I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

19 November 2009

Success Principle Four of Being a Good Care Giver: Self-Esteem

I am the world's greatest miracle!

Lewy Bodies Dementia has a way of sucking a care giver's self-esteem right out from under our nose.

Even the most astute student of all things mind, body and spirit can become a victim to the loss of self-esteem, it has a way of sneaking up on us and before we know it, we are left with unkept hair, a new muffin top rolling over our favorite jeans, (the only ones that didn't seem to shrink - Thank God for spandex) and worst of all, a broken spirit.

How does this happen to really good people?  How does it happen to anyone?

From experience, I know that it's easy to put your own needs on the back burner while helping someone else.  Care givers are notorious for being good givers and lousy receivers.

We absolutely need a balance between give and take.  The Universal Law of Giving and Receiving makes sure that the law of balance is maintained.  Too much giving or too much receiving causes an imbalance, the flow of energy begins to stagnate and your life seems to take on a whole new meaning for the word suck.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is simple.  Give with no expectation of receiving in return.  Give from your heart, as care givers do every day.  Give love and you get love.  Give compassion and you get compassion.  Give money and you get money.  However, the catch is to just do it with out expecting anything in return.  What ends up happening is the flow begins, you give and you receive. 

Be open to the gifts, be grateful.  Be grateful for the sunny day or that the person in your care had a good rest.  I find when I'm grateful for my mom getting a good night sleep, I get one in return.  It's almost magical.

Low self-esteem comes on gradually, we don't even see it coming until we are a blubbering pool of tears, sobbing at our own self-made pity party. 

When I give out sadness the Universe does it's thing by rewarding me with more sadness.  After all, it appears to be what I want because that's what I'm GIVING (see how it works?)

I hate feeling this way, I know that I shouldn't.  I know that when I am feeling down, it's way harder to be an effective care giver, a good care giver. 

Looking at our glass as half empty we begin to resent people around us and in our families.  We perceive all sorts of false notions which feeds our ever sinking feeling, propelling us further down into our self made abys of despair.

Emotionally we find ourselves not able to handle the selfless act of care giving and we begin to feel worse.  We can't handle the pressure of care giving.  We find ourselves saying, "Hey, what about me?"  We blame every one around us for the so called "shitty hand" we were dealt.

“Yes, there are times when something is legitimately not our fault. Blaming others, however, keeps us in a stuck state and is ultimately rough on our own self-esteem.”

Eric Allenbaugh

American Author of ''Wake-Up Calls''
I could go on and on.  Only because I've lived this experience first hand.  I know that it's counter productive to all the good that I do when I switch my focus to things that I have no control.

The only person any of us can control is ourselves.  When we focus our attention on what we can do about ourselves, what we can do to bring ourselves happiness and then do it... the world begins to walk in step with us.  Even Lewy plays along better because our emotions are not frazzled.  Care giving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia requires calm emotions.

Personally, I've made a decision to stop the spiral downward.  The crying.  The sadness.  All of my sad emotions were adding fuel to create an existence that I did not want any part.

So, I changed.  I chose to be happy. 

It's easy to say, chose to be happy, chose to take care of yourself, but you can do it.

Change your mind.  Change how you approach a problem or a situation and everything in your life will change.

Exercising is a great way to boost your self esteem.  Stop eating processed foods.  Cut out white flour... baked goods, don't eat them. 

Feed your body with healthy greens, spices and herbs.

Find an activity that you can do for yourself, something that makes you feel good. 

For me, I love using Wii Fit.  The yoga is awesome.  I love running in place with my Mini-Mi.  My attitude is better, I can think more clearly and the little shit doesn't bother me, not as much anyway.

I've noticed that when I have a good attitude about life, my mom has better days and nights.  It ends the insanity, the sleepless nights, the looking under the bed for extra cats or in the closet for the "hidden" stair case that leads to nowhere special.

Taking time for oneself is more important than anything we can do because if we are sick or worse, dead, how can we continue on with our good work and example for future generations?

Feed your soul.  Read a book.  Write a blog.  Paint a picture.  Cook a fine meal.  Go for a walk.  Just do something for yourself at least once a day.  Even 5 minutes of you time will do wonders for your spirit and will move you one step closer to boosting your self-esteem.

Remember, you are your greatest miracle, you hold the power to transform your life all by changing your mind about how you think about your current situation.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you!

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