Socializing Is Crucial For Her Demented Mind

Hallucinations are part of our life.  It's not unusual to see my mom out in the yard talking to her friends, friends that are hallucinations which only she can see.

There are days when she will talk to inanimate objects in the yard, believing that they are children, women or men.  The men, they are always good looking and she frequently will invite them in for dinner.  I make them rainbows and put them in a bowl because they can't eat our food.

My mom accepts that they can't eat our food, probably because there is always one too many melted ice cream bars, ice cream bars that she always tries to share.  She sort of understands that her food is not good for her "friends."  I've told her that if they ate our food too, we'd have an even bigger problem feeding the living people on Earth.

I've noticed that if my mom is upset about anything, the hallucinations will be unsettling to her, creating more angst in her mind.  It can snowball into a panic if we don't get her to focus on something happy.  It's during these times when she's agitated that I give her a little Hyoscyamus Niger, a homeopathic remedy that our ND has prescribed.  It works within 15 minutes.  The hallucinations don't go away, they just become more friendly and happy.

We have been able to stop her hallucinations with Helleborus Niger but it also makes her mad if she can't see her friends.  I really don't care if she sees people and things, as long as she isn't annoyed or upset over what she's witnessing.

Lately, my mom is happy.  The Adult Day Care Program is helping her a lot.  Socializing with people other than me is allowing her happier days.  She laughs and has fun with the other people who attend the program.  The head nurse told us yesterday that she is doing great.  She goes from one activity to the next, she participates, laughs and is beginning to feel like it's her place.  We were told that she's now holding doors for people, she's become the door lady.

Tuesday comes and she knows she goes to school.  I've told her that I called Dream Master and all her friends know that she will be in school until 2:30.  My mom's routine is school and then when she gets home she can listen to my iPad, carrying it around like a book.  My mom will not let the "book" out of her sight.  The music that she listens to from Pandora Radio over the internet is fabulous.  Frank Sinatra variety of songs makes her believe that my dad is singing to her.

Jack Johnson, she believes he is one of her 3 Greek boyfriends who are all brothers.  She has never seen Jack Johnson's picture, just listens to his music.  His music makes her believe that he is Greek, one of 3 brothers that look a like, she can't tell them apart; this is when she crosses the line of too much information.

My mom is funny.  Her stories are woven into a life that exists in her mind and one where I need to dip my toe into her world of illusion in order to validate her hallucinations.  Validating her visions seems to put her at ease.

My mom believes that I have a special connection to the other side.  She believes that I know stuff and don't tell her everything.  Probably because I told her that it's against the Universal Laws for me to tell her somethings, that I tell her too much as it is.  She believes that she's privy to living here with the living and wherever her dead friends exist.

Day care (school) appears to be the missing part to her health plan.  Her happiness level has risen, she smiles and laughs more.  She enjoys dancing and will dance around the house or backyard on a whim.  Acupuncture helps her find her words and socializing is crucial for her demented mind, it allows my mom to stay present with the living.

Her Spirit Baby

"The Baby!!!!!!!!!"  My mom screamed.

It was just about 11 PM, I was tucking myself in for a restful sleep when I heard the panicked foot thumping of my barefoot mom down the hall and into the sun room.

"Where is he?!  You have to find him.  Help him.... THE BABY!"  My mom was in a panic, she was literally freaking out; she was worried about her baby boy, the one she lost through a still birth over 50 years ago.

Mom was shaking, she believed that her baby needed help.

"Stop him from eating that yellow stuff... oooo oooo... STOP HIM!  Please, he's going to get hurt."  My mom began to plead with me.

"He'll be OK Ma.  Dennis is with dad.  You just had a bad dream.  Everything is OK, Dennis is safe.  He is fine."  I did my best to calm her, assuring her that her spirit baby was being looked after by dad and Ed.

"Oh... it's just not fair, why did God have to take him?  Why didn't God let him have a life?  It's just not fair."  My mom continued to rant.

"Well, if Dennis was born and lived, you never would have had me.  Who would be here to take care of you now if Dennis lived?  I would not have been born.  Dennis gave his life to me because he knew back before he was born that you would need me more.  Isn't he a good boy?  He is OK.  He's protected and he now helps me to help you.  It's OK."  I gave my attempt at reason, who knows if I was able to get through to her.

I gave her a drink of Hyoscamus, a homeopathic remedy that calms my mom when she's agitated and upset.  It seemed to do the trick.  She went back to sleep and woke up at 6 AM... she is still looking for Dennis, her spirit baby.

Rough Daze

The last few days have been a bit of a challenge.  My mom, she was back to her crazy self, hallucinating about people with no heads and people in the trees, people that she claims are angels. 

My dead brother Ed, the electrician, he has been here a lot.  According to my mom, he's doing some wiring so that he can sit in the chair and read by angel light.  My mom gets excited when she sees him and when she tells me about seeing Ed, my God, she gets genuinely excited. 

"I smiled at him like this (she showed me a big smile) and I waved to him, I waved and he waved back!... Susie, Eddie is always here." She exclaimed 2 days ago.

The 15 year old boy who whistles was back too.  She couldn't remember his name, she talked to me as though I knew this boy... "What's his name?"  She said to me, "Come on, you know it... what's his name?"

We had visits from the children, the mischievous children that used to run rampant around my house... that is in my mom's mind these kids were here, stealing her things.  I was back to looking for things that she hid on herself. 

Through all of this, my hands still ache from poor ergonomics when using my computer.  I had to hold back from writing... sorry to anyone who reads my blog regularly. 

We did have some rough times, but I got through them with my mom. 

The other day when she was out with my sister, she bought some gluten free cookies.  I didn't know that my mom was eating them until I spied the open box and lots of cookies missing.  No wonder my mom was behaving crazy, the cookies she ate seemed to bring on the weird behavior, behavior that she'd display anytime she would eat baked goods with Baking Powder or Baking Soda.

I sat with my mom most of the day yesterday.  She frowned at me more than once, looking at me strangely like I was someone else.  My mom was aggitated.  She was upset that we couldn't go out because of the rain and the floods.

My mom, we got her back on track.  I had her take a Vinpocetine 5mg capsule and she took a nap for an hour.  When she woke up, I gave her a cup of coffee and a couple of pieces of dark chocolate.  Her eyes were back to normal, they were not wide and wild, scanning for visions as she had been since Sunday.

A little while later, I gave her one 250mg of Carnitine and 100mg of R-lipoic acid... my mom was back.  She was laughing and talking, smiling at me and hugging me.  Oh... I love it when my mom is here.

For dinner we had a recipe out of Dr. Tirman's cookbook, one that used corriander and curcumin, ginger, pepper and a little white wine.  My mom, she ate the entire meal, her appetite was good, an indicator that she's more present in the now.  An observation, when my mom gives me trouble about food, she's usually in a demented state of mind.

Mom, she's still sleeping... today will be a GREAT day, even if all the streets are flooded.

Monkey In the Bananas

We've been having great days lately, lots of them and all of them in a row. We've fine tuned my mom's supplements and diet to the point where she's pretty normal every day. 

I have extra time with my mom... she's coming back!  Could this be?

I remember thoughts not long ago wishing that my demented mother would return, just long enough so that I could enjoy her.  It's true, you miss the little things in a person when the person is gone.  I visualized it and believed that it was possible.  Next thing I knew... Josie returned.

It's as though the Universe has granted my "wish";  I have extra time to share my life with my mother.  A dream come true. 

So... with this extra time, where do I take her?  Shopping of course, her favorite pasttime.

Today, while we were shopping in Whole Foods, my mom asked what I needed. I gave her a few items on my list and off she went with the cart to gather grapes, blueberries, asparagus and bananas. She didn't need my list. She remembered everything using her own memory! I was pretty impressed.  Remembering the items didn't thrill me as much as today, the toy stuffed Monkey in the banana display didn't become a real boy!

Just a few weeks before my mom became convinced that the stuffed monkey in the banana display at Whole Foods was real, that the monkey was a living being, a mischievous boy. 

She often would talk to the monkey, "Get down from there... oh! oh! ... you are going to get hurt.  Susie, get him down!" 

For weeks I did everything I could to keep my mom out of the banana aisle at Whole Foods.  The Monkey freaked her out and any people that happened to be in the aisle with her.

More than once over the course of several months, my mom had dragged me to look at the monkey and said, "See, See Susie, it blinked at me. It's making faces! It's so funny… Someone better get that little boy out of there, he's going to get into mischief."

On and on she would carry on, crafting quite a story around the monkey in the bananas.

Observation: Blood Sugar Levels and Hallucinations in LBD

I've been observing my mom's hallucinations, the ones that she has that make us all believe that she's got LBD.... Lewy Bodies Dementia.  Of course we won't know definitively if she does have Lewy Bodies until after she passes and we have her brain autopsied.   She does have all the symptoms of LBD, hallucinations of people and animals being the calling card.

Yesterday, my mom saw elephants and horses in the yard.  "Look Susie, there's an elephant!"  She'd exclaim out of the blue.  Not long after her claiming to see an elephant, she'd tell me about horses, wild horses in the yard, beautiful horses that she believed were really there.  When I couldn't see them, she'd point to her left eye and wink as she said, "Well, you can't see them because you don't have a Magic Eye."

My mom gets cranky if she doesn't have some kind of bread.  I found that gluten free bread that is purchased in the store keeps her happy, but it does bring on hallucinations.  Granted, the hallucinations are not scary to her but she is having them, so I began to think of reasons why she's hallucinating.

Any type of rice product will cause hallucinations in my mom.  The amount of carbohydrates listed on the package is a good gauge as to how much she hallucinates and for how long. 

Typically, my mom's morning fasting glucose has been in the 80's, which is very good for someone who used to think 160 was a good blood glucose reading.  So many times she'd have blood glucose readings that were in the 200's and 300's!  It used to freak me out when I'd see such high numbers and I didn't know what to do to bring the numbers down.

My mom's been having gluten free bread the last couple of days and her fasting blood glucose this morning was 114, not a good reading for my mom. 

She's not hallucinating this morning.  I discovered long ago that she only begins to hallucinate when her blood sugar goes above 125. 

I also have observed that when my mom's blood glucose readings are higher than usual, if I give her more dark green vegetables with several meals, limit rice products to zero, her hallucinations disapate, she's more awake and engaging in conversation.

I believe that a drug free way to manage hallucinations in Lewy Body Dementia patients is to manage blood glucose, keep it low... I use Fenugree Extract drops when my mom's blood sugar is high.  One drop lowers my mom's blood sugar 15 points.  It chases the hallucinations away and she is more alive and happy.  My mom, she'll always say, "Oh, I feel human again. "

The issue with my mom feeling human is that she believes she can eat how she used to eat.  She feels normal ... she believes she's cured and can go back to her old eating habits.  For my mom the hardest thing for her is to change her thinking about food, she always loved bread and pasta... she still does. 

Through my observations, I believe that when blood sugar is high, hallucinations are more prevalent in Lewy Bodies Dementia patients.

Sunny Days, Hallucinations and The Dream Master

Sunny 70 degree days... we had one yesterday.  It was awesome. 

We all worked out in the yard together, even both moms.  My mom couldn't wait to sweep.  She waited patiently for me to finish raking my flower bed next to our new patio so she could sweep.  My mother in law, she came out too and picked up pine cones.  Lots and lots of pine cones.

I was into my gardening task; I didn't think of the camera until I was already outside with muddy feet.  Maybe next time, maybe this is going to have to be one of those times that I use my imagination and remember the day.

My mom's days have been very clear since she has taken 100 mg capsules of R-Lopoic Acid.  She had been taking 5 mg, the amount in Cognifactor.  Cognifactor is a great supplement.  RLA has helped my mom to feel "human."  My mom feels that she's improving when she takes the RLA.  I see the improvement, I have been able to converse with her, have real conversations like I did before she lost her mind.

But, my mom's improved cognition isn't just because of the supplements, it's also closely related to her diet.  I pay attention to her behaviors after she eats, it helps me to know what she can and can't eat.  Fat is added to the list, primarily dairy fat since we don't eat any other kind of fat. 

Both our Naturopath Doctor and Dr. LaPuma recommended my mom cut out dairy.  Dr. La Puma suggested that it could be causing my mom's night disturbances.  We cut it out for 2 weeks and saw an improvement.  When I gave her a little ice cream after having 2 weeks off dairy, my mom was up sleep walking and didn't know where she was... she wanted to go home; even though she was already home.

My mom loves ice cream so I began to buy her lactose free ice cream and milk.  She loves the taste and she doesn't appear to have night disturbances when she eats it. 

Yesterday, I made pan fried fish.  I cut up some haddock into 3 inch pieces, added a little salt and pepper and coated the fish in soy flour.  I put 2 tablespoons of olive oil in my cast iron pan, heated it until the oil shimmered and then I cooked the fish for about 3 minutes on each side until the batter was golden.

I made steamed asparagus and steamed fresh peas.  My mistake came when I made tartar sauce using Trader Joe relish and some mayonnaise.  My mom loved it with her fish.  She ate all the tartar sauce. 

Shortly after ingesting it, she began to hallucinate more than she has been.  She was whisphering for me to come over to her so she could tell me about the people taking pictures of her with the zoom lens... "I must be beautiful if they are taking my pictures... hehehe"  she said to me.  Fortunately, the hallucinations are friendly.

At bed time, my mom was in full blown hallucination mode.  Whishpering, "Susie, come here... the people, the people are in the room.  They stole my necklace that Donna gave me."

I thought I'd try the Dream Master...

"That's it!  I'm calling the Dream Master.  I am paying extra good deeds and you are having hallucinations worse than ever.  This stinks!"  I exclaimed as I picked up the phone in my mom's room that's not plugged into the wall.  I dialed the customary 11 numbers.

My mom in a panic said as she was throwing the covers off her, "No don't.  I'm leaving.  Don't call.  It was a misunderstanding."

I hung up the phone and she stayed in bed.

I then looked out into the air on the otherside of the room, where she said the people were... "Look all you people, get the hell out of here.  I am so sick of you bothering my mother.  Now SCOOT.  There's the door.  Get out ... get out... GET OUT!"

That seemed to work.  My mom settled down and went to sleep.

She woke around 3am to use the bathroom, she did a little walk around the house and went back to sleep; as of this writing of this post, she is still sleeping.

Creating Memories... Just In Case

Caring for my mother who is demented has taught me a valuable lesson.  Make happy memories today because if we ever become demented we will want to remember the happy memories.    Happy memories make a demented individual more peaceful, well that's what I've been observing.

Unfortunately my mother wasn't very social during her life, she sucked at networking.  She never learned social skills because of her screwed up childhood.  It wasn't her fault.  Her dad died when she was 6 and her mother went nuts after her brother was killed in the War.  Her older sister was diagnosed as schizophrenic when she was only 16.  I can't imagine being institutionalized at 16.

My mother did really well considering her beginnings were so difficult.  I am still amazed that my mother had never spoken to her mother because my Grandmother only spoke Italian and my mother only knew English.  Makes you wonder if we even need to speak to our children or parents... is there a secret connection that doesn't need words?

My mom's memories are of her children.  She sees children running around the house a lot.  My dead brother sits and watches TV with her every day.  There's some lady that looks through the window at her.  This lady is new.  My mom told me that the lady wants her to go with her somewhere, that she wants my mom to join their club. 

I'm not sure what this means.  Is she seeing dead people, spirits or angels?  Are they getting her ready for passing?  Who knows? 

I do remember that 3 months before my brother Ed died he saw little children coming to his screened door, looking in at him.  He told me that they were transparent and when he'd go to the door, he'd see their ghosts running down the deck toward the stairs.  The children were playful.  Ed saw the kids a lot.  It always made me nervous because Ed's health wasn't good.  Ed drowned 3 months later in a white water rafting accident. 

So, we make memories through out our lives, some good and some not so good.  The bad memories seem to haunt my mother and the good memories become happy visits for her from beyond the grave.  I suppose I won't be able to prove this theory of mine for a few more decades, when it's my turn to have my end of life parade of spirits come to me.

Just in case, I'm creating happy memories now so that no one scares the crap out of me!

"Oh, Thank God it's YOU... How Do I Get Out of Here?"

A little after 4am this morning I heard strange noises from upstairs, they were noises that appeared to be off in a distance.  Immediately I jumped up, hoping not to disturb the kittens sleeping on our bed with us.  The last thing I wanted was to wake them up because they'd either nag me for food or start "doin' it." (Jan 4th they are getting "fixed.")

I got to the top of the stairs, turned the corner to the hall which leads to my mom's room and it was dark.  Her bedroom door was shut.  She never shuts it unless she's having hallucinations about something disturbing to her.

My office light was on, the door to the office was shut.  I opened her bedroom door and every light was on in the room, even the top overhead light that is part of the ceiling fan.  My mom appeared to be in the bathroom.

I sat quietly in her chair for a few minutes, after all, she was in the bathroom.  I chose to give her a few minutes peace to do her business.  10 minutes passed.  I hear shuffling in the bathroom and she doesn't come out.  No toilet flush, just movement sounds coming from the room.

Knocking on the bathroom door I say, "Ma, are you OK?"

Opening the door ever so slowly I see my mom standing at the sink with Savita trying to escape.  My mom was freaking out about letting her out, she thought the door to her bedroom led outside.

"Oh, thank God it's you!  How do I get out of here?  Where's the door out?"  She continued on in a frantic speech, wild eyed like she saw a ghost.  The wind.... something about the cat... something about a door leading outside, I was still reeling from dreaming about my dad and Ed.  My mom woke me just as the dream was finishing.

I assured her that it was the door to the hall that led to the kitchen, the sitting room and the dining room.  I opened the door because Savita wanted out, she was starting to scratch the wood.  My mom was scared.  "Ouuuuuuuu.... don't let her out, it's cold and dark outside", my mom yelled.  Then she said something about the mirror in her bathroom, I couldn't make out what she was trying to say.  She was using the wrong words.  Poor Ma.

I hugged her and told her that everything is going to be OK, that she was just having a nightmare.  I gave her the thyroid supplement and some helleborus.  Tucked back in bed, fully dressed for a couple more hours of sleep with a resistance to closing her eyes.  A few strokes on her head, a little Reiki and a few suggestions got her to settle down and rest.

Immediately I realized what had happened, why she got so scared and wouldn't walk down the hall to squeak the floor... the kittens knocked over the small lamp yesterday and broke the bulb that I had in the hall to light it so that it wasn't so dark and scary for my mom.  I was out of replacement bulbs with the correct wattage; last thing I wanted was to burn my house down using a bulb that was too powerful for the lamp, so I left it until I could get a bulb today.

Darkness is scary to my mom or anyone with Lewy Bodies Dementia.  I've noticed that she won't walk into a dark area or on dark floors with out testing the floor.  Uncle Al does the same thing when he visits, he checks the dark spots on the floor with his foot to make sure that they are not big holes that he'll fall into.

7 AM arrived as did my mom, back to her normal, a place where she can walk on dark floors with out checking for a big hole.  Her hallucinations were gone.  I believe she will have a good day, even if earlier this morning she awoke terrified about something.

The Little Girl

My mom has been hallucinating about a little girl for months. The little girl is mischievous and gets into her things. The little girl makes my mom mad.

Last night, my mom went to bed early. Probably too early, but none the less, she fell asleep at 7pm-ish.

Before I called it a day, I instructed the cat to make sure she comes to get me if my mom woke up. She always does, especially when I tell her.

I slept like a log.

I thought I heard a noise at 4am but I ignored it when I didn't see the cat show up at my bedroom door.

8:30am. I can't believe that I slept until 8:30am! No cat came to the door. Hmmm? That's odd.

I rush upstairs and find her bedroom door shut. No wonder the cat couldn't come and get me. Her little TV table was upside down on the floor against a wall, tissue box on another side of the room on the floor. Pillows and blankets spewn everywhere too.

My first reaction... 'F(*&!" !!!

Mom was in bed, she told me that she was freezing. I pulled up her covers and asked her if she still wanted to go to Bingo with Donna today. Her reply, "I have to go. I have to go to Bingo."

Last night I suggested to her that she's going to win. She usually does. I hope so... it will be just the happy time she needs to keep Lewy away for a few days.

I've been thinking of this little girl that she hallucinates about. Sometimes I wonder if one of my sisters or me is the little girl in her hallucinations?