That's the Problem! All the Dead People Are Taking the Jobs...

My mom made it through her second week at an Adult Day Health Program.  She likes it and hates it.

Yesterday she hated it, she was disappointed that they didn't do "school work" and were "forced" to watch a movie.  My mom was mad because they wouldn't let her leave; she came home and screamed, "I'm not going again!"

On the ride to the Center, my mom thought she saw Ed, my dead brother.  She wanted Cheryl to stop and come back home because she believed that Ed was here, she needed to see him.

Cheryl wouldn't turn around, she told my mom that they were expecting them at school.  My mom, she was not happy and this was the start of a bad day for her.  She was annoyed and agitated.

She wouldn't eat her lunch that I had made, she came home and told me that it was terrible.  She even told me while Cheryl was still here, "I like her better than my mother (me) ... come here..." My mom reached out to Cheryl and gave her a hug.  Clearly my mom was attempting to hurt my feelings, she is mad that I make her go to ADH.

How'd I react to this?  I laughed.  I laughed and laughed.  My mom told me that she was moving, that she was getting her own place.  I told her that I'd help her find a place and I'd pack her bags.  I also assured her that moving somewhere else is exactly what I want.  Yay!

"Super, do they have nurses in the place where you want to live?  The place that your friend at the center told you about, does it have nurses on staff?  If so, I'll put in an application for you and we can begin to pack your bags."  I was excited talking to my mom, mostly because the thought of her leaving was like eating a spoon of fine chocolate.

"Well, I changed my mind.  I'm staying."  My mom answered back.  Mom she was mad, she was mad that she has no control over her life.  Whatever I say, she wants the opposite, just like a two year old vying for her independence.

"I know, I'll live with Cheryl."  My mom glanced back at me as though she had the answer.

"Well, that's not going to work out Ma.  Cheryl has a husband and a son that she needs to take care of."  I explained.

"Well, she can get rid of him and let me move in."  My mom answered back with a smile.

We laughed.

My mom, she thinks she's more capable, probably because her physical health is better than it's been in decades.  She sees my MIL go out in her car, driving, something that my mom wants to do badly.  Losing her ability to drive has been a bone of contention with her; driving was a symbol of freedom and control.

"Ma!  You have plenty of time to spend with all of your friends in spirit when you are dead.  Please, now is the time for you to live with all of us that are alive.  I choose to be here with the living.  Enjoying folks that are alive is why we come to Earth in a body."  I attempted to reason with her.  I am frustrated, mostly because I'm tired of talking about dead people.

"Tell me something."  My mom continued, not hearing a word that I had just said.  "What job does Eddie have?  I saw him driving in a truck and he waved to me."  My mom believes she saw Ed yesterday morning, she believed that he was going to work.

"Ma, think about it... if all the dead people had jobs, there would be NO jobs at all for those of us alive.  As it is there are few jobs out there these days for the living."  Again I attempted to reason with my mom, once more she didn't hear me.

"That's the problem!  All the dead people are taking the jobs."  Cheryl pipped up.  We laughed, my mom she didn't, she didn't like my answer, she didn't acknowledge Cheryl's remark... she wanted a story that would validate her hallucination.