05 September 2010
Family, Dementia and Love
I'm writing from experience. I am guilty of yelling, screaming, judging and slamming that big peace door shut on members of my family. When the door slams, it hurts; it's a pain that hits ones core; we are left wondering, what the hell just happened? How can we repair the damage? What can I do?
The act of forgiveness is powerful, it allows us to free ourselves from the pain and the loneliness, we don't want to be alone through out life. Part of the fun is sharing our joys with each other, the folks who have known us through out our time on this planet.
Family matters. It seems to matter more and more the older I get and the more days that I spend with my demented mother. She talks about my dead father and brother as though they are alive, she misses them a lot. All the petty arguments don't exist in her mind, it's all about love in her demented mind.
Love matters. Love creates families and if we can all just rise above our own egos and feel the love, family pain heals. Fences are mended and bonds are tightened. Love rules, love is absolutely the answer. Nothing in life is so important that it should cause a family to implode, especially during a time when we all have dementia because one (two, three, four) person(s) in our family is inflicted.
Love matters. Family matters. Dementia can rip apart families but families can also be united by dementia; it's up to each individual in a family to see the beauty and the blessing in dementia.
To me, dementia reminds me of Lord Shiva, the Guru of all Guru's the creator and the destroyer; it's our choice to either carry the flame of discourse or the fire of love.
Today is a new day, a new beginning... everything is possible with family, we can move mountains together. More than ever I understand why my dad always taught us, "Stick together! Your family are your only true friends." Of course we are... what friend can call us every name in the book and then forget about it because of one thing... family love.
Family... boy am I glad I have a good one, one that I love and one that I know loves me even if they are not liking me very much at any point in time. I will always forgive my family because of love and I do hope that they can forgive me too for the same reason... family LOVE.