The Power of Hugs

Our house is finally calm, something that I wasn't sure we'd ever experience until our mom's were both gone.  But, we did it, we have peace in our home.

My mom, she was at a place mentally that sent her spiralling downward; all caused by two words, NURSING HOME.  Those two words together made my mom sob and shake uncontrollably in fear, she does not want to go to a home, not now, not ever. 

Getting through this last bump on my trip down the highway of dementia was no easy feat.  I cried.  I was on the verge of giving up and just saying fuck it, you're going!  But... when I had that thought, the thought of dumping my mother, getting rid of her, it made my stomach sick.  My blood pressure elevated to unhealthy levels.  My stress was so intense that I felt physical pain in my body.  I cried a lot before I realized that crying wasn't going to solve anything, only action on my part; I needed to figure something out.

I read an article somewhere on the web that told me to hug my mom because the behaviors she had been displaying were signs that she was scared.  Wanting to go home, that just meant she was frightened and was looking for a safe place.   Her hallucinations are more prevalent when she's scared, this made my job of turning things around much more difficult.

I had to turn this around!

Initially, she wouldn't hug me back.  She stood still like a board, not offering any emotion in return except for anger.  My mom was angry with me.  She believed that she was going to be put in a shitty nursing home, like the one her brother currently lives. 

Checking my ego at the door, keeping it locked up, is what helped me to get through this last round of upset.  I laughed when my mom got mad.  I couldn't help it.  I was looking at the whole scene like I was inside a movie.  It helped to laugh.  The sound of laughter seemed to shift my mom's thinking from anger to "hey, what's so funny, share the joke with me!" 

Slowly my mom came around.  I gave her positive suggestions using hypnosis techniques, the mind is still suggestible even with dementia.  I also gave her a homeopathic remedy for thyroid, it lifted her melancholy and increased her appetite.  She doesn't eat when she's in a demented spinout.

Life is peaceful in our home once more.  My mom knows that she lives here, today anyway.  I now have her sit in our sitting room next to the kitchen during the day so that she sees the sun.  The TV is easy for her to operate in there, just local channels with a simple remote control.  The sun shines in that room.  It's reminesce of her bedroom that she had in the house that I had bought for us to live, a place that she loved, a home where she felt safe.

Today, I understand the power of hugs so much more.  I love hugging people... I love getting hugs.  Hugs are universal, they do not require any language to be spoken.  To me, a hug is like being wrapped in angel wings of comfort and love by a human angel.

We all need angels, especially human angels that come to our rescue during our darkest hours, filling our hearts with light through a hug.

I've learned the power of hugs and now I'll give them out more freely.  If you need a hug, call me... If I need a hug, I'll call you!  Deal?