left.

The critics in your life will resurrect your greatest fears. Fear is an internal defense mechanism that turns itself on when it is forced to cross into unknown waters. The fear of failure is the obstacle that hits us when we are nearing our success. Our thoughts start to race and we begin to doubt ourselves. We start to say to ourselves “What if …” as though some part of us is trying to defend fear and convince us to quit.

The best way to over come fear is to face it. If you have a phone call you’ve been putting off for quite some time, pick up the phone right now and make that call. Face whatever fear is causing you to procrastinate. The feeling of liberation after you have done a task that you really didn’t want to do is quite magnificent.

An aide to overcome anxieties of completing uncomfortable tasks is to breath while you allow yourself to relax. When we face our fears with calm, relaxed and calculated actions, we are more likely to move through the difficulty unscathed.

Breathing Exercise to Relax

While sitting straight up in a chair with your arms and legs uncrossed, or lying down with your arms and legs uncrossed, close your eyes and get comfortable.

Begin to slowly take deep breaths through your parted lips. Hold the breath as you visualize yourself in your movie. See yourself achieving your persoanl and care giving goals. Slowly breathe the air out as you feel yourself become more relaxed. Continue breathing like this for several minutes. Experience your relaxed state of consciousness. Feel the life inside you and believe in your greatness.

Each time you begin to feel overwhelmed with the events that are occurring in your life. Stop. Breath. Relax. Remember who you are. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you on your journey. Surround yourself with mentors, people that you wish to model your own life after. A Success Coach (also called Life Coach) is a type of mentor that many people turn to for support. These individuals help their clients to remain focused and give them the support and encouragement to keep going and not quit.

Together they work through the roadblock, creating solutions to counteract the problems that you appear to face.

Believe it or not, even a coach needs a coach to help stay on track. Human nature is what causes people to forget, we all need reminders.  I may not be telling some of you anything new. Please take these words as a reminder to remember what you know and continue to apply it to your life.

Through the effort of working on ourselves and becoming the best that we can be, we are ultimately helping to change the world into a happier place, one person at a time. It all begins with YOU!

“Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he


who forces his actions to control his thoughts.”


Og Mandino

How's Care giving working for you?

It's been about a week now since I had the idea to approach Care Giving as I would any business venture. As a result, my life is much better.  I feel more relaxed and calm.  I'm happier.  Deep inside happier.  God, I haven't felt this good in a long time. 

I've been practicing what I've been writing for blog post to help the Care Giver.  It's helping me a lot.  My mom, she's doing better, WAY better.  She's had a couple of rough days but they are what her good days used to be like.  I am not bothered by the people and talking stuffed animals or rolladex thingies that are faces.  The lunacy, well, it's there but I don't care.  I am calm.  I love the strong being that I am.  Yay... I'm here!

In the past, I'd be a freakin' basket case trying to tell my mom that the people and things don't exist.  Now, fuck it.  I don't care.  Instead, I took the rolladex with the imaginary face and hid it in her closet.  Not like she's calling anyone.  The talking stuffed animal cat?  She seemed to like it so I made sure she could see it from her chair.  The puffy maroon lap blanket?  Oh, that turned into my dead brother Ed.  She loved his visit so I left it.

My mom, she's happy.  She was in her Oakey Doakey state of mind tonight.  When I was tucking her in, she turned so that I could rub her back.  My perfect opportunity to make some positive suggestions.  I forget what I said but she started laughing and told me that I'm funny.  Tonight, I expect a good sleep for all of us, especially my mom.

I'm realizing that by focusing on myself, the Care Giver... taking my mind off my mom, every one is happier.  Me, my mom, my husband, my mother in law... everyone, even the cat!  It's so simple.  We the care giver hold the power to change it all through our minds, our thoughts.  Really, it's that easy.

I'm only on the 5th lesson of Success for a Caregiver and already I'm seeing the magic unfold.  What amazes me is I know this stuff, inside and out.  I am helping myself as I write to my readers.  What a bonus!

We have the power within us to manifest and create anything that our hearts desire. 

My personal goal is to help my mom have way more good days than bad and any bad days are like her old good days.  So far, so good.

For me, it's working out wicked good... how's it working for you?

How to Make Roast Pork Wraps with Au Jus

Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of this latest creation. 

Here's the recipe:

Herbs Provence (Seasoning for the roast)

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons dried savory
• 2 tablespoons dried rosemary
• 2 tablespoons dried thyme
• 2 tablespoons dried oregano
• 2 tablespoons dried basil
• 2 tablespoons dried marjoram
• 2 tablespoons dried fennel seed

Directions

In a small mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients together. Store in an air-tight container.

 

Roast Pork

Ingredients

•  4-5 lb Fresh Pork Shoulder with the bone removed and the shoulder tied
• 3 Tablespoons of Dijon Mustard
• 6 cloves of garlic finely chopped
• 2-3 Tablespoons of Herbs Provence (see above)

Instructions

Rub the roast with the dijon mustard
Rub the roast with the chopped garlic
Rub on the Herbs Provence

Put the roast into a glass baking dish with a cover (or use foil to cover).  Bake on 350 degree oven until the internal temperature reaches 165 - 170.

Let the meat rest before slicing.

Save the pan drippings and put them into a covered container.  Place the container with the drippings into the fridge.

When the drippings are chilled, the pork fat will rise to the top.  Skim the fat and discard.

How to Make the Pork Au Jus

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 small shallot diced finely
• 8 oz. of organic chicken broth
• Chilled pan drippings

Instructions

 In a small skillet, on medium heat, heat the oil until it shimmers.  Add the diced shallots and let them cook for about 1-2 minutes.  Add the chilled pan drippings and stir around until it is liquid.  Add the chicken broth and turn up the heat to high.  Bring the mixture to a rolling boil.  Reduce the heat and simmer for about 5 minutes.

Typically, the above recipe would be dinner.  With the left over pork, I make Roast Pork Wraps for lunch the following day.

How to Make Roast Pork Wraps

Ingredients for 1 wrap

• 1 Lavash bread wrap
• Organic Mayonnaise (about 1 teaspoon)
• 1 Teaspoon Horseradish mustard
• 10 leaves of fresh cilantro
• thinly sliced roasted pork from the recipe above
• fresh sliced Australian Cheddar Cheese
• thinly sliced tomato - deseeded
• Red leaf lettuce (one leaf)
• thinly sliced red onion (about 2 thin slices separated)

On the lavash bread, make layers with the ingredients, starting with the meat across the top.  Add the mayo and horseradish mustard and mix together at the base of where the meat had been placed.  Add the cheese so that it is one layer, add tomato, onion, lettuce and then put about 10 or more leaves of fresh cilantro over the final layer.

Gently fold over the layers and roll the wrap into a tube shape.

Warm the Au Jus and use it as a dipping sauce.

Success Principle Five of Being a Good Care Giver: Time Management

Care giving and Time Management? 

I can hear the Care Givers moaning at the sight of these words.

I'm not crazy nor am I demented!  Seriously, I'm not nuts, Time Management when applied to Care Giving helps to relieve YOUR stress as a Care Giver.  It is helping me to be a better Care Giver because I'm scheduling ME time.

Why is managing one's time so important?  Time Management provides an opportunity to take care of things that are important to you while you are providing care to someone who depends on you.  We all benefit when we have a sense of accomplishment.  It's important to feel like you've finished something, it is great for ones soul. 

So, how does one apply Time Management to Care Giving?

First, make a plan that has dates which you have created for yourself and keep them.

Live each day as if it were your last, make it count. Don’t waste any time, once your time has been spent, there’s no getting it back. Make “time” work in your favor by sticking to your plan and taking on one task at a time.

“I am definitely going to take a course on time management... just as soon as I can work it into my schedule.”


Louis E. Boone


American Author

A secret to achieving goals is to create projects out of your tasks. Instead of calling each task of Care Giving a job, which doesn’t appear to have an ending, look at each tasks as a complete project. By doing this, you will begin to feel that you are accomplishing something and not just doing a thankless job.

Finishing a project does wonders not only for your self-esteem, but it also gives you a tool to measure your future Care Giving projects and create time lines for completion.

You are also getting yourself into a good habit (Success Principle 1) for the time when your care giving duties have come to an end.  Practicing success principles, will help you open new doors when you are ready for the next phase of your life.

We always have so many things to do during any given day. A tried and true known fact is, those who make lists, prioritize the items on the list and then take action (Success Principle 9), complete more work in less time.

Creating a plan for yourself every day, you are able to see what needs to be done. This is also a good exercise in training your brain to focus. By focusing on your individual projects, breaking them down into manageable pieces, it will eventually lead you to your goal, you are reinforcing your dream(s.) 

Plans bring order. 

Caring for a loved one with Lewy Bodies Dementia requires calm, peace, order.  My mom, the woman who was not a very good house keeper, maybe because she had so many kids, now gets aggitated if I leave dishes in the sink over night. 

To avoid the upset, I have a Project Plan that I created to help me provide better care to my mom.  I plan time for my mom and I make sure I make time for me. 

Exercise is important to me, I know it helps me to manage my stress levels, which makes me a better Care Giver.

Writing is another piece of my Care Giving Project Plan.  It's my personal outlet for seeing what I could be doing right or wrong as a Care Giver.  Writing is therapy for me.  I thank all my readers for being my internet therapists, just reading my words helps me.  So, thank you readers!

Meditation is also important to me.  It allows me to find peace inside.  Even 5 minutes of a quiet meditation is enough to restore my calm during the roughest Lewy storm. 

Breath.  Take time to breath.  Deep breaths, slow deep breaths, makes one more relaxed and calm. 

Care Giving requires calm. 

It's not always easy to be calm or switch it on and off.  But as Care Givers, we can train ourselves to do it.  5 minutes a day is all it takes.  Schedule the time with yourself and then keep the date.  It will help you to help yourself to feel good.

Success Principle Four of Being a Good Care Giver: Self-Esteem

I am the world's greatest miracle!

Lewy Bodies Dementia has a way of sucking a care giver's self-esteem right out from under our nose.

Even the most astute student of all things mind, body and spirit can become a victim to the loss of self-esteem, it has a way of sneaking up on us and before we know it, we are left with unkept hair, a new muffin top rolling over our favorite jeans, (the only ones that didn't seem to shrink - Thank God for spandex) and worst of all, a broken spirit.

How does this happen to really good people?  How does it happen to anyone?

From experience, I know that it's easy to put your own needs on the back burner while helping someone else.  Care givers are notorious for being good givers and lousy receivers.

We absolutely need a balance between give and take.  The Universal Law of Giving and Receiving makes sure that the law of balance is maintained.  Too much giving or too much receiving causes an imbalance, the flow of energy begins to stagnate and your life seems to take on a whole new meaning for the word suck.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is simple.  Give with no expectation of receiving in return.  Give from your heart, as care givers do every day.  Give love and you get love.  Give compassion and you get compassion.  Give money and you get money.  However, the catch is to just do it with out expecting anything in return.  What ends up happening is the flow begins, you give and you receive. 

Be open to the gifts, be grateful.  Be grateful for the sunny day or that the person in your care had a good rest.  I find when I'm grateful for my mom getting a good night sleep, I get one in return.  It's almost magical.

Low self-esteem comes on gradually, we don't even see it coming until we are a blubbering pool of tears, sobbing at our own self-made pity party. 

When I give out sadness the Universe does it's thing by rewarding me with more sadness.  After all, it appears to be what I want because that's what I'm GIVING (see how it works?)

I hate feeling this way, I know that I shouldn't.  I know that when I am feeling down, it's way harder to be an effective care giver, a good care giver. 

Looking at our glass as half empty we begin to resent people around us and in our families.  We perceive all sorts of false notions which feeds our ever sinking feeling, propelling us further down into our self made abys of despair.

Emotionally we find ourselves not able to handle the selfless act of care giving and we begin to feel worse.  We can't handle the pressure of care giving.  We find ourselves saying, "Hey, what about me?"  We blame every one around us for the so called "shitty hand" we were dealt.

“Yes, there are times when something is legitimately not our fault. Blaming others, however, keeps us in a stuck state and is ultimately rough on our own self-esteem.”

Eric Allenbaugh


American Author of ''Wake-Up Calls''

I could go on and on.  Only because I've lived this experience first hand.  I know that it's counter productive to all the good that I do when I switch my focus to things that I have no control.

The only person any of us can control is ourselves.  When we focus our attention on what we can do about ourselves, what we can do to bring ourselves happiness and then do it... the world begins to walk in step with us.  Even Lewy plays along better because our emotions are not frazzled.  Care giving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia requires calm emotions.

Personally, I've made a decision to stop the spiral downward.  The crying.  The sadness.  All of my sad emotions were adding fuel to create an existence that I did not want any part.

So, I changed.  I chose to be happy. 

It's easy to say, chose to be happy, chose to take care of yourself, but you can do it.

Change your mind.  Change how you approach a problem or a situation and everything in your life will change.

Exercising is a great way to boost your self esteem.  Stop eating processed foods.  Cut out white flour... baked goods, don't eat them. 

Feed your body with healthy greens, spices and herbs.

Find an activity that you can do for yourself, something that makes you feel good. 

For me, I love using Wii Fit.  The yoga is awesome.  I love running in place with my Mini-Mi.  My attitude is better, I can think more clearly and the little shit doesn't bother me, not as much anyway.

I've noticed that when I have a good attitude about life, my mom has better days and nights.  It ends the insanity, the sleepless nights, the looking under the bed for extra cats or in the closet for the "hidden" stair case that leads to nowhere special.

Taking time for oneself is more important than anything we can do because if we are sick or worse, dead, how can we continue on with our good work and example for future generations?

Feed your soul.  Read a book.  Write a blog.  Paint a picture.  Cook a fine meal.  Go for a walk.  Just do something for yourself at least once a day.  Even 5 minutes of you time will do wonders for your spirit and will move you one step closer to boosting your self-esteem.

Remember, you are your greatest miracle, you hold the power to transform your life all by changing your mind about how you think about your current situation.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you!

How to Use Hypnosis with Lewy Bodies

The mind, the most suggestible organisms on the planet.  That's my opinion.

I've come to this conclusion based on my experiences with my mom who has Lewy Bodies dementia and her receptivity to the hypnosis sessions that I give her at bed time.

What I have observed is that the nights I give my mom hypnosis in conjunction with Reiki, she sleeps through the night and her following day is happy.

Tonight my mom got a hypnosis session.

I told my mom that she is safe. 

Susie will take care of everything, let all worries go they are not important.

I then told her that Brian is taking care of Susie ...

Relax. 

Let go. 

Tomorrow will be a great day.  You will wake up feeling fully refreshed and rested. 

Relax.

You are safe and sound.

(I stroke her head and gently push her hair behind her ears, just as she did to me when I was little and what her mom did to her when she was a kid.)

Relax.

My mom lets out a few sighs, showing me that she's letting it all go.  She was relaxing.  She felt safe and sound.

Next...

A soft purrrr of a snore, my little Jo was off in dream land, hopefully dreaming of kittens or something really pleasant.

Success Principle Three of Being a Good Care Giver: Persistence

Care giving for someone with a terminal illness can often leave the care giver feeling like they want to run for the hills.

At one time or another, all of us have dreampt (or will dream) of different ways to escape, it's human nature.  We fantasize about a one way plane ticket or a drive to nowhere, just as long as it's far, far, away from the insanity that has become your life with the arrival of Lewy. 

I'm personally living with my mom who has Lewy Bodies Dementia, an illness that I see as one of the mind and spirit.

What I have learned through out life is that we can always run from our perils, but we can never hide.  It took me years before I realized that I create all the peril in my own mind. 

I hold the key to free myself from guilt, shame or any other really nasty vibe that can bring me down. 

Realizing this simple belief that I have always cherished and applying it to my duties as a care giver, my care giving got easier. 

Even the crazy days, the bad days that come with the Lewy Bodies Dementia, even those insane days are easier. 

I am chosing how I wish to react and feel.  Only I can shift how I think about care giving, no one can do it for me.

It's really all about love, everything that a care giver does, comes from the heart.  It's an honorable act being a care giver to someone who's only real outcome is a ride in a hurse or resting on a mantle in a fancy jar.

I'm finding that when I approach caregiving from an angle of, "how can I be a successful care giver?" my life feels lighter, I feel free even though nothing has really changed except one thing, my mind. 

I have freed myself of burdens through love and how I chose to perceive the blessing of being able to care for my mom.  I'm learning from her still, even now in her 80th year she is teaching me more about love than I ever thought possible.

The result, it's a happier life for me and everyone who lives with my mom.

It does take persistence though, the 3rd principle of becoming successful with anything. 

I am very persistent when it comes to my mom's illness and with believing in the power I hold with in myself. 

I believe that we can stop the progression of Lewy Bodies.  I have believed this from the beginning, even though everything that I read states the opposite, that there's no cure and the prognosis of a peaceful death for my mom are slim.

But... I refuse to believe it. 

I believe in miracles. 

I believe in the miracle that is me who has the ability to move mountains and solve any problem that is presented in my path. 

Persistence is the fertilizer for my soul to keep on keeping on.

“Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.”



Dennis Waitley

1933-, American Author, Speaker, Trainer, Peak Performance Expert

Care givers that are persistent win.  

We win the big prize, the unspoken prize that only the care giver knows and understands.  It's a prize which we can't describe in words.  We gain so much as care givers.  Is it peace of mind, knowing that we did all that we could?

I don't know for sure, I haven't gotten to the end of my journey with my mom yet.  I do know that there's no better reward for me than when she wakes up from a great night sleep, ready for a good day.

I'm honored to have been given the opportunity to chose this path, it is not always easy but it can get easier. 

I have discovered that care giving for the love of it, especially for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia can make the difference between a good day or a bad day. 

Good days and bad days really begins with us, the care giver.  Our emotions have a powerful affect that can be felt through space and time.  It's all about us as care givers and how we chose to approach our love for the person.

This week I began following a blogger who's writing makes me laugh.  I find laughter to be so important for good health, especially when care giving to a crazy person.

Yesterday, I read Josh's blog post and it was a video.  I rarely watch videos on blogs because I usually leave the sound turned off so that I don't wake anyone in the house, especially at 3am.  This video post, I needed to watch, I felt compelled to watch.

You see, Josh, the World's Strongest Librarian, has Tourette's and he's a librarian! 

His message is on point with the topic of my blog post today, persistence.  Never giving up on yourself.  The power to achieve anything, even respite in your own mind, is possible when you persist. 

Visit Josh's blog and watch his video, it's heart opening. 

Persistence allows people to accomplish and achieve greatness in their short lives on Earth. 

Random Act of Kindness: Take Uncle Al Out

Today we went and picked up Uncle Al with the intention of taking him out for a ride to Revere Beach, his favorite place from his younger days. 

When I got to the nursing home his nurse told me that he wouldn't eat his lunch.  He was waiting for me to bring him lunch. 

So... we took a detour to Kelly's Roast Beef where Uncle Al got his favorite, fried clams.  He ate as though he hadn't eaten in decades.

My mom, she ordered a salad.  I totally forgot to look at the salad before she started to eat it.  It had croutons in it.  Shit!  She started to see people and things, she was demented.  Uncle Al was demented.

I found myself  driving through the streets of Revere today, my mom in the backseat and Uncle Al in front, both were talking as though someone was listening.  Neither heard the other person talking, I heard both conversations and both of them expected me to be listening to them.

Result?  I'm totally exhausted.  My head hurts.

My mom pointed out all the apartments that they lived in after their dad died and their mom was admitted to a mental institution.  I don't know if they really lived in all those places or if they thought each place that they pointed at was the place from their childhood?  I'll never know for sure.

We drove along the beach.  I had intended on getting both of them out to walk a little.  But, as soon as I mentioned walking my mom suddenly had a pain in her fanny.  When she stated where her pain was I couldn't help myself and said, "And her name is Susie?" 

We both laughed.  Uncle Al came to and wondered what he had missed.  Not for long though, as soon as he saw the ocean all thoughts about why we were laughing vanished.

We drove up the coast, back to Uncle Al's nursing home.  We took the scenic route through Nahant to get to Danvers.  Anyone who knows where Nahant is, you definitely can't get to Danvers via Nahant... Nahant is a peninsula, one of the coolest communities that I had ever lived.

Uncle Al and my mom enjoyed the ride today.  The sun was bright and the temperature wasn't all that cold for a November day in New England. 

I gave my mom 4 pellets of Helleborous Niger when we got home and a cup of nettle tea with a little fenugreek.  I believe we nipped the hallucinations in the bud, I hope we did.  We'll know tonight when the house is quiet and the floors start squeaking if my mom needs more helleborous.

In the meantime, today my random act of kidness was toward my Uncle Al.  Even though I have so much to do for myself, I put it all aside and gave my time to Uncle Al. 

He enjoyed himself and is looking forward to Thanksgiving Dinner with his family. 

Success Principle Two of Being a Good Care Giver: The Power of Love

We've all heard that Love makes the world go 'round.  Songs have been written and sung about love for as long as history has been recorded. 

Being in love... nothing is better.  The feelings, the emotions... we feel invincible, everything is going your way.  Life is grand.

Think about those feelings, re-live the love vibe, the feeling you had when you first met your significant other, the moment you first laid eyes on your brand new baby.  These are the time when our souls are the most pure, stripped of the facades and the veils, we are at this point in time, being real.

Love allows us to be real with ourselves and in turn, with others.

Caregiving, it's a form of love, it's love in motion. 

Actions always speak louder than any words that are spoken.  Care giving allows one human to give love to another through our doing.  I'm not refering to sex, I'm talking about a deep love that is born through our actions. 

Talk is cheap. 

Care givers know this better than anyone.  The longer we are care givers, the more we understand the hollow words that are offered to us out of some sort of love.  Everything boils down to love of some kind.

Love of self.  Love of someone else.  Love has many forms and faces. 

It's up to us.  Love begins with each of us, each individual on the planet has a responsibility to love because after all, love makes the world go 'round.

How are you going to love today?  How are you going to be more kind to yourself? 

I've discovered that the kinder I am to myself, I am more kind to others. 

Taking time to love is not difficult, especially when you use the first success principle, getting into good habits.

Why not share a smile with a stranger?  Or pay someone's toll on the highway? 

Random acts of kindness is a way to share love, to let someone know that you care, even if you don't know them. 

We are all connected. 

We're all children of the Earth, young and old, all of us and we all respond well to love. 

My mom with Lewy Bodies Dementia has taught me that emotions, feelings and love can and does create miracles. 

Open your eyes and feel the power of love around you, it is great medicine for all that ails you.