"Who?" I asked
"The little boy, my son! I found my son!" She continued, happily.
A short time before my mom "found her son", I had wanted to take her out shopping. A little trip to a store on a weekend day always helps us to have a good afternoon. She likes to go out every day, especially on the weekend.
My mom didn't want to go when I was ready to go, she had other plans.
"They're about ready to show me something she whispered, please, I can't go yet. It's something big that they are about to reveal to me." She explained to me. It made no sense, but it did to her so I agreed and went inside to make some Zucchini Fritters (previous post.)
Mom was sitting on the patio. I worry about her sitting in the sun, it always seems to bring on a Lewy episode where she forgets how to do the simplest things, like standing or getting into a car. She wouldn't come in. I knew we ran the risk of an episode but I also knew that if I pulled her away from her "friends" she would absolutely tail spin, making the day unpleasant for anyone near her.
"Sure, Ma. He can live with us." I replied.
"Well, I know he doesn't eat our food, he isn't much trouble." She continued as though I hadn't already said yes to her request.
"No problem. He can live with us. What is his name? Who is he?" I asked again.
"He's my son. My baby. The one that died. He was in Purgatory... HE FOUND ME!" My mom was thrilled. It as as though a guilt that she carried for 51 years had been lifted. She was over joyed to have him near her, she missed him all those years. He was born dead.
"What's his name?" I asked again.
"I don't know." She said to me.
"Well, don't you think we should give him the name that you and dad picked out for him? What were you going to name him?" I asked my mom.
"Martin." She said.
"That's not going to work as a name for him, you gave that name to Marty, my brother that is alive. It would be confusing to have two brothers named Martin." I attempted to reason with her.
"You're right. Hmmmm. What is his name? What do I want to name him?" She began to drift off in her mind, searching for an appropriate name for the handsome 4 year old boy with blonde hair and big blue eyes that she believes is her long lost son.
"How about naming him Denisio after your dad since Marty was named after Dad's father?" I offered a suggestion.
"No. I don't think he'd like Denisio, it's too foreign. How about Dennis? His name is Dennis." My mom smiled, she had her son and she was able to give him a name.
Dennis is real to my mom. I learned that going along with her hallucinations is the best route. She believes what she sees. How do I know she isn't really seeing what she's seeing? Validating her beliefs helps to keep her from becoming agitated. Whatever I can do to keep her calm helps keep away the scary hallucinations.
I've told her that Dennis catches the bus that comes everyday at 4:30. He rides Heaven's bus with my dad and my brother Ed; he helps the lost children in Purgatory find their way home to their families in Heaven.
My mom is happy. She believes that her job is to save the children and reunite them with their moms in Heaven. She feels that she has a purpose; we all need a sense of purpose. Dennis is back, her little boy. Last night she said to me, "I am so happy, my entire family is together. I'm happy that Dennis found me, my little boy."
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thats interesting that you said that. when my grandfather was out in the sun, i used to see that same effect on him.
ReplyDeleteBit by bit, her illness is giving her back the people she loves, but lost. In some ways, that's a gift. The "good" hallucinations are giving her joy. Most of us would give almost anything to have our loved ones back. Keeping her as healthy as you can is what is giving her these good hallucinations. I can't tell you how much I admire what you're doing, even though I know how difficult it can be.
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