19 October 2010
Like a Box of Chocolates
I often wonder if the heat of the summer and the hot sun caused this chain reaction to wake up the Lewy Bodies in her brain. The summer was difficult, she always seemed to get totally wacked out when she would go outside and sit in the sun. Even just 5 minutes in the sun, sent her into a different dimension, a place between worlds where the deceased are alive.
My mom's attitude and mood through out the summer was like riding a roller coaster. Hallucinations frightened her and made her blood pressure rise. She was a complete basket case some days; creating way more stress in my own life to the point of my becoming an insomniac.
Every day, regardless how much celery that my mom eats, seems to be a crap shoot. Her mental state of being is definitely tied to her blood pressure and her blood sugar. It's a balance of food that is helping to lower her blood pressure. I'm vigilant. It's tiring. In the end, it's better for my mom because she's getting her nutrition, she's feeding her brain instead of masking things up with drugs. I'm also keeping myself loaded with nutrients in an attempt to defend the free radicals being created from my stress levels.
I know that chances are good that we won't cure my mom, even though I do have a dream that she is whole and well; something inside of me won't let me give up hope on a cure. I do believe that where there's hope, there's a solution... I can't give up.
I am taking each day like one of those discounted assorted boxes of chocolates that didn't come with a guide of which is which... one chocolate day at a time. Some days are great and other days it's like getting one of those chocolates that tastes nasty; making the days when I get my favorite chocolate better than ever.
I vow to enjoy the good days, just like a box of chocolates, one chocolate at a time.