The weekend was super intense, mostly because my mom seems to have notched down further into the grasp of Lewy. Her blood pressure is out of sight. Celery helps, but she's getting sick of chewing on this greatest of great medicinal plants that lowers her blood pressure faster than any pharmaceutical drug. I ordered celery extract, it should help cut down on how much celery my mom needs to eat.
High blood pressure is scary. Taking her to an Emergency Room is even scarier, speaking from our experience from less than a month ago. The hospital had trouble keeping her blood pressure down; drugs didn't work. Celery, it does so we are keeping her home, helping her to remain calm.
Lewy is marching forward, taking control of her major organs. My mom is scared. Yesterday in gibberish she prayed and kept saying, "Oh please dear God, help me." Those were the only words that I could understand out of her mouth. I remained calm... how? Not sure.
Today she asked me, "Am I dying?"
"Well, ya.... we are all dying. If you die, it will be OK. Don't be scared, you have everyone around you. Dad and Ed, your sister and brother, your mother and your father... everyone will be there to greet you and make it easy for you. I'll help you from this side. You will be OK, Ma. If you want to go, it's ok. I love you Ma." I said to her this morning, answering her question about dying.
My mom is scared to die. She's frightened most days lately. Hallucinations are more intense, they tend to get this way when her blood pressure goes up. Pressure that is rising because Lewy Bodies is attacking the hearts ability to regulate pressure.
We are in a new phase of her illness, phases that come with no warning. It's time to batten down the hatches, a storm named Lewy is making it's way through our lives again.
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Oh this is heartbreaking! She is coherent enough to pray and to ask God to help her, and she is so afraid of dying. Her dementia is not deep enough to protect her from pain and fear, so she is caught in the middle.
ReplyDeleteI fear you are in for some really rocky times ahead, my friend.
Oh Mellodee... yes it is heartbreaking!
ReplyDeleteLewy Bodies is a disease that one minute they are cognizant and within minutes they are babbling idiots. The autonomic system is attacked by Lewy Bodies, causing all sorts of weirdness - high blood pressure, high blood sugar and sleep disturbances.
It's getting harder and I fear that one day soon I'll have to put her in a nursing facility. Breaks my heart.
I'm in the process of preparing for the day she needs to move to a facility; it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I'm grateful for my cousin Maryann who's been a great support and helpful with making plans to have my mom placed in a nursing facility.
In the meantime, I'll do everything that I can until I just can't do anything more.
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