It's a Beautiful Mess

I was up early as usual.  Not because I love waking at 4am, it's just that we have a cat, Sammy Mammy, who loves to be up and out at the crack of dawn.   It's a bit of a twist, instead of my mom waking me, it's the cat. 

This morning, my mom woke up and came out to the sunroom where I sit and write, she appeared in a good mental state, she was cheery.  "Good morning!" she exclaimed.

I proceeded to follow our daily routine.  First I check her blood pressure and blood sugar, recording the readings in a notebook.  Next, she begins taking her supplements, thyroid supplement first and then all the others that she takes in the morning.  Finishing up with a bowl of oatmeal with a tablespoon of Choline (soy lecithin.)

Today, she sat and looked out the window from the easy chair in the sunroom.  Suddenly, she busted out crying! 

"Ma, what is wrong?" I said to her with concern in my voice.

She whisphered like she was in a church or some other sacred place, "I see God.  He's coming down from Heaven.  Wow.  What does it mean?  Am I dying?"  My mom cried.

"Susie, what does it mean?  Am I going to die?" She asked me with fear in her voice.

"We'll all die eventually Ma.  I'm sure what you saw is God telling you that you are doing great and that you will feel better and better every day.  Remember how the Infant of Prague floated above your bed when you were a little girl, after your dad had died?  Remember how you always told me that you believed the Christ child was protecting you throughout your life?  Well, now God is telling you that he's protecting you now and that you will live a healthy rest of your life."  I began to attempt to make sense of my mom's hallucination of God.  It appeared to do the trick, she remembers the vision she had as a child of the floating Infant Jesus.

We went out to the market to buy a few groceries for lunch and dinner.  My mom loves going to the market, shopping for food has always been her favorite activity.  We looked at the monkey in the banannas, it didn't blink, it didn't move... yay!  Our shopping trip was enjoyable.

On the drive home I had my mp3 player hooked up to my truck stereo with songs that I know are soothing for my mom.  Songs that we can sing a long, songs that make my mom dance in her seat.  Songs that I hope will help to lower her blood pressure and reduce her hallucinations.

Jason Mraz came on with his song, "It's a Beautiful Mess."  All of a sudden I look over and my mom is sobbing as she says, "This song, it's so beautiful.  It makes me cry.  I'm happy and I'm sad."

"Ma!  Are you OK?  Do you want me to shut off the song?" I asked.

"No.  I love this song.  Will you play it again?"  She asked.

All the way home I played this song over and over again.  When we got home she put on her mp3 player headphones and began singing around the house and back yard, asking me to replay the song, over and over... she's still listening to it, humming and singing out of tune.  What a beautiful sound, the out of tune singing of my dear demented mother.

To hear the song or read the lyrics, you can go here - http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jasonmraz/abeautifulmess.html