I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

02 April 2009

Shhhhh... the man's in there!

Yesterday was an interesting day. I spent a good chunk of it reassuring my mom that she wasn't getting screwed by the credit card company and her bank. I suppose it serves me right showing her MSNBC. She watches it all day long.

My mom was pretty upset yesterday morning. For some reason she thought she had to go bankrupt because she didn't see any way out of her debt.

She doesn't have a lot of debt and doesn't have any rent or living expenses since my husband and I take care of it for her. Bankruptcy definitely wasn't the answer. It would be nothing more than a royal pain in my ass, driving to talk to a lawyer.

So... little Josie wouldn't let the bankruptcy idea go. I found her in her room reading the phone book, looking for a lawyer. I said to her, "Make sure you set up for someone to take you to the lawyer before you call and make an appointment. I'm against it so I won't be your wheels. Sorry about that."

I saw how upset she was and I asked her, "Why do you think you need to go bankrupt?"

She showed me the 2 letters she got and they were about the same bill. She believed she was being double billed, but she wasn't. One letter was talking about the repayment plan with a reduced interest rate and the other was her statement showing that we made a payment.

I called the CC company, she talked to them and I thought everything was OK. Then, I went back to doing my thing. A short time later I went back downstairs and she was all worked up about the bank. She thought they "stole" 200 bucks. After some research, she had written a check out of sequence and had forgotten why. Super... problem solved!

Like I do every day, I made the moms and me lunch and brought Josie her salad wrap. She ate it and then she dozed off in her chair. That's when THE MAN showed up. he always comes when she's either sleep deprived or stressed out. Yesterday she was both. I found out later that she hadn't been sleeping the last couple of nights, even with the Melatonin!

It was early afternoon when I stopped in to see my mom. She was wide eyed. I knew immediately that she had a hallucination. I noticed her bathroom door shut as she was mouthing the words to me... "He's in there!" as she pointed to the door.

I said, "What? Who's in there?" I thought... hmmm, my mother in law? Why would she use Jo's toilet? My mom was so convincing that I began to believe her. I turned on the bathroom light and said, 'Ok, I'm going in!" My mom said, "NO! Oh NO!"

I opened the door.

No one was there.

My mom said, "I KNEW that once you came and opened the door he wouldn't be there."

I said, "yes, because he isn't. It's your mind creating it. You know how the dogs that are on Dog Whisperer get so focused on something that they become obsessed and seem crazy? Well, you are doing something similar. You are focusing on assumptions and your mind is making other assumptions and before you know it you've created a reality that only exists in your mind.

Make sure to look for the shadows and that will let you know if someone is real. More importantly, relax. Let the worry go, you don't have to worry about anything, these are your golden years to enjoy, so for God's sake will you enjoy em?!


  1. Have you heard the phrase "coming to where they are" when working with people that have dementia? I think it works best in some circumstances, not so great in other circumstances.

  2. Yes, I did try this coming to where she is approach and it didn't work. She's not totally gone mentally, she is actually getting sharper in her thinking during the day. Hypnosis works.

    Thank you for your suggestions, I'm open to them so please keep 'em coming!

  3. The "old school" approach was always to correct them, "reality orient." I remember one woman in a nursing home, she always asked for her husband after she was done eating dinner, sometimes she's get quite upset. He'd long since died. Some days if I told her I'd go look for him she'd be fine for a bit, other days not. Some days I'd say, "but Lillian, he died a long time ago" and she'd laugh and laugh, and say, "oh that's right!" Other days when I tried that she looked at me like I was crazy and call me a liar.

  4. What I've noticed through observations is that what my mom eats, how well she sleeps and if she exercises all contribute to "the man" showing up.

    For 1 week my mom (me too, I figured I'd support her)at nothing but fruit, vegetables, fish and lean meat. We cut out all carbohydrates and preservatives. We ate nothing that came in a box, only natural foods.

    The result? My mom couldn't even MAKE the man show up!

    This was a way that I was able to convince my mom how complex the mind can be, how everything effects our brain.

    Through balance of mind, body and spirit, we have hope that she will be able to live with us until her last day on Earth.

    All of my family now has extra time to spend with her, she's not been this clear mentally for years!

  5. That's interesting - the diet results.