10 July 2010
Waiting for Monday
My mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the catch all diagnosis for all forms of dementia with cognition issues.
My mom however, she doesn't forget, not like those who do have Alzheimer's. She remembers everything; her trouble is finding the words to tell you what she remembered. She gets frustrated. Her blood pressure rises and hallucinations start. My mom, she hallucinates, a lot.
Yesterday, the Acupuncture appeared to wear off and she was back to telling me about the big celebrations going on in our back yard. In the morning, she looked at me and said, "You are an angel. I can't believe it. They showed me your wings... you are an angel! Why didn't you tell me? You are an angel... wow! No wonder they keep telling me that they want you to join them." She looked at me in wonder and amazement, her face was soft and relaxed.
I agreed with her. I told her that I am an angel, a human angel that was sent to take care of her. I also told her that they can want me to join them but I'm not ready to die, because when we die is the only time we can join her people. My mom's belief that I am not of this world set us up with a very nice day... until of course I didn't have answers to her questions - she believes that I should know everything because I'm one of "them."
When we got home we had lunch and hung around in the yard. My mom sat and watched whatever her hallucinations were showing her. Later, she said to me, "they're burying your dad, he died. Do you know that he's dead?"
Confused, I attempted to reason with my mom and tel her that my dad died 31 years ago (yesterday was the 31 year anniversary of his passing.)
"Nope. He just died, they are burying him in the back yard." She said to me with conviction in her voice.
Her obsession with the burial that she was witnessing in her mind caused her to pace. Her blood pressure went up as she crossed the line into crazy land. She paced through the house, going from window to window to see if she could see what was going on outside... what "they" were up to in the yard. She insisted that she was watching them bury my dad and that Savita the Cat knew that a funeral was being performed in our yard.
"See her laying over there, she's so sad." My mom said to me and my husband on 2 separate occasions. She believed what she was seeing, it was real to her. I will never get used to her hallucinations. I do try to explain them to her because she wants to understand what they are doing and why. I've had ceremonies to banish bitches and call an imaginary Dream Master, all in an attempt to divert my mom's attention to something else. At times it works, other times not so much. Acupuncture however, does the trick, it stops the insanity.
In an attempt to turn her focus from her hallucinations, I enticed her to come into the pool and help me clean it. Her job was to use the hand held net thingy and pick the pine needles off the top of the water as the wind blew them into the pool. I vacuumed. My mom had a great time helping, she loved her new job. Together we cleaned the pool and she stopped looking for the burial ceremony. This morning she even said, "We had such a good time yesterday, I love my new job."
Once we were out of the pool and I went inside to prepare dinner, my mom sat on the deck and stared into the yard. Eyes filling with tears, she began to witness her father's burial. She thinks of death a lot, telling me that she has one angel wing and will get her second one soon. She told me that she's going to haunt me when she dies.
I am waiting for Monday. We see Dr. Barton in the afternoon for another Acupuncture treatment with another scheduled for Friday. I'm looking forward to talking to my mom again. I'm looking forward to watching a stupid movie with her early on Sunday mornings when everyone is still sleeping. I'm looking forward to having time with my mom. I'm looking forward to the freedom that Acupuncture gives my husband and me, freedom to leave the house for a few hours and know that everything is OK at home.
I'll see the first friends that I had made in school and some friends that I had made during my first 12 years of education. I'm looking forward to seeing every one, it's been decades.
Tomorrow is Sunday and Amy is coming over to spend a few hours with Gram. I love seeing Amy. It's awesome to have her back in our lives again. I missed her a lot.
With the weekend covered, it won't be long before Monday is here and my mom has Acupuncture again. I'm waiting for Monday, but in the meantime, I'm happy and enjoying the peace that I'm creating in my life.