A Glimpse Into a Challenging Night of a Care Giver

I would say the hardest part of being a Care Giver is sleep deprivation and chasing hallucinations.  If you're a new mom or dad to an infant or a new mom to a demented old person, you know what sleep deprivation can do to ones reasoning abilities.

My sleep issues aren't all related to my mom waking up at all hours of the night, although the last 2 nights my sleep was disrupted by my mom squeaking the floor above my bed, just as my body seemed to cool down and  sleep was taking over.

I'm stressed out, extra hot flashes and my Chillow Pillow has failed me.  It ran out of cold the last 2 nights.  My body sucked every bit of delightful coolness out of it so it wasn't helping like it did the first night that I had used it.

Here it is. a foggy Sunday morning, a perfect morning to sleep in and I'm awake.  I'm over tired with a brain that is working overtime.  My biggest issue to solve is how to make sure that my mom sleeps all night.

Past experience dictates that she stick to a totally natural diet.  Only real food.  Nothing processed, nothing baked, not even gluten free products.  Grains and Dairy too.  All need to be avoided to keep the hallucinations and the paranoid behavior at bay.

It seems to take 24 to 48 hours for the ill effects of gluten or gluten free products to leave her body.  She will stop hallucinating when her system has been cleared.  I need to hold it together, I know that tomorrow will be better.  I just need to get through today.

Over the last few days, my dead brother Ed has been visiting.  My mom's dead brother Auggie, he visits too.  They never talk to her.  These are pleasant visits, but now she's got visitors, imaginary strangers who are "stealing her money." 

Last night my mom began waking up at 11pm, 12:15am, 3am, 4am 4:45am and finally at 5:15am.  I am exhausted.  I hope my sister takes her today so that I can sleep.

Every time my mom woke up she was looking for her money... her purse.  She kept telling me that "they" are stealing her money.   "Susie, the money, it's gone.  They stole it!"  She exclaimed with fright in her eyes.

"Ma, no one is taking your money.  It's here in this room somewhere, you must have moved it and forgot where you put it."  I attempted to reason with her, half asleep, not even thinking that my words would go in one ear and out the other, my mom stared at me blankly and said, "No.  No.  They stole it!"

It's really hard to remember that arguing with a crazy person and expecting to "win"  is futile; even when I "find" her purse, she still thinks someone is stealing her money.