Damn! Lewy is Back

I never thought I'd say it but I hate Lewy. It turns my mom into a freaked out old lady who is very difficult to manage.

Yesterday my mom was sleepy all morning. I know that Ashwagandha makes one sleepy. My mom wanted less so that she wouldn't be so tired in the morning.

My big question... why the hell did I listen to her when I had a good solution?

Last night I gave her only 5 drops in her blue NYPD shot glass. I knew that we ran the risk of her roaming through the night, but I wanted to honor my mom's request. She's not gone completely, she is still inside her own head, somewhere... somedays, on good days, I see my dear mom. Today however, isn't one of those days. Oh well.

At 4am this morning I heard noises, creeks from the loose floor boards above our bedroom, our cheap version of a "mom with dementia is roaming" alarm. I ran upstairs as quiet as I could so that I didn't wake up Brian. We really do need to fix the creeks in the floor.

Once at the top of the stairs I saw my mom, wild eyed, worried about people in her bed. I assured her that there were no other people in the house as we walked back to her bedroom. Rachel was up, standing in the hallway, confused and not sure what to do for my mom. Rachel had a look of relief come over her face when she saw me helping mom back to bed.

In my mom's room she stopped as we got into the room, "I can't get in that bed, there are people, see them?"

Again I assured her that there are no people in her bed. I fluffed her pillows, showing her that the pillows are pillows. I made her bed look inviting. She crawled back in. I told her to sleep for 2 more hours. In hindsight, I should have told her to sleep for 4 more hours. I'm such a rookie with Lewy.

6 am... creek, creek, squeek... my mom was up.

I bolted up the stairs again to see my wild eyed mom all freaked out.

"My pocketbook! They took my pocketbook! My shoes are gone too. They are taking everything!"

Oh joy... Happy Saturday Susie, your time in dreamland is over.

My mom, when Lewy has taken over, has no volume control. She talks loudly, which echoes through the hall and down the stairs into our bedroom. She's frightened and nervous.

Again I found myself walking into her bedroom, my mom apprehensive to walk into her bedroom first as she repeatedly told me that the people are taking her things and that she can't stay here. I asked her where she's going to go and reminded her that this is her home. She told me she didn't know where she was going but she was getting out of here.

Alrighty then... I've learned that there is no arguing with a crazy person so I let it all go and began searching for her "stolen" purse and shoes. First I turned on a few lights and found her shoes on the floor next to her bed on the opposite side that she sleeps. Next, I found her purse sitting on her night stand beside her bed.

Mom was freaked out about the little girl and little boy. She is convinced that they exist. Oiy!

I reached into her pill box and pulled out the bottle of Helleborus Niger 30C. "Here Ma, take 4 and put them under your tongue", I said to her with my most cheery and patient voice.

Ma's reply, "NO! I don't want it."

"Why not? It will chase the people away." I said.

"How do you know that?" She replied.

"Because, every time you take them, the people go away. You really need to trust me on this one."

I began to open the bottle and she said, "Oh, the candies... you didn't tell me that you were giving me the candies." So, she put the homeopathic pellets under her tongue.

The people disappeared but her confusion is still there. I did learn today that she hates the word CONFUSED. Hey, I thought it was better than telling her that she lost her f'ing mind!

My mom is anxiously waiting for Donna to take her out. She's been waiting 2 weeks for her, actually longer than 2 weeks. Donna called her a couple of weeks ago and told her that she was taking her to Bingo tomorrow. All morning she believed that Donna is coming today. I wish she were coming today, maybe she will?

I gave my mom 5 drops of Chinese Ginseng in her coffee this morning. It seems to put her in a happy place. She doesn't seem so agitated now. Maybe Lewy is retreating for awhile?

What did I do wrong last night?

First, I only gave Ma 5 drops instead of 8 drops of Ashwagandha. My next mistake was allowing her to watch "Ugly Betty" before bed instead of turning the TV to "ting-a-ling" music station. I also didn't give her Reiki and hypnosis with suggestions that keep her from becoming frightened in the dark of night.

Why did I change the routine? Beats the hell out of me. My mom wanted to watch TV, "Ugly Betty" so she did.

After all, she's still my mother, which she always seems to remember even when Lewy is rearing it's ugly face. The worst phrase I hear out of her mouth when I don't give her what she wants is, "Susie, I'm still your mother!" God, I'd love to sass her back but it only makes Lewy worse.

Hmmm, I wonder if it's a sin if I think all the things that I want to say back to her?