Is It Getting Easier?

Being a Caregiver for my mom appears to be getting easier now that I have had a couple of respite days, one after the other.  It's been just peachy now that I've had a break.  The lesson that I learned as a caregiver is that we need to take breaks.  Getting the ball rolling however is what I found to be the most challenging.  It was as though my feet were stuck to the ground, I couldn't move.

What stops us?

Looking back in retrospect, fear was what was stopping me.  Fear of the unknown.  I was afraid that if I rocked the boat my mom would spiral downward into a deeper demented state of mind.  The fear that I felt was real but it was unrealistic.  How could I be so sure that she'd react in a negative way?  Why did I believe that it was possible for her to flip out?  Probably because my past experience molded my belief.

I had forgotten that I have the power to change what happens in my life.

My mom, she did get a little upset with me because I didn't include her in the planning of her first day at the new Adult Health Program.  I took the control away from her which pissed her off.  If I had to do it over again, I would have talked to her on one of her good days and had her in the room when I made the call to schedule the day.  If I had included her in the scheduling, I think she would have been happier going to the special Adult programs for folks with mental impairement. 

It's interesting how my mom's mood and behaviors change based on the regularity of her daily routine.  When things are the same every day, where she knows that she's staying home or we're going food shopping, my mom has a really good day with clear cognition.  Changing her daily schedule seems to scare her and she can't remember words, her speech is affected. 

Today we are going to a new hairdresser who will set her hair in rollers after she colors it.  I have noticed that when my mom gets her hair done, she always walks taller and smiles more.  Let's see if the hairdo gives her the lift that she needs.