The last 2 days with my mom have been filled with hallucinations. Yesterday's hallucinations were scary for her. She sat and cried when she thought she saw my dead brother Ed getting beat up by the hallucinations that were part of a mafia mob. I assured her that the hallucinations were just messing with her and attempting to get to me through her.
I explained to my mom how these bad spirits know that the only way that they can get my attention is by driving my mom mad. These spirits are lost and it's the only way that they know how to be noticed. They want to go to Heaven but have been stuck in Purgatory for so long they don't know how to be nice.
"Ed's OK Ma, these spirits don't mean to scare you, it's all they know how to do. They are depending on us to help them get on the bus to Heaven. Ignore the scariness, OK?' I said to my mom in an attempt to put her mind at ease. It seemed to work.
"Don't leave me. Stay right by my side, OK?' My mom asked.
These days I find myself walking into empty rooms bellowing commands, "Get OUT! All of you people need to get the hell out of here! You are supposed to wait out in the yard. LEAVE JO ALONE!"
My mom always close behind me, watching and listening. She seems to breath a sigh of relief as she says, "How do you do it? How do you get them to leave?"
"Oh, you know who I am Ma, you know I have the power to banish the bad spirits. They should not be here. I will call Dream Master if they keep coming." I find myself repeating this explanation, it seems to put her mind at ease, even if it's only for a short time.
Hallucinations keep her from using her bathroom, fortunately she tells me and I chase them away before she makes a mess in her pants.
These days, my mom is having wild hallucinations. I wonder if she's worried about going to Adult Day Healthcare. She's going tomorrow and Wednesday with Cheryl. We hope that by having Cheryl go along with her that she will acclimate to the program and warm up to the staff. She already thinks the Nurse Director looks like Sister Francis, a nun that she loved from First Grade.
Today we have a case worker coming from the state to see what help is available to us so that my mom can live at home. I know that there will come a time when my mom needs a nursing facility, there are times now that I feel she needs to be in one. Before we do commit her, I do want to exhaust all of our options to keep her home. She sleeps through the night when her mind is at ease, when she is comfortable in a routine, she sleeps well.
Wild hallucinations come and go. Sometimes food triggers them, sometimes a change in routine causes them to take center stage in our lives. We get through them. I make up stories; the more wild the story, the more she believes and her mind is put atease.