I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

15 November 2009

Self Help Lesson 1: The Obituary of the Old Life

Over the years, I've been on a path of self discovery.  Like most people, I like answers, logical answers to pressing problems.

What I've learned is that all problems begin with oneself.  It's how we perceive things and situations, rolled up with expectations that cause us to have melt downs or moments of total disatisfaction with life.  Often folks will want to blame someone else for the shitty hand that they were dealt, only making the feelings of despair worsen.

As a care giver, I know that it is SO easy to want to blame someone else for how bad one can feel when the "doing" of care giving has gotten on your last good nerve.  I know from experience, it's not easy, especially when we start to trip over our egos.

Care giving requires a lot of selflessness.  I've found that I get the most personal satisfaction when I don't think about what I'm doing or why I'm doing it.  I just do it.  Not looking for a pat on the head or the back, I care because of love for the person, it's like the clouds in the sky disapating and letting in the sun.  It's during these times that I don't look for outside approval, that I feel my soul flooding with good vibes, feelings that make me feel really good inside.  It's like a magic fuel that keeps my care giving engine full.

However, it's all a big fine line to walk, care giving.  It's a balancing act of ones ego.  It's so easy to fall into the downward spiral of "what about me?"

There are days I find myself going to the dark side of my being, a part of me that really bugs the living snot out of me.  Ego.  We all have one.  With out it we'd freaking die.  We must have love of self, but how much is too much, how much is too little?

Purity of heart?  What's my motivation?  Why do I do what I do? 

These are questions I think about often because they seem to help me maintain a level of personal happiness.  I've found that when love is my driving force, life is good and solutions are uncovered.

Today, I'm using a technique that I learned during my hypnosis training, I'm writing an obituary for my old life so that I can create a new one for myself.  It works.  I've used this method repeatedly, always with results that are better than I could have expected.

Here's how it works. 

Sit down and write an obituary about yourself.  How do you think it would read?  If you were an asshole in the past, it's ok to sit and write, "Boy, I was a flaming asshole to so many people in this life.  I'm very sorry for hurting people's feelings with my sharp tongue..."  Or something to that effect. 

Write it from your heart.

You can also write about how awesome a person you were in the past.  All the people that you helped, the selflessness, the random acts of kindness, everything.  Be honest.  There are no right or wrong ways to write your obituary.  It's for you.  The more honest you are, the better.

Once you have recognized your old self for who you were, love yourself for all your good deeds and forgive yourself for any wrong doings. 

The old you is dead.

Take your obituary and burn it.  Have a private little funeral for your old self, let it just go up in flames.

Now, you are ready to create a new life for yourself.

Sit with a clean sheet of paper and imagine the life that you want.  Be specific with outcomes.  Don't pay any attention as to HOW you will achieve the outcome, that doesn't matter, the Universe will help create it.  All you need to do is ask.  You know how Christ always said something about "ask and you shall receive?"  Well, ask the universe for what you want. 

It will come to you.  Just be sure to write in the NOW, as though it already is here.

The secret to creating a new life script for yourself, a new movie for you, where you have the leading roll, is writing it with strong emotion and feeling.  Believe that you are worthy to have all the great things that life has to offer and it will come to you. 

The only caveat is the new script has to be all about you, not anyone else.  You can't make anyone do anything, it's all about you.  When your life is in order, everything follows in step.

There are so many Universal Laws that hold the keys to our personal happiness on Earth.  It all begins with YOU, your Godself within.

The best way that I've found to get started is to acknowledge my past, who I was and then imagine the life of my dreams. 

It's so much fun to dream and dream big. 

The only way to manifest anything into your life is to take a strong thought, put in some strong emotion, passion, enthusiasm, belief... know it's yours, focus on the end result - pay no attention to the HOW and before you know it, POOF... your new movie, your new life is freakin better than you could have ever imagined.

Today, the new me is born.  I have a new life and a new day to relax and be.


  1. Happy new birthday to the new you! Being a caregiver is more than difficult, it is hell somedays, but it is also the most satisfing that you can do for someone. Love is unconditional and that is the only way caregiving can work. I think you are doing a wonderful job and your love shows. Jeanne

  2. Thank you Jeanne. What I'm learning is ... Love is all that matters in life.