"OK, I'm ready to go swimming!" She exclaimed as she came in to the kitchen.
My mom sat out on the patio and waited for me to open up the pool while she had headphones in her ears, listening to her favorite music. I planted seeds in my garden. A perfect summer day. I love summer!
The sun was hot. I told my mom that I would open the pool and then clean out the pine needles so that she could go in. She didn't hear me. I thought she did hear me, but oh was I wrong.
I was in the pool cleaning the pine needles and my mom started to yell at me from where she was sitting on the deck. She was mad because I was in the pool and she wasn't. I didn't tell her that I was going in. She got up from her chair, said something and stomped up the stairs to go inside.
Oh boy. Here we go again.
I finished my task, no sense getting out of the pool until I was done. Walking in to my mom's room, she had her door shut. She never shuts her door unless she's mad. I knocked and went in. She was laying in bed, in her bathing suit... mad. Really mad.
"You do it to me all the time!" She hollered. "You always do things to screw me up."
At this point, I was confused. I had no idea what I had done to piss her off. One minute she was happy and the next she was on a war path... with me!
Calmly I spoke to her, like you'd talk to a 6 year old who was having a temper tantrum. "Awww, come on Ma. I wasn't doing anything to piss you off. I was cleaning out the pool so that you wouldn't have dead bugs and pine needles. You know how much you hate the floating things in the pool, right? Come on, come in the pool. I cleaned it just for you."
My mom wanted to go in the pool badly but not before she attempted to make me cry. I didn't cry. She got out of bed.
"Here, let me help you put on your water shoes." I said to her.
"No, no, let me do it myself!" She replied back.
She tried to put on her shoes but had a little trouble, so I held the shoe open which made it easier for her to slip it on. Back we went to the patio and to the pool.
Climbing up the ladder my mom said, "No, no, let me do it myself!"
She did. She got into the pool like she's been doing it every day of her life. My mom smiled and laughed. She kicked her legs and held onto floating toys that would get away from her, dunking her into the water a little. She came up laughing as she said, "Oh, my hair! It's going to get ruined."
The pool calmed my mom, it made her forget why she was so mad in the first place. It was a misunderstanding, Ma couldn't hear me because she had her music playing in her ears. I need to make sure that I explain everything to her.
I found a really great document for Care Givers on the Lewy Bodies Dementia Association website, it helped me to navigate the upset from yesterday with ease. Here's the paragraph from their website where you can download the article on Dementia Care.
To get started, read this article on Dementia Care by Tanis J. Ferman, Ph.D, et al (July 2005) which provides caregiver tips on communicating, routines, wandering, aggression, exercise, sleep, moving day, scheduling home help, caregiver stress, and support groups.Our day was great. I gardened. I went in the pool. Everyone was happy, even the cats. The cats played with ice in their drinking dish, chased bugs and even caught a chipmunk. The cats played with the little rodent, making sure not to injure it. Our cats have learned that dead rodents are no fun, they prefer to keep them alive and play chase.
I love Summer.
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ReplyDeleteHow nice to read your smiles. :)
ReplyDeleteYou have chosen a difficult but oh so wonderful way of handling yourself during the very trying times of care giving.
I am SO proud of you!!
Not every day will be good and you will still lose your cool at times but you will always know where to go back too.
Hang in there Sue!!
You are doing a GREAT JOB!!!!
HUGS
Thanks Kathy... some days, as you know, are harder than others when we feel that a poke in the eye with a sharp stick would be better than Caregiving!
ReplyDeleteI found a solution from a link off your blog - thanks bloggie buddy!
Thank you for all of your kind words, they mean a lot coming from a Caregiver like you.