The last 5 days have been less than perfect with respect to my mom's mental condition. She's not able to manage her own finances and insurance "stuff", so I'm helping her with it. Not a task for the weak at heart. Talking with a demented person about finances and insurance is akin to having your finger nails pulled out with a pair of pliers.
Let me back up to last Monday, my last post.
I picked up Uncle Al on Monday because I hadn't seen him for 4 weeks. He's getting harder to manage by myself with my mom in tow too. He is more demented these days since I haven't been able to feed him the foods everyday that my mom eats. It's sad. Uncle Al believes he's better than he is and doesn't understand how difficult it is for me. He'll probably never understand.
Tuesday was the day that I was taking my mom to the bank to straighten out her accounts. One bank, TD Banknorth charged her overdraft fees of 35 bucks for every bounced check. She bounced checks because around the time of the financial meltdown, she took 2 grand out of her account and had my sister put it in her safe. My mom was afraid the bank would steal her money.
Of course I made attempts to stop her from doing this because I knew that eventually she'd start to bounce checks because she didn't have her cushion in the bank. There was no reasoning with her so I had to just let it go and wait for the inevitable to happen.
It happened. She was overdrawn. She had no idea how it happened. I do, she took her cushion out of the bank and the bank gave her a "complimentary" overdraft protection. Did you know that if you use your TD Banknorth debit card they will approve every transaction even if you don't have enough money in your account. Say you go to the store and spend 3 bucks on a coffee. You have 2 bucks in your account because a deposit you had made didn't register with the bank... you believe you have money in the account and use it. Well, according to the bank you don't. The bank charges you 35 bucks for the "convenience" of not being denied when you are checking out at the store.
Some convenience... in my opinion, it's robbery.
Banks everywhere are making billions of dollars off these damn late fees. They are stealing the money from the very people who gave them the damn bail out. As though we haven't given them enough money, they need to work to get it all! Ok... getting off topic here on a rant.
My mom has been pretty upset with TD Banknorth and believes the bank stole her money and she wants it back.
This brings us back to last Tuesday, the day I took my mom to her former Credit Union. She was upset on the drive to the bank. I think she thought she was going to TD Banknorth, even though she saw that we were going in to her former bank.
Sitting with the Credit Union manager, my mom kept thinking she was at TD Banknorth and she wanted her money back from all the late fees that they had charged her. It was stressful for her. It was at the bank that I saw my mom switch from normal mom to demented mom.
Mom began to hallucinate again after the bank visit. I ran out of Helleborus Niger, a homeopathic remedy to help her with confusion. Damn!
My mom got crazier and crazier as the week went on.
I cried for 2 days. Looking back I believe I cried because I felt defeated. I am exhausted and need a break from my crazy mom. But, my crazy demented mom was back anyway and she didn't know who I was. The man was back, the midgets were back... all of her haunts were back with a vengeance. CRAP!
Crying wasn't helping, it was making me feel worse and in turn, my mom was worse... so I sucked it up and told myself that I had to pull myself together. I noticed that my emotions and mood effect my mom. She's like a damn magnet for emotions. Happy emotions make her happy, stressed out emotions make her super stressed and crazy. This is a true lesson in patience.
I had to end the vicious cycle.
I had run out of helleborus so we needed to make a special trip to the only pharmacy around that sells it. Big time bummer when we got to the store and the pharmacist told me that he was all out of the 30 c strength. Damn! they did had 6c strength so I got it.
Immediately my mom took her 5 pellets and put them under her tongue to dissolve. I told her that she would probably need to take more but we'd play it all by ear. She agreed.
At one point this week I took her to a shoe store and she started to hallucinate in the store! She was seeing monsters come out of the shoes. Man, how do I respond to her monsters?
I gave her more Helleborus.
The more that I gave her, the better she was getting.
That was until I told her that we were going to Maine to visit her grandchildren. She was so confused. She thought she was staying overnight and insisted on taking a clean shirt, her toothbrush and tooth paste with her when she was just going to the hairdresser on Saturday morning.
Finally, it was time to head up to Maine to celebrate my Great Nephew's first birthday. I prepared some food to bring to the party that was gluten free, I wanted to make sure that my mom had food that wouldn't give her the crazies.
It is a long drive up to my nephew's house, just about 2 and a half hour drive one way. We picked up my sister Donna on the way up north and got to the party late, about 1:30pm.
Of course it was awesome seeing everyone. My great nephew didn't disappoint anyone, just 1 year old and he was dancing up a storm. So darn cute. Here's the little guy DANCING on his first birthday ... he just learned how to walk! I wonder if he's a future dance protege?
My mom had a great time visiting with everyone and seeing her little Great Grandson.
We got on the road much later than we had intended. On the drive home my mom fell asleep and then she woke up talking to faces in the trees. I knew at that moment we could potentially be in for a rough night. Donna had no idea, she just laughed thinking that it was funny. It was funny but when it happens at 2am, it's not very funny at all.
My mom was so confused by the time she got home she had no idea where she was. She didn't recognize her home. She didn't recognize me.
After driving for almost 6 hours I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to get home and have a glass of wine. I had eyed the bottle of one of my favorite wines on the shelf and told myself that a glass would be my reward for the long day of driving.
However, things didn't work out the way that I had planned earlier in the day. The bottle stayed on the shelf that night because I needed my wits about me. My mom was in total dementia land.
I came into our bedroom and said to my husband, "Well, we're in for a rough one tonight! I'll need to sleep on the sofa downstairs." Oh well, so much for a night cap of a fine glass of wine with my dear sweet husband.
I was beyond tired at this point; I set myself up on the couch. I gave my mom a Melatonin tablet and within minutes she was snoring gently. The sound of her breathing put me to sleep.
5am Sunday morning.
SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK
I woke up. I stopped and listened to see if the squeaking floor woke her from her sleep. It was silent. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Several minutes pass.
SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK... mumbled voices .... light flips on to the stairwell. I see my mom's feet coming down the stairs. She sees me and is ready to walk off the stairs. I instruct her to hold the railing with both hands and come down slowly. She does. She tells me that she's very tired. I tell her in a calm voice not to worry, everything will be OK and I tucked her in.
I couldn't take the couch anymore so I went upstairs and laid in my bed for a 2 hour nap. I didn't sleep very soundly the night before, mostly because I was worried about my mom.
My mom didn't wake up until 10:30am. I waited in the living room next to her bedroom for her to wake up. I was anxious to see if the Helleborus Niger was starting to kick in and pull her out of her state of confusion as it has so many times before. She woke up and to my delight she was more clear. Yay!
I gave her more helleborus, this time I gave her the water that the Naturopathic doctor told me how to make for her. It was made with the 30c strength Helleborus.
As the day went on, she became more and more clear. She started to laugh at her own insanity. Yay! My mom was on her way back.
When Brian finally woke up I asked him why he was walking on the dining room floor at 5am when he knows the squeaking wakes up my mom. He said, "Well, it wasn't me. It was your mom." He continued, "I was laying in bed and I heard a loud tinkling noise coming from the bathroom. I thought to myself, Sue never leaves the door open. Then, out comes your mom, walking toward the bed, taking a right turn like she would out of her own bathroom. "
Brian got up and lead her down the hall. He turned on the light so that my mom could see where she was going.
Last night, after I gave my mom a little more helleborus water, she came back fully. I told my mom about her wandering in to our bathroom earlier in the morning. She had no memory of it.
Wednesday we finally see a neurologist. We'll get the answers we need so that she feels good all the time. Of course I did some research of my own and I'm beginning to wonder if my mom has narcolepsy. She hallucinates just before she goes to sleep and just upon waking - a symptom of narcolepsy.
Stay tuned, soon we'll know what's going on in little Josie's brain.