17 August 2010
All For One Reason... The Power of Love
It's as though we are in a new phase of her illness, Lewy Bodies Dementia. More and more her symptoms are in line with the symptoms of a neurological disorder that is very common but often misdiagnosed. Doctor's don't know much about the disease, the folks with it are usually classified as Alzheimer's sufferers. I write about my observations with my mom who I believe has this dreaded mental illness. I hope that one day someone, a researcher or a student finds my writing and can take it to a new level.
My mom's wish is to help others to learn from her illnesses and what we have done to provide her the best days we can before her end day.
I found that validating her hallucinations keeps her from becoming agitated. She loves seeing my dead brother Ed and my dad. Most recent, she loves having her baby with her, the one that was still born, a baby she carried full term and never got to cuddle. Losing her boy made her sad.
When I was a little girl my parents often told me that I was their Sunshine. They told me about my brother who didn't make it and never had a chance to live a happy life. My parents told me that when I was born, I was a ray of sunshine in their lives. It always made me feel happy, that I could make my parents happy. Approval, it's all we really want from anyone.
My mom needs approval with her hallucinations. I give it to her. I go along with her hallucinations. She will throw out a sentence or a question about what she's seeing and I take it from there, forming a story that she finds believable. A story that has now taken on a life of its own.
I have learned, it's easier to care for my mom when I go along with what she is seeing. She believes that I can see them too. I have them "tell me things" so that she will do what I need her to do.
It is sad to see ones parent in a state of confusion, hallucinating or frightened. But, it is possible to guide them to a happy place in their reality. Join their world... be creative. I do.. Every day I feel like I'm on stage, performing the performance of my life; all for one reason... the power of love.