I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

23 March 2011

Overcoming Grief

The Re-Enactment of the day that Ed died
white water rafting
June 30, 2001
Grief... we all experience it at one time in our lives.  We are born, we live and we die.  It's the way life works, it's cyclical and there's nothing that we can do to stop the inevitable; death.

It does hurt when someone that we love expires, emotional pain tends to linger.  Grief can take over our lives, bringing more sadness and physical pain.  We can become trapped in a prison within our minds, forgetting that we are still alive.  It's up to us to let the person go, we have the power within our minds.

Life.  It's for the living.  

It's healthy to grieve, but how long is long enough?  Why do we grieve?  Does our ego play a role?  The person we miss is no longer, nothing matters to that person, it only matters to us.  Our ego causes us to focus on our self, after all, we are the only ones that we know truly exists; it's always been about us.  What about me?  We always seem to relate to things in life based on how it will effect us.

As a Care Giver for my mom with a terminal illness, I know that she's going to die.  I'm preparing myself for the day that my mom leaves this Earth.   Happy memories with my mom throughout my life are helping me to let my mom go.

I think about death differently than most, thanks to my father and his infinite wisdom.  My dad taught me at a young age that when we die, it's not the end of our essence.  Life is energy and energy, it can never be destroyed.  Energy is transformed when life ends, it morphs into a new form.

Where did they go?  Where will we go?

Memories and thoughts are real.  We can relive experiences both good and not so good; memories can transport us back in time.  Thoughts propel us into the future, creating more memories.  Memories that last and can bring us back to happier moments in our short lives.

To me, the living people in our lives, matter more than the dead; we still have time to enjoy each others company.  Once we are dead... we're dead.

Our minds can help us to overcome grief, it's how we chose to think about the loss of a loved one that really matters to our personal happiness.

My loved ones who have passed, I believe that they are around me.  Memories keep them alive and well in my heart.  I have learned that the one thing that truly matters is spending time with folks when they are alive, because once someone dies, it's over; no more memories can be created for future recall.

Memories bring peace to the survivors.

I'm a Care Giver.  I have memories that will keep my mom alive long after she's gone.  No regrets.  No reason to cry because the essence that is my mom can not be destroyed.  Just like my grandmother, my dad and my brother... they still exist in my heart, memories keep them alive.

What memories are you making today with the people in your life that you care about?


  1. Most of my grief comes from a memory parked in a crevice of my brain. Baseball games make me miss sitting in the back yard watching the Sox with dad, the smell of my car, previous owner definately had a good stash reminds me of Ed and I living at Lloyd St. But seeing someone on a Motorcycle brings the image of two cops breaking the news, Identifying Ilene over the phone by her tattoo and the video screen images of the accident recreation photos where I knew the blue tarp in the background was her and if the car she hit had that much damage what the hell did she feel?

  2. It's your choice to hang on to the grief or let it go.

    The point that I was making is to focus on the positive and happy memories; it will set you free to live with the living and make new memories.

  3. I am terrible with grief. I can never simply grieve. I hold it in, turn it into physical... I have Loved Ones who grieving came easy and others I have "postponed."

  4. Missy... letting go of grief is liberating. You owe it to yourself and the people that you love that are still alive.