I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

05 August 2010

Today I am 50

It's my 50th birthday.  I expected it to be a grand day, a day where I didn't have to take care of my crazy mother.

It didn't happen.  I should have planned for it instead of expecting others to step in and sue-prise me.  I suppose I expected a miracle.  I made an assumption.

On my birthday today I learned something, if I want something I need to speak up.  I can't expect to be surprised.  I have to do things for myself where my demented mother is concerned, only another Care Giver would know what to do for a fellow Care Giver on her birthday.

The best present anyone could have given me today would have been to take my mom for the day.  It seemed like an obvious gift that could have been given to me, today of all days... but, no such luck.   It's all I really wanted for my birthday.  I wanted a day away to spend it with my husband.  I rarely get to spend time with him.

It didn't happen.  Even birthday's don't magically give Care Giver's a day off, a special day off.  Today is the first day in my life that I've had to work.  I have never worked on my birthday.  Care Giving is a different job, I can't call in well, I can't even call in sick!

So... I'll make the best of today.  I will go and buy myself some lobster, cook it up and eat it until I can't eat another bite.  My mom will be with me all day.  I hope she has a good day.  I am praying for a good day.

I do hope my mom has a better day than the last couple of days.  Yesterday she got mad at our Visiting Angel; my mom wanted to go home... she was already home.  My mom got angry with Cheryl, the way she gets with me when I don't let her do what she wants to do... things that are dangerous, like roaming the streets looking for a home from her past 81 years of life.  A home that she'll never find.

Today is my 50th birthday.  Whoopee.  Big deal... no one really cares... except of course me.  My mom didn't remember... I was totally demented in my thinking, my expectations became my reality.  My unrealistic expectations gave me a gift of disappointment.  Nothing special on the day.. I am all about the day.

I was woken to a squeaky floor and my mom fully dressed; it always starts my day off poorly when I see her ready to head out the door before I've opened my eyes.  Our day is off to a rocky start, it could go either way.

I need to find happiness inside of myself, it's the only thing that I can do to salvage the day.  I suppose 50 years ago my mom was not having a good day when she went into labor, allowing for my debut on Earth as Susan Helen Jarmulowicz.

All I can say is payback is a bitch... today I am 50.


  1. Happy Birthday dear friend. Today is a wonderful milestone. The journey may not always be easy but we're still trucking along!

    I hope you have a beautiful day!!!!

  2. I said it on Facebook, but I'm going to say it again here: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!

    I had my apprehensions about turning 50 in 2001, but now that i'm looking 60 in the face, I can tell you my 50s have been the best!

    Have a great day, sweetie!

  3. By the way, do something good for yourself this evening. Once your mother is in bed, take a long bath, drink some wine, listen to music, whatever you can manage. If I lived nearer I'd watch your mom for you. I know how hard it is being a caregiver. Hang in there. We're with you.

  4. Thank you! My day is way better than I could have imagined. my family... They didn't forget me. I lve them all. Especially my husband. My mom... She was there when I took my first breath, she deserves to be with me today. It's all perfect. My brother and his wife... They made me sob over there gift... A weekend away!

  5. Happy Birthday Sue! I wish you happiness and peace today! I listen to what you say!

    Sorry for not replying to your email but I am having problems with my email. I may have it fixed and will try to reply today or tomorrow.

    Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Enjoy the weekend away!!

  6. Happy Birthday!!!! I hope you have a wonderful Birthday - you deserve it.

  7. Thank you everyone for all of your birthday wishes... it worked! My day was awesome.

    Sorry I didn't say that in time but better later than never...
    I've had several technical etc. issues lately, been sitting here and trying to solve the problems. One solved today. Wasn't me, it was a server problem.

    Have a great day! :) I continue blog hopping!