I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

21 November 2009

Success Principle Six of Being a Good Care Giver: Emotions

Life has ups and downs. Some days care giving for my mom can leave me feeling as though I've got more down days than up ones.  It was during a down time that I knew I needed to do something to save myself from my own destructive thoughts.

I've had times when I have been fearful of the road ahead.  Not knowing what the hell this Lewy Bodies Dementia would bring my way.  I suppose we are fortunate to be care givers for someone with LBD because Lewy has a way of making a Care Giver face fears head on. 

I'd say the biggest fear we all face is death.  It's going to happen to all of us.  Every day we are really one day closer to our death day.  Oh boy, that's enough to send the strongest minded person into a mini-depressed state of mind.

What is it that we fear as Care Givers?  In my opinion, I believe it's facing our own mortality.  Caring for a parent who has a terminal illness, one where there's no cure and the outcome is not good, has left me looking in the mirror.  I ask myself questions like, will it happen to me?  Will LBD affect one of my siblings or my husband?  Can we avoid the trouble now by changing our habits?

I really don't know the answers to these questions but I do know I'll give it a good shot.  I have changed my habits, life habits that were speeding up my aging, rushing me faster toward the end of my life with a similar fate as my mom.

I've seen the destruction of Lewy Bodies Dementia.  I know it is brought on by poor nutrition and blows to the head.  Poor diet.  Out of control blood sugars and blood pressure helps ensure one will lose their minds at some point in time if they survive heart disease.

Looking in the mirror I say to myself, "Self I say, what the hell are you doing?  Do you really want to have Brian looking under the bed for extra wild animals or a strange man that only exists in my mind?


I have decided not to fail myself.  I have taken action.  I have taken control of ME.  I am grabbing fear and turning it into a positive, I will succeed as a care giver, even if the outcome for my mom is death.  There's no growing, there's nothing new, just decline... but we can succeed with Lewy by making changes to how I chose to react to the fear of the unknown.  Will it ever end?

Fear of failure is an opportunity to succeed

Focusing on my own self, I know that I am the only one that I can control.  I control everything about myself.  The way I chose to think, the dreams I have, all of these thoughts are mine and I control them. 

Overcoming obstacles and controling one’s emotions when care giving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia can be difficult. What I am discovering by practicing business success principles with care giving is that I'm able to control myself better. 

“When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions...”

W. Clement Stone

1902-, American Businessman, Author

There are people who come into our lives who are negative and can easily bring us down. These individuals are dangerous to our success as Care Givers.  They often are fearful themselves and unintentionally share their fear with you bringing on self-doubt. Conversely, the people we are caring for can easily bring us down too, the only difference with our loved one is that we are the one who created the negativity in the first place with our negative attitude or behavior.  Remember, LBD folks feel energy, you don't even have to speak.

Do all that you can to avoid being with negative thinkers, people who criticize your plan and your dream.  As Care Givers we all have dreams of helping our loved one pass over more comfortably.  I know it's true for me anyway, my personal goal and dream is to help my mom have more good days than bad ones, keeping the hallucinations at bay long enough for her to still enjoy the sparks of life that she still has left.

The critics in your life will resurrect your greatest fears. Fear is an internal defense mechanism that turns itself on when it is forced to cross into unknown waters. The fear of failure is the obstacle that hits us when we are nearing our success. Our thoughts start to race and we begin to doubt ourselves. We start to say to ourselves “What if …” as though some part of us is trying to defend fear and convince us to quit.

The best way to over come fear is to face it. If you have a phone call you’ve been putting off for quite some time, pick up the phone right now and make that call. Face whatever fear is causing you to procrastinate. The feeling of liberation after you have done a task that you really didn’t want to do is quite magnificent.

An aide to overcome anxieties of completing uncomfortable tasks is to breath while you allow yourself to relax. When we face our fears with calm, relaxed and calculated actions, we are more likely to move through the difficulty unscathed.

Breathing Exercise to Relax

While sitting straight up in a chair with your arms and legs uncrossed, or lying down with your arms and legs uncrossed, close your eyes and get comfortable.

Begin to slowly take deep breaths through your parted lips. Hold the breath as you visualize yourself in your movie. See yourself achieving your persoanl and care giving goals. Slowly breathe the air out as you feel yourself become more relaxed. Continue breathing like this for several minutes. Experience your relaxed state of consciousness. Feel the life inside you and believe in your greatness.

Each time you begin to feel overwhelmed with the events that are occurring in your life. Stop. Breath. Relax. Remember who you are. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you on your journey. Surround yourself with mentors, people that you wish to model your own life after. A Success Coach (also called Life Coach) is a type of mentor that many people turn to for support. These individuals help their clients to remain focused and give them the support and encouragement to keep going and not quit.

Together they work through the roadblock, creating solutions to counteract the problems that you appear to face.

Believe it or not, even a coach needs a coach to help stay on track. Human nature is what causes people to forget, we all need reminders.  I may not be telling some of you anything new. Please take these words as a reminder to remember what you know and continue to apply it to your life.

Through the effort of working on ourselves and becoming the best that we can be, we are ultimately helping to change the world into a happier place, one person at a time. It all begins with YOU!

“Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he

who forces his actions to control his thoughts.”

Og Mandino

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