Excited and Nervous

Today the Visiting Angels are coming to meet my mom and me.  I'm excited and nervous.  My mom doesn't like people, she is anti-social and has been for as long as I can remember.  My mom doesn't make friends easily because she's shy.  My mom lacks social skills which makes me nervous.

I'm excited because the visits from the Visiting Angel will give me the break that I have been dreaming about for a very long time.  I will be able to get my dollar a minute massage at the mall, shop by myself and even better, possibly get to go and play a game of golf with my husband.  We love golf and often reminisce about the days before we were married, days when we had freedom to enjoy the little things that life has to offer.  I'm excited with the idea that regular respite is possible and it is happening!

I'm nervous because I don't know how my mom is going to react to her respite Care Giver.  If she doesn't like the person, she will surely let me know about it.  Typically, she'll lash out at me through behaviors that are annoying if she doesn't like something that I'm "making" her do.

I am excited and nervous.  I'm anxious for the angels to arrive and offer their help.  I pray that my mom is agreeable and likes her new buddy.  Change to her routine is always challenging, often it brings out the worst in my mom which makes care giving unbearable.

My sister Ann is coming to my rescue.  I'm grateful to have someone from my family to walk with as Lewy wins the war over my mom's mind and body.   It's a scary illness, mostly because we are all at risk.  It can happen to me, it could happen to anyone in my family or yours.  I'm grateful that I don't have to walk the path alone with my mom, Thank God, it's way too hard these days.

Today however, I'm excited and nervous with anticipation of having time to do things that bring me inner peace and happiness.  I feel like a kid the night before a field trip to  Benson's Wild Animal Farm... excited!