I found that if I looked at my moms episodes at face value, I would get sucked in and experience a form of my own dementia. Arguing with her about the validity of her hallucinations didn't work out too well, because her power of belief was stronger than the logical reasoning that I was attempting to share with her.
It is tough being a caregiver to a demented parent. There is NO question about this fact; it's probably why so many elders end up in nursing homes. I understand how and why people put their parents in homes.
I also can understand why people do not put their parents in a home when they really should be admitted into a long term care facility.
Personally, I thought about both options, putting mom in a home and trying to find a solution to keep her living in my home with my family and me.
When I thought about putting her in a home I lost sleep at night. I thought about Uncle Al in the nursing home and how he never seems to get enough sleep. He appears out of it most of the time. Visions of the elderly women screaming for me to help them haunted me. I knew I needed to find a solution to keep her home with me.
Patience is absolutely the most important quality that a caregiver needs to practice. It can be extremely difficult when my mom is moving in slow motion and I'm fired up and ready to run a race. But, like the old story of the turtle and the hare, slow and steady wins the race.
Slowly we made changes. I watched my attitude because I noticed that my energy affects my mom.
I looked for answers to solve all of her problems by getting to the root cause.
Fortunately, I believe we found that the solution I am seeking will come out of my kitchen. Through a good gluten free diet, balanced nutrition and exercise, mom will stay home with us.