BINGO! A Day Off from Caregiving

It's been pretty darn awesome around here now that we have my mom on Ashwagandha in the morning and in the evening.

Mom can carry a conversation and takes great pride in reminding me about things that I forget. Music to my ears, "Susie, did you remember that you needed cumin?" All through the store she reminded me of things that I had put on my list.

It's almost like she's turning into the "Rainman" with her new herbal remedies.

Deep inside I have a dream that my mom will be cured. I suppose I'm in denial that my mom will only get worse, well, that's what people say... that's what I read on all these blogs and online support groups of folks caring for parents with dementia, specifically, Lewy Bodies Dementia.

I don't want to believe it. I want to see my mom just die peacefully and comfortably. She deserves to pass over to wherever it is we go, in peace.

Reading the online support group notes, one after another, telling the horror stories of their wards. Screaming through the night, the caregiver is left wondering what to do. Are they in pain? Not being able to communicate, the patient is often left screaming and the caregiver wondering how to make it all stop.

I feel the pain of the caregiver. Somedays it's my personal experiences with my mom's Lewy Bodies that causes my pain but sometimes, when my mom is having a good day, it's the stories of others that make me cry.

Today I'm left wondering, is mom getting better? She's not on the drugs that others with her condition are on, we are trying something different, natural and homeopathic remedies.

Yesterday, my mom picked up the phone in her room and called my sister. BY HERSELF. She remembered her phone number from memory and dialed. I was speechless. Is my mom getting better?

Is it OK to expect improvement with someone who has Lewy Bodies Dementia? From what I read the answer is no. There is no cure. There's no hope.

But... I still have a glimmer of hope, a spark inside that keeps me going, working to help her to overcome her mental angst that Lewy brings with it. Reiki and Hypnosis help. I am visualizing the lewy bodies dissolving. Is it working?

Today, I have a day off, a few hours while my mom is at the Bingo Hall with my sister. I should have planned better and had some great day planned with Brian, but I didn't.

Do I take a nap? I read a blog post this morning about napping and boy, that sounds like a fine way to spend my day off. I suppose I could travel in my mind to one of the many exotic places that I've been in my lifetime.

Maybe I'll dream about the trip to Wine Country that I'll take one day with Brian, to visit my childhood pen pal (my good friend) where we'll bop in and out of wineries, trying little samples, lots of them, swallowing the fine wine instead of spitting it out, laughing, buying wine to bring home, laughing, giggling - definitely catching a good buzz.

When I was working, before I became my mom's caregiver, I traveled to California a lot, where my friend Corinne lives. I always extended my trip, staying over a weekend so that Corinne and I could take one of our fabulous trips up to Sonoma or Napa.

I believe this picture was taken at Grundlasch Bundschu, my favorite winery back in 2006. We had a good buzz going for ourselves. Corinne is a really good friend. We formed our friendship through the US Postal Service, starting in 1968. You can read about it here if you want to know our story.

Mom's out with my sister. I'm free until 4pm. It's a beautiful day to spend with my husband, maybe drinking wine... maybe... we should just take a long nap!