Creating Memories... Just In Case

Caring for my mother who is demented has taught me a valuable lesson.  Make happy memories today because if we ever become demented we will want to remember the happy memories.    Happy memories make a demented individual more peaceful, well that's what I've been observing.

Unfortunately my mother wasn't very social during her life, she sucked at networking.  She never learned social skills because of her screwed up childhood.  It wasn't her fault.  Her dad died when she was 6 and her mother went nuts after her brother was killed in the War.  Her older sister was diagnosed as schizophrenic when she was only 16.  I can't imagine being institutionalized at 16.

My mother did really well considering her beginnings were so difficult.  I am still amazed that my mother had never spoken to her mother because my Grandmother only spoke Italian and my mother only knew English.  Makes you wonder if we even need to speak to our children or parents... is there a secret connection that doesn't need words?

My mom's memories are of her children.  She sees children running around the house a lot.  My dead brother sits and watches TV with her every day.  There's some lady that looks through the window at her.  This lady is new.  My mom told me that the lady wants her to go with her somewhere, that she wants my mom to join their club. 

I'm not sure what this means.  Is she seeing dead people, spirits or angels?  Are they getting her ready for passing?  Who knows? 

I do remember that 3 months before my brother Ed died he saw little children coming to his screened door, looking in at him.  He told me that they were transparent and when he'd go to the door, he'd see their ghosts running down the deck toward the stairs.  The children were playful.  Ed saw the kids a lot.  It always made me nervous because Ed's health wasn't good.  Ed drowned 3 months later in a white water rafting accident. 

So, we make memories through out our lives, some good and some not so good.  The bad memories seem to haunt my mother and the good memories become happy visits for her from beyond the grave.  I suppose I won't be able to prove this theory of mine for a few more decades, when it's my turn to have my end of life parade of spirits come to me.

Just in case, I'm creating happy memories now so that no one scares the crap out of me!