Auggie's Lesson to Little Josie: Think First, Then Speak

Growing up, my mom always told me stories about what she could remember about her family.  I always asked her questions, mostly because I wanted to know my entire family.  I got to know the Polish side very well, but not the Italian side, my mom's side of the family.

One of the stories my mom told me was the one about her oldest brother, Auggie.  She loved Auggie, he was 7 years her senior.  My mom worshiped the ground that Auggie walked, she adored him. 

Auggie, like so many young men in the 1940's, enlisted into the U.S. Military to serve our country.  Patriotism was running rampant across America; still high on the success of World War I, many boys couldn't wait to get to war themselves. 

World War II... Wooo Hooo! 

When Auggie had a furlow to come home, he talked to my mom about all sorts of things, mostly the places that he had visited.  He seemed so much wiser to young Jo.  Auggie had been gone to far away lands that my mom only learned about in school. 

During this visit, Auggie said to my mom, "Josie, always think before you speak.  You can never take your words back.  Words cut like a knife.  Think first, then speak."

God bless my little mother, she tried to teach this lesson to me over and over again.  All through out my life she reminded me of her brother Auggie and the last words he spoke to her before he went off to war and stepped on a landmine. 

I didn't learn the lesson then... have I now? 

My tongue can be devilishly sharp.  When I don't think before I speak, when I just let whatever is on my mind fly out of my mouth, it hurts.  Not only does it hurt me but the person that is getting the tongue lashing from me.  It's not right, it's so wrong that just thinking of the people who I've lashed out in my past... man, what an asshole.  I'm so sorry.

I'm VERY SORRY to all the people I've offended in my lifetime.

These words are probably too late for some people.  Like my Uncle Auggie taught my mom and what my mom attempted to teach me, words can not be taken back.  Once the horse is out of the barn, it's out of the barn. 

The secret is to keep the lips shut, think first and then speak.

I never met my Uncle Auggie, obviously... he died when my mom was 14.  My Grandmother didn't want him to go to war.  She hid his uniform.  My mom saw where her mom hid his uniform. 

It was time for Auggie to leave to go back and fly off to France to fight.  He couldn't find his uniform.  He was crying and begging his mom to give him his uniform.  She ignored him.  Probably like my mom does to me these days. 

My mom felt so badly that she went and got Auggie his uniform.  She didn't want to see him cry.  She wanted to see her brother happy.  She gave him his uniform.

Auggie was so happy to see his uniform.  He would have gotten into a lot of trouble without it, that's what he told my mom.  He was so grateful to his little sister Jo.  My Gram didn't care, she was trying to keep him alive by hidding his uniform; she had a premonition.

Often, for reasons that make total sense to us at the time we find ourselves using logic in order to convince ourselves that certain things are OK just because it backs up something that we believe to be true.  Just as I have been working on my personal problem of not thinking before I speak, sometimes I find myself making some logical connection in my brain that makes me feel that spewing is justified.  I spewed today... it felt justified, at the time.

I cried.  I cried.  I cried. 

Today I remembered Uncle Auggie's lesson to my mom, the lesson she really tried to teach me for the last 50 years.  Finally... today... I believe I learned the lesson.  Today, my mom, my little Josie, smiled with a sense of accomplishment painted all over her face.  Why?  She was able to achieve a great feat, help Susie to learn Auggie's Lesson to Little Josie; Think first, then speak.