Love NOW... It's All That Matters

It's been a long time since my dad was alive and breathing above ground.  Who knows what becomes of any of us after death... I like to believe that Dad's spirit is still alive, watching over us.  Hey, I see the signs he places for me to see, it's got to be true!

My dad had a lot of wisdom, even if he did drop out of school in ninth grade.  Maybe his dropping out of school contributed to his wisdom?  Dad was wise, he died too young at 49 from pancreatic cancer.  His life ending too quickly.  He went back to school in 1970, got his GED and an Associates Degree.  He was proud.  We were all proud.

During the 18 + years that I was able to spend with my dad, he taught me invaluable lessons.  The one lesson that he harped on was family.  He believed and preached to his children to stick together like a proverbial broken record. 

My dad worried about his family and what would become of us after he passed.  He knew he was dying, his time on Earth was coming to an end.  "stick together!" he would say, "your family are your only true friends."

Who knew?

I come from a good sized Polish and Italian family.  Our Polish side was the family we spent our time with, our mom's dad was dead and her mother and sister where institutionalized for mental illness. 

Looking back, I am starting to understand that all those trips to Harold Parker on Sunday to go mushroom picking, were designed to help build our committment to eachother, to family.  No wonder I loved those walks in the woods with my dad, bringing Baci my brown bag of wild mushrooms to sort and looking for button mushrooms with my mom, she only liked a certain type of wild mushroom.  We had fun.

During my walks in the woods with my dad he would talk about his neice and nephews.  He loved his nephews and neice very much, but worried that they would be separated over their parents passing.  Fighting.  Squabbling.  Bickering.  All things my dad did not want to happen with his children. 

"Susie" he would say, "I don't want you kids to fight like my sister's kids... I want you to understand that your family are your only true friends.  We will love you no matter what.  Your family will love you if you do stupid things in life... they are the only ones who really care about you.  You need to stick together.  Don't be like your cousins."

I listened to my dad, like I always did, but this day, as we walked in the woods, he had a sense of urgency in the tone of his voice.  His biggest fear was to have his kids separated and arguing.  He didn't like it in his nephews and neice but didn't know what to do to stop it.

My dad, he made me believe that our family was different, that we were leaders. 

I believed him.

30 + years have passed since my walk in the woods with dad.  I never forgot the lesson that he taught that day.  It's the main reason I got so nuts about my family staying away.  I remembered what dad had told me, I remembered his biggest fear about his kids and I took it as a personal challenge to keep my family together.

Forgiveness

Families all have their troubles, it's why we need to stick together.  Family helps ease the pain of sadness from something or a major life event.  Family gives us a sense of community and a feeling of belonging to something.  Humans need eachother, period.  I don't care who you are, you will need your family at one time or another.  If you don't have one, you will know the pain of being alone ... it sucks.

We need to forgive eachother, especially family members.  Old shit like resentment from a past deed is the past, let it go.  It's this old stuff that my dad talked about which he believed to be the poison which destroys families, families that need to stick together in order to get through the tough times.

Now is all that matters. 

My dad often said to me, "Susie, NOW is all that matters.  Yesterday is history, you can't do anything about it.  Tomorrow hasn't happened, it may never happen, we could all die before it gets here.  Live for right NOW because you know it exists.  It's now.  Live."

Years after my dad imparted his wisdom on me, I remember his NOW talk as though it was a recent memory.  I've lived these words of his, especially when everything in my life seemed to suck out loud.  Living in the moment does more than bring inner peace, it also brings with it gifts that would otherwise be lost.  When we stop and smell the flowers of life, we take the opportunity to see what's around us.  Often, we are given gifts from the Universe, signs from above that will bring love and peace. 

Love NOW opens doors.

It all begins with us, each of us.  We can chose to close our hearts and cast stones of blame, but what good does it do?  It causes us to live in the past and fester resentment and hurt.  The only one who really suffers is YOU, the pig headed stubborn moron.  We are all a pigheaded moron at one time or another, it just depends if you want to always be that moron.  Do you?  Remember, who cares... your family will always love you even if you are a jerk sometimes.

Turn the other cheek.  Let go.  Let Love.  Love now, it's all that matters.