Warm Kale and Strawberry Salad

Warm Kale and Strawberry Salad

Today, I decided to look through the fridge and create something healthy for lunch.

I had a bunch of Kale that needed to be cooked.

Yesterday, I bought strawberries.

1. Wash and cut the Kale crosswise, starting at the top and working my way to the bottom coarse end.  I discarded the bottom stems.
2. Add a little Sea Salt to the cut Kale and tossed it in a big bowl.
3. Wash the strawberries (about 3-4 strawberries per dish) and cut them in half lengthwise.
4. Chop fine 3 cloves of garlic.
5. Put 1 tablespoon of good quality olive oil in the bottom of a big sauce pan and heat the oil on medium heat.  
6. Add the garlic when the oil is hot, stir it around quickly and then add the chopped Kale.  
7. Mix it around, cooking the kale so that the leaves are soft; about 5 minutes.
8. Remove from the heat and put the Kale into a salad bowl.  Top with a little Sea Salt and Strawberries.

Mmmmmm.

A blast of feta cheese or goat cheese would really spice this up.  Next time, I will try it with cheese.

The Hardest Part About Visiting the Nursing Home

Mom and Bob, August 2011

I've spent countless hours at the nursing home, doing my best to help ease my mom's transition from living with me to living in a facility.  I have made friends with many of the residents.  I believed most would live longer than my mother; shocked to find that death took them sooner and without warning.

We never know when death will come, but it is a certainty of life; just like taxes.  

Ruthie, Harvey and soon to add to the list of those who went "home", Bob.  

Of all the friends that I have made, it's difficult seeing Bob enter into the dying phase of his illness.  He's hot, appears to have difficulty breathing and is hallucinating a lot more than he had been.

"Ellen! Ellen!  Ellen!"  Bob screamed when he heard my voice yesterday afternoon.  Bob believes that I am Ellen, his Caregiver from home before he was placed in a facility.

"Bob.  Are you OK?  Can I help you?"  I asked as I entered his room.

"No.  I need you. Come here."  Bob answered as he mumbled something while pointing to the ceiling across the room. 

"Do you see it?"  Bob yelled at me.  I tried all the techniques I knew.

"Hmmm, I am not sure.  Can you give me some advice?"  I asked in a calm tone.  

"Do you see it?!"  He repeated with more expression.

"Come on.  .... Ice cream.... " He tried to add in order for me to understand.

"Do you want some ice cream?"  I asked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Aww, come on!  You can't be that stupid, can you?!"  Bob was frustrated.  

No words I said could calm him.  Instead of talking, I sat next to his bed, held his hand and prayed to Mother Mary to ease my friends pain.

Bob is dying.  I can see it in his eyes.  I remember seeing this look on my father's face when he laid in a hospital bed dying of cancer over 30 years ago.  Like my dad, Bob doesn't like to be alone; who would when they are dying?  

All we can do at this point is hold Bob's hand, let him know that he's not alone and keep him comfortable while he waits for "Heaven's Bus" to come and pick him up.

I will miss Bob.  I will miss seeing him smile when he holds one of Mom's babies.  I will miss answering his hallucinations; weaving a story to ease his agitation.  

I will NOT miss seeing Bob suffer.  

The hardest part about visiting the nursing home is learning that one of my friends has died or is standing on death's door.

Letters To My Family

I've been sorting and organizing all of my mom's papers; files that date back as far as 1958 when my parents bought their home.

Today, I found an envelope in my mom's hand writing dated February 25, 2003.  Inside were letters that my mom wrote to me, my siblings, my Aunt Jay, her brother and sister (now deceased) and my two oldest nephews.

Hands shaking, I opened the envelope.

Feb 25, 2003  - 3AM

To Susan,

I just had a dream Eddie came to me.  He looked angry and was pointing to me.  It woke me up.  I think he meant for me to take better care of myself.

Just in case, I want you to find who my beneficiary is on my SBLI and change it to you.  Also, my bank book at BCU.  And change name on my car to yours.

I don't want to be a burden to you.  I know you can make it on your own.

Love Always,

Ma

++++++++

To Donna,  2/25/3

Help Susan as much as you can.  I know your the strongest.  Pray for me.

Take care of Amy and Scott.  I love them both and they will make you proud.

Make sure Brad takes better care of himself.

Love you all,

Ma

+++++++

To Marty, 2/25/3

Take care of Eileen and Mother.  Don't forget yourself also.  Health is very important.  I hope you will always be happy.  I think of you often and pray for you.

Help Susan if she needs you.

Love and kisses,

Your Mom.

+++++++

To Ann and Steve,

Wish I could of seen you both.  I'm not well and I don't want you to worry.

See if you can get to see John Edward and I'll be able to send you a message from the other side.

Love you both and I know I can count on you to help Susan through this ordeal.

Love forever,

Ma

++++++

To Jay,

Thank you for all your prayers through the years.  Sorry I won;t be able to take you out.  I know you will be OK.  You've always been their for me and I want you to know how I appreciate you.  God will listen to you so ask him and He will help you.

You have made it possible for me to come this far by your prayers.

Love
Your Sister in Law,
Friend,
Chum,
Bingo Partner

++++++

To Joe and Andy, 2/25/3

Haven't got to see you much lately and I want you both to know how proud I am of the both of you.

Time is precious so don't waste it.  Take care of your health, it is most important.  Get to see your mother as often as you can.

Joe take care of Melinda, she is a wonderful girl.

Andy I will be watching your progress from above.

Love you all,

Gram

++++++

To Flo and Al,   2/25/3

Sorry I was unable to see you.  If I get past this feeling, I'll come to see you both.  I wish I was able to see you more often.  I will pray for you.  Don't be sad.  I will be with my family who has crossed over already.

Take care of yourself and keep in better shape than I did.

Love you both,

Your sister Jo.

(**  Flo passed in 2006, Al passed in 2011 - neither got to see this note.)

++++++

2/25/3

To Whom it may concern,

If I forgot to say bye to someone I'm sorry.  My memory is slowly dying.

I give Susan all my assets if I have any left, and don't forget my Walmart Stock.

I give Susan the right to turn off any life support system if I have any.

Thank you

(signed her name)

+++++++++++

Today, mom is still alive in a nursing home.  She has declined a lot since 2003 when she wrote these notes to all of us.

Finding these letters were bitter sweet.

Seeing my mom's handwriting, so pretty and neat made me miss the days when we could carry a meaningful conversation.  I miss my mom's advice.  I miss her telling me that everything is going to be OK.

My mom, she has always loved her family and we will always love her!

Why The New England Patriots Won Tonight

Mary in the garden, 2011

My mom, she love the New England Patriots; they won a lot, she loves winning.  She would be giddy while watching them play when she was of sound mind.

Today, she isn't mentally capable to enjoy her favorite sport, American Football.

I'm not a big football fan.  I can take it or leave it.  I don't hate it.  If I had the choice to watch an episode of "Chopped" or football, I'd choose "Chopped."

I visited my mom today.  I restocked all her favorite treats and drinks.  We went for a walk.  She talked to her baby and it made my heart smile.

My visit with mom was pleasant.  When I was leaving, I told her I was off to work at the phone company.

"Ok, Dear.  What time will you be home?"  She asked.  A question she always asked me back when I did work as an Operator.  Mom remembers me working all night as an Operator.

"I'll be home on Tuesday at 10:30 in the morning."  I answered.

"Ok.  That's good.  But why so long?"  She replied

"Ma!  You saw the snow.  There are lots of emergencies."  I answered as though it was 1983 when I did work as a telephone operator for the phone company.

"Ok.  Bring me cookies.  I like those cookies you make."  She said with a sweet tone in her voice.

I love it when my mother shows herself.

My drive home was uneventful.

I arrived home.

My husband was watching the game.  The Patriots were fighting for a chance for a spot in the Super Bowl 2012.  The Ravens were fighting for the win.  I believed they were going to take it.  We needed a Hail Mary.

It was the end of the 3rd quarter when I sat down with a glass of wine.

The Pats were winning.

The Pats were losing.

Fumbles.

Turnovers.

Interceptions.

"OH SHIT!"

I started to feel my heart racing.

The Pats MUST WIN!

Tonight, I am the reason the Pats won.

I used a Hail Mary.

You are welcome, New England Patriots.  I saw the look of aww on your faces.

The Baltimore Ravens were giving the Pats a run for their money.

I prayed out loud.  I didn't care that my husband was sitting next to me, looking at me like I was a loon.  I apologized to Mary for using her for such a frivolous request, but this needed to be an exception.

I prayed with my heart and soul.

"Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the lord is with you.  Blessed art though, among women, and blessed is the fruit  of thy womb, Jesus.  Holy Mary Mother of God, Pray for our sins, now and at the hour of our death.  Amen."

"Mary, I am sorry I am pray for a miracle to win this football game, but please make him miss that field goal!"

Voila!

The rookie  for the Ravens seemed to magically choke.  He missed the field goal!  I saw the faces on the team that believed that they had already won.   A punt that should not have been missed... did Mary goose him?  Hmmmm.  Yay, Mary!

It was over.

The Patriots won!

Thank you Mary.

And that is why the New England Patriots won tonight.

Homeopathics: Agitation, Insomnia and LBD

Homeopathic Medicine helps give my mom more good days than not so good ones

The nurses who care for my mom have been asking me to write a post about homeopathic medicine; they see how well the remedies work on my mom when she's agitated or having a bout of insomnia.

Homeopathics have been around for 200 years; it's a "whole medical system" approach unlike the traditional allotropic medicines.

 "Like treats like."   

Homeopathy was discovered by a German doctor who recognized the principle of similar, where "like treats like."  The principle states that a disease can be treated by a similar substance that causes the symptoms in healthy people.

For example:  To treat daytime agitation, my mom takes the homeopathic remedy, Hyoscyamus Niger; Henbane.

If a healthy person ate some of the raw henbane plant, they would become agitated and hallucinate scary scenes that seem real.  My mom has these behaviors without eating the raw plant.  Giving her a small dose of homeopathic medicine, her symptoms go away.

Our Naturopath Doctor recommended Hyoscyamus for my mom because of her natural disposition; she has a sense of humor.  Hyoscyamus Niger 12 C does the trick to ease mom's agitation and fidgeting.

There are over 2000 homeopathic remedies to choose from; it's the reason why I recommend finding a Naturopath Doctor who can help navigate which to use.  If the remedy doesn't work, it isn't the right remedy for the patient.  Remedies are selected using the whole person; mind, body and spirit.

You can find your own remedies here using an online remedy finder.

Homeopathy is FDA approved, it has been for over 100 years.  It is safe, effective and has no contraindications with anything.

Mom suffers from insomnia, a symptom of her illness, Lewy Bodies Dementia.  Stramonium, also a member of the deadly night shade family of plants, solves my mom's problem with insomnia.  Our ND selected this remedy because my mom would jump out of bed worrying about children.  She would lunge forward in her chair and become super agitated.

Stramonium calms my mom and helps her to sleep.

When my mom sleeps at night, the following day is a good day where she's calm and happy.

If my mom eats the wrong food, like wheat gluten or white potatoes, she will become super agitated and begin trying to jump out of her chair or grab for things in the air.  A little dose of Stramonium calms her and seems to counter the effect of the wrong food that she ingested.

Homeopathy, it works.  It triggers a response in the body so that ones system can take over and heal itself.

Remedies are diluted forms of the plant.  The higher the number, which is symbolized in Roman Numerals (C, X, M), the weaker the dose and the stronger the medicine.

There are remedies for everything that ails the human body; medicines which can be tailored specifically to an individual while taking into consideration the whole person... mind, body and spirit.

More information about homeopathy can be found here:

Good explanation of homeopathy:  http://nccam.nih.gov/health/homeopathy/
My favorite homeopathy site:  http://www.abchomeopathy.com/

Everyday Is A Good Day

Mom, her "car" and her babies
January 14, 2012

"Okay, Dear."  Mom sang to me in her happy voice yesterday when I was leaving the home.  She was holding her babies; we had just gone for a long walk which always tires her out.

Mom's doing awesome.  I expect that she'll be discharged from Hospice soon.  Everyday is a good day for her; she feels safe and secure.  She has her babies, a car and her life is complete.  My dream for her has come true.

The scoot chair that mom sits in when she's not resting in bed, has become a car in mom's mind.  She "drives" it up and down the halls, self propelling herself as she patrols and makes sure everyone is safe.   I am grateful that the facility set mom up in the scoot chair, the Hospice chair was not as comfortable and seemed to trigger agitation.

I visited the home yesterday.  I had not been to the facility since Saturday.  Mom didn't miss me.  She barely stayed with me, she was on patrol.  I hung her cloths, cleaned up her closet and dresser drawers and talked to other residents who were happy to visit with me.

"Oh... it's you... Come here!"  One of my resident friends said as she smiled and waved to me.  "I need to use the bathroom!"  I rushed her down the hall to her Care Aide.  I ask my mom this question so much that all the residents associate me with the toilet.   Great.

At one point during my visit, I was chasing my mom down the hall.

"Jo!  Come here, I have a cup of coffee for you."  I called to her.  I had just made her a cup of coffee using her Keurig one cup coffee maker.  Mom ignored me and drove herself into the dinning room.

"Forget about Jo!  I want you to stay with me.  I need you over here!"  Mom's roommate answered back.

Difficult not to laugh out loud, I answered Mom's roommate.  "But you look so good!"  I attempted to change the subject,  It didn't work.

"I know it.... but that still doesn't do me any good."  Another answer that made me want to buckle over in a fit of laughter; I didn't.  

I'm enjoying time with my mom and the folks at the home where she lives.  The nurses who care for my mom have become my friends.  I trust a few more than others; they've earned my trust.

I can't help but think about the day when mom dies.  My routine will change again.  Daily morning calls to West 2 will stop, only to be replaced by another family member calling them to check on the next new resident.

Over the last 8 months since mom's been living in a nursing home, I have made friends with some of the staff.  We've been through a lot, many of them even survived the "Wrath of Sue"; some of it documented in the pages of this blog while other stories remain locked up in my private writing for publishing at a much later date, long after my mom is dead.

Right now... life is good.  Mom's happy, so I'm happy.  I worry less, especially on days when my "A Team" are working.  This weekend, the "A Team" is on duty both day and night.  I have the weekend off.  No need for me to rush to the facility to keep an eye out for mom and enlighten staff who don't understand how to communicate with her.

Thank you Georgia, Stephen, Kathy and Cheryl, because of you, everyday is a good day!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Mom, happy with her baby
January 6, 2012

Mom's doing awesome since I signed the waiver to give mom homeopathic's. The nurses give Mom the homeopathic medicine on a schedule, something that has stopped her agitation and insomnia.

Visiting my mom has become fun. I look forward to our visits. A dream come true, one that I never imagined would manifest for us. Mom smiles and laughs. She talks in complete sentences on her good days about what's going on in her world.

Seeing Mom at peace in her mind, makes all the hardship and pain that I suffered for her worthwhile. All I ever wanted for my mom was to give her a happy end of life.

I am grateful.

The facility where mom lives brought in a new Executive Director and Director of Nursing; leaders who listen. Leaders who believe that our folks worked all of their lives and deserve to be cared for with love, dignity and respect. Their compassion is contagious... outstanding role models.

Alleluia!

The energy in the nursing home is brighter; no longer do I walk through the door and see dark energy around the residents. Folks seem happier through out the building, both patients and staff.

Because of all the positive changes going on where Mom lives, I feel that my life is becoming my life again. Thank you, everyone who has helped us.

I can breath.

I can relax a little bit more; my soul has longed for peace.

 Thank you. I feel peace.

Mom, she's always loved the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Often she'd sing the song as we drove along, while looking out the window as though she was looking for the rainbow.

Mom's doing great; she's happy, she seems to have made it over the rainbow, where skies are blue.