I Need to Get to Church!

My mom's brain seems to have been twanged since Thursday when she didn't have a very good day at "school." She became extremely agitated in the afternoon, the way she gets when she eats any food made with wheat gluten or white foods like potatoes.  I don't know if it was the Joseph's pita bread that I used to make her a sandwich or if she sneakily nabbed a sliver of cake.  In any event, my mother was wild when I picked her up.

Mom didn't recognize me.  I tried to put my hand on her back to help guide her out the door but she planted her feet and yelled at me to get my hands off her.  She was mad with everyone, even the aids and nurses.

It sort of started on Wednesday when one of the assistants took my mom to the bathroom.  My mom doesn't need assistance and got angry that someone took her after we told them she was fine by herself.  She believed that the woman would stick her in the ass with a needle so that we could cart her off to a nursing home, her biggest fear, a fear that seems to have surfaced since she visited her brother Al in a home last week.

I knew that once I got her home and gave her a drink of Hyoscyamus Niger her agitation would go away and she'd be more pleasant to be around.  My challenge is getting her to trust the nurses at the program to give her the drink when she is agitated.  Currently, she is paranoid and suspicious of the workers and the nurses and won't eat lunch that I pack for her if the workers put it on a plate for her.  It's really crazy.

The Hyoscyamus worked fast, within 15 minutes my mom was dancing to Frank Sinatra tunes that I put on Pandora Radio as soon as I got in the door.   I wish she'd allow the nurses to give her "the drink."

No more sandwiches for my mother.  I don't want her to start looking for the exits at school to escape.  Once she does "exit seeking" she won't be able to attend the ADH Program, she'll need to go to another where the building is locked down.   The first program she attended was locked down and it seemed to cause more disturbances, she hated it with a passion and lashed out at me more frequently.  I do want to avoid this behavior because it sucks to be on the receiving end of the abuse.

Yesterday was pretty good when we got home from visiting Patricia.  She hallucinated a lot in the afternoon and got angry with me when I couldn't tell her names of the hallucinations or where they had gone.  She appears to hallucinate more when she's left alone, probably because she doesn't know how to entertain herself anymore.  People, like the folks at the program she attends, help to keep her focused on activities so that she isn't seeing her dead friends and relatives.

I played music all afternoon and began dancing spontaneously every so often; it always makes her laugh when I begin dancing slowly from the kitchen and move into the room where she is sitting.  My mom laughed, and before long, she was up dancing and singing along to the music from her days of youthful fun.

My mom was exhausted last night.  Walking up those stairs tired her out.  She fell asleep at 7pm... way too early.

2am... squeak, squeak, squeak.  My mom was up and walking across the squeaky floor boards above my bed to wake me up.

"Ma, it's 2am, it's too early to be awake."  I softly said to her.  I got her to go back to bed.

5:30 am... Sammy the cat was coming to tell me that my mom was awake.  He draped his body across me with a big plop.  He was trying to wake me.  I was woken but I didn't move, I didn't pat him to let him know that he woke me up.  He sighed a few heavy sighs with a purr that got louder and louder.

5:50 am... squeak, squeak, squeak.  My mom was up again, this time I could tell she was dressed because I could hear her shoes clomping and making the squeaks louder.

At the top of the stairs, I saw my mom fully dressed.  She was angry and yelled loudly, shattering the morning silence... "I need to get to church!  We go to church every morning here in this place.  I need a ride!"  My mom was panicking.

I whispered... "Ma, it's not even 6am yet, everyone is sleeping, you'll wake the house...  I think you had a bad dream, we never go to church.  It's OK."

With her outside voice my mom yelled, "I don't give a shit!  I need a ride to church!!"

I calmly got her blue shot glass, filled it with water and added the homeopathic remedy Hyoscyamus, it always calms her agitation.  My mom saw me preparing the remedy and she yelled, "I am not taking that shit!"

I ignored her outburst and handed her the blue shot glass with the remedy.  She drank it with no argument.

She went to her room and sat in her chair.  I put on the taped Ellen Show that I record every day for her, she loves Ellen, she makes her laugh.  I brought her a cup of decaf coffee, her pills and a banana.  She is calm and reasonable.  Our home is back to a normal state and my mom realizes that she was dreaming.  Maybe I need to take her to church tomorrow?

I Won!

If I've said it once, I'll say it as many times as it happens... what a difference a day makes.  I feel like I've won the fight this time with Lewy.  Here's hoping that we can win the battle too!

My mom's blood pressure has been high.  No matter what we give her, her blood pressure remained high.  I thought to myself, I bet something is bothering her.

Last night I asked her, "Gee, shouldn't we be replying to dad's note?"

"Shit on that!" She exclaimed.

"What?!  Why?  What could dad have done to make you so angry?"  I said sympathetically for my dad.

"Oh, he writes all this bullshit, "I love you."  Blah blah blah."  She said with a sad face, one of a scorned woman.

She continued, "He is remarried.  I saw the wedding the woman is so beautiful.  She was dressed all in white."

"Oh Ma, you can only get married on Earth, it's why souls want to be born on Earth, so that they can experience love and marriage like you did with Dad."  I said to her factually.

I continued my explanation, hoping to relax her mind.  "We are all sparks of God and we all go through lifetimes so that we can eventually make it back to the big ball of God where love is all there is.  What you saw is one of the beautiful souls making it back to God, you saw her get her wings so that she can fly back to God!  How lucky are you to get to see that?"

My mom looked at me and smiled as she said, "Well, alright, if that's true then we'll give it another shot."  She drifted off to sleep for the night.

This morning my mom woke up with low blood pressure, near normal.  Her cognition was good.  Better than it had been over the last few weeks.

Witnessing again, high blood pressure makes my mom nuttier than usual.  I figured that when my mom gets mad at my dad, or any hallucination, she lets it stew; she has always stewed on things, never confronting the trouble head on.  Now, hallucinations make her angry, her blood pressure goes up and then all bets are off for any peace.

I began reviewing in my mind what I had given to my mom for food.  I did try giving her a little wheat flour in a pita bread.  It had low carbs with only 8mg for one pita.  Like last year when I discovered the connection between her hallucinations, gluten products and her blood sugar (high readings), she was showing similar behaviors.  Could the gluten in the pita have caused her blood sugar to go up so that she hallucinated about my dad, got upset, her blood pressure rose and she stewed... keeping her blood pressure high.

Hmmmmm.... I'll have to keep my attention on food and it's affects with her behaviors and attitudes.

Yesterday I made Golumpkies; cabbage is known to be good for the brain.  Today, she is way better.  I gave her lots of coconut ice cream yesterday too.

Today is a much better day.  I will call the Alzheimer's Association and see what we can do to give both of us breaks from each other.  I hope I can find a male care giver to give me respite breaks.  My mom loves men.  She's still a flirt even in her 80's.

On Saturday, during the height of my upset, I walked around the yard and gazed on a patch of clover growing in the lawn.  I was praying for a sign that better days are ahead.  Personally I felt so bad that I didn't think life could feel any worse.  I prayed to Mother Mary, my favorite Catholic saint.  I prayed for strength and the courage to get through whatever I have to get through with my mom.  I looked down and to my amazement a 4 leaf clover popped out at me.  I bent down and picked it. I put it in water.  It's still alive in the glass of water on the window sill.  Just like my spirit is still alive, the clover was a symbol to me that better days were ahead.  Mother Mary, she answered my prayer, she gave me my sign.  I love Mary.

Last night, happy with the feeling of peace, I looked down on my nightstand and saw a lottery ticket that I had played a few weeks ago.  I picked it up and said, "Gee wouldn't it be cool if this is a winner?"   My husband picked up his computer and went to the state lottery website.  Long story short, I think I won!

I played my mom's number for 2 days.  I did what one would say "boxed" it and payed a good penny for this chance to win a few extra dollars.  Well, I won!

Twanged!

This weekend was tough.  I knew that I wasn't getting a break from Care Giving; I expected a bad time and sure enough, I got a bad time.

My mom seems to have had her brain "twanged."  She has been hallucinating a lot.  Mostly seeing my dad and my brother.  On Saturday, she believed that she saw my dead brother buried up to his neck in dirt.  He was smiling at her.  She thought she was seeing him "go to Heaven" again.  She cried.

Yesterday, she believed she was with my dad.  She was talking out loud to him and would get mad if I "interrupted."  My mom got mean, she made me cry.  Boy, did I cry.

Thank God for Sara Silverman.  I'm reading her book "The Bedwetter:  Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee" on my Kindle, she was making me laugh when my mom was in her bitchiest state of mind yesterday.  Thank God.  I wish I could thank Sara Silverman.  She's a good writer and can certainly tell a good story.  I will be sad when I've read the last page... Sara, please write another book.  You are funny.

Today we are going to the doctors' to give a blood and urine sample, I think my mom has a Urinary Tract Infection or something else going on with her Kidneys.  It all started to go downhill when her Lisinopril dosage was upped from 10 mg to 20 mg.  I know that Lisinopril can injure the kidneys.  I also heard that folks with my mom's condition are prone to UTI's, infections that can cause mood swings and hallucinations.

It will be awesome to calm her craziness, her obsession with getting on the bus to Heaven, her pacing and her paranoia.

I do see glimmers of hope when she takes the Carnitine and R-Lipoic Acid.  She is finding her words.  She is hallucinating too, only now she can tell me what she's seeing... all day long.

My mom had her brain strings twanged, I think it's the UTI that caused the twang.

It's Working

It's been a wild ride this week.  My mom's hallucinations were intense, especially when she got mad at my dad because she thought he was with 2 "Evil Bitches."

I have candid video of my mom telling me all about the bitches.   We just pulled into the driveway and she began to talk.  I shut off the truck engine and turned on my video camera.  It's in this video that I came up with the idea of putting them in the stones and burying them.  My mom loved the idea.

We had the ceremony, the Bitches... well, they're gone.... Yay!

My mom, she's in love with my dad again.  She loves reading his letters to her, letters that I write based on things she says to me.  It is a form of manipulation but it works to keep her happy and calm.  She's easier to care for when she's in good spirits.

I had to come up with a way to divert her attention.  The ceremonies that we had, worked because I had her involved.  I had her do just about everything.  The power of the mind is amazing.  I helped my mom face her fear, we captured it and got rid of it.

The phrases that I had her say were for her subconscious mind to hear, it experienced the body motions which was the action needed to make it stick.  My mom, she did chase her own hallucinations away, even though she believes that I did it.  All I did was guide her and help her to believe.

It's Working!

My mom buried her hallucinations that were scaring her, she believes that they are safe in Hell.

My mom appears to be doing well today.  She is hallucinating, mostly about nuns and my dead brother Ed.  She thinks the hallucinations are singing to her, but it's really her mp3 player.

She's happy.

She understands that she can't speak to my dad because we are different forms of energy.  Thank God, she keeps stalking some guy at Whole Foods that she believes is my dad.  She wants to go there every day to "look" at him.

The email connection, the "Love Letter's From Heaven" are giving her peace.  She's reliving her life with my dad, the happy times... it's really great.  I don't know how long it will last but we're enjoying every minute.

Although everyone thinks I'm totally insane, I do have hope that we find a solution to help my mom find her words.  She's able to think, but she can't spit the right word out.  This frustrates her and she gets upset.  Her blood pressure rises and then she begins to hallucinate.  Quite a cycle.

Today however, she's in good spirits.  She is finding her words.  It's totally crazy how fast things change.

My mom wants to write my dad an email in the morning.  We'll do it together over coffee in the morning.  She wants to make sure that he sees their Great Grandson, she talks about him all the time and how much she wants my dad to see him.  We'll attach a picture of GG to the email.  My mom loves picking out the pictures that she wants my dad to have.

I told my mom that because the pictures are digitized, my dad can transform the format into one where he could print the pictures on Angel Paper.  Now, she wants to send him pictures all the time.  It's like she's trying to catch him up on the last 33 years that he's been dead.

My mom is afraid to die.  She wants to be with my dad.  It's a quandry that I believe I've solved.  It's only been a few days but things have settled down.  My days are no longer hell, which is a huge blessing.

It's working! 

All I did was listen to her and figure out how I could make up some crazy story that she would believe.  The crazier the better.  It was fun to see her fright go away when we buried the stones with the garlic.

The Bitches

For a few days, I've been a bit hesitant to give my mom her "Love Letter From Heaven."  She has been upset about my dad running around with women.  She sees the women in her bed... women that don't exist; she's hallucinating.  I never knew that my mom was the jealous type.

I did not get the expected result from my dad's letter. After I gave it to her this morning she got quiet and I could see her stewing. She kept telling me "everything is going to be OK." All I could think is, "Uh oh..." my mom never says that phrase.

My mom's blood pressure kept going up. I gave her roasted garlic with olive oil, she ate a few buds. Her blood pressure came down a little. She was not finding her words, which was making her angry. We were in a bad tail spin and I wasn't sure how to pull her out of it.

I rubbed her back. I gave her Reiki. I talked calmly. I had her listen to her music. She sang. Her blood pressure began to come down... then she'd get mad and it would go up again. She wanted to "go home." She didn't like the Sue she was seeing this morning so I changed my cloths so that I'd become a different Sue, maybe a Sue that she liked. This worked... she likes the "new" Sue.

It was hard to get the story from her since she was having trouble finding her words, especially when her blood pressure is elevated. I had to do something. 

I took her out for a drive in the truck.  I had the windows rolled down and her MP3 player plugged into my stereo.  I put the volume up high and we drove around singing out loud.   The drive calmed her.

I knew that if I could get my mom to sing, it would lower her blood pressure.  She also wanted to go out but didn't know where she wanted to go.  Our little ride served a multiple purpose.

My mom began to talk coherent sentences when we pulled into the driveway.  I shut off the truck and turned on the camera as soon as I noticed she was telling me what was bothering her.

It appears that there are these 2 women, my mom calls them "Bitches."  After she called them the B word she said, "Ah, now that felt good."  Then she cracked a smile as she continued to talk about the bitches.  I told her to call them the C word if she wanted, I wouldn't tell on her.  "Oh no, I could never say that word." She replied with a laugh.

The hallucination of the 2 women has her angry.  She's been angry about these 2 women since the first time she saw them up in Maine over the weekend.  These are the women that my mom told my sister that she wanted to "kick the shit out of them."  This sort of behavior is out of character for my mom, she doesn't swear.

We sat in the truck and my mom told me about the women.  She was angry with my dad because she thought that he was running around with them; "they are no good little shits." She exclaimed.  When I gave her the letter from dad this morning, she got upset, she didn't believe my dad's letter because she "saw him" with the women.

I thought fast...

"Oh Ma, are you going to believe these women, these nasty women who belong in Hell for all Eternity or are you going to believe dad who loves you more than anything, he's crazy about you."  I said to my mom.

I continued, "Ma, these women are trying to make you believe something that isn't true.  They have the ability to make illusions.  You thought you were seeing dad but it was a dad imposter.  They want you mad at dad because that's what keeps him away, when you are mad you don't see dad, remember?"

It was as though I struck a cord.  Immediately, her hallucination story plot changed, it was my brother Ed in bed with the 2 women.  She doesn't like them.  The women upset her, she's mad that my brother Ed was with them.

My mom talked about the letter and began to feel happy, that my dad loves her.  I told her that my dad would be showing up with a limo when it's her time.  I told her that there's no way she's taking the bus like the other people.  This made her feel special and she shook her head in agreement, as though I told her something that was old news.

My mom was still upset about the women.  I told her that we could try capturing them in a rock and then burying the rock so that they get shot into Hell for all Eternity.

Initially, she didn't like the idea but as we walked to the house, she warmed up to the thought of sending the bitches to hell in a rock.  Our next little walk around the yard will be to look for the perfect rocks to capture the bad souls and banish them back to hell.

Ok... if this idea sounds familiar, it's the plot from the TV Series Reaper.  God, I loved that show, it always made me laugh.  I'm glad I watched it because it gave me the idea about capturing the bad souls so that my mom can help me bury them... hopefully banishing them from her mind.  It's illogical but I've learned that logic doesn't work with my mom's brain.

Now, my mom is feeling a bit better.  She is not angry with my dad.  She told me that my dad couldn't be with those women because he's the guy in charge.  I agreed with her and suggested that we walk around the yard looking for a couple of rocks that I could use to capture those two nasty spirits and send them off to hell by burying the rocks in the Earth ... she smiled a real smile, the first one that she gave me all day. 

I'm An Angel

"Good Morning... I feel really happy.  Today will be a great day!"  My mom proclaimed as she walked into the sunroom this morning.

It was now after 8 AM and my mom was just waking up from her restful night.  I was up at 5:03AM, thanks to Sammy Mammy and Shakti Lakti.  Both cats were hungry... both cats took turns to get me out of bed. 

I woke up.

I fed the cats and they took a little nap.  They're beginning to realize that I won't let them out until 9am when the neighborhood wakes up and the fox in the woods goes to sleep.

7:30 AM

I began to get nervous, thinking that my mom had passed in her sleep, while I was sitting in the sunroom, enjoying the peace as I drank a cup of coffee.  I nearly jumped up to check but realized that if she had died in her sleep, no sense killing the joy the silent morning was providing to me.  I also knew that once I walked into her room, the floor would squeek and she'd wake up.  I wanted to be ready for my mom being awake, it begins a busy day once she's awake.

I did check on her about 8 this morning.  She was breathing, I saw her blankets moving up and down in a calm rhythm of her breath.  The floor squeeked.  The kittens chased me down into her room and Savita hissed... all noises that stirred my mom.  Within 5 minutes, my mom was walking down the hall when she proclaimed that today would be a great day.

She kept telling me that she had so much to tell me, so many stories to share with me.  When I was setting her hair this morning she talked to me like she always talked to her hairdresser; telling stories to her old friend.

My mom told me how she saw the nuns at the party... a big party in Maine.  She wants me to come to the party, her party.  I keep telling her that I can't go ... however, I asked her if she'd be the first one that I see at MY party after I've had a chance to live my life with my new husband.

My mom believed that she saw my dad in Maine.  She hasn't told me about dancing with him or telling my sister that she wanted to 'kick the shit out of..." the woman that she thinks is with my dad in Heaven.  It's so not like my mom to say words like that let alone think the thought.  I don't know if my mom remembers the anger that she had on Saturday night.  The night that freaked out my sister, the night my sister realized what I've been experiencing and why mom is not in a nursing home.  Donna gets it.  She understands the importance of what we are doing for our mom. 

I'm excited because I now have one of my siblings to share the burden as well as the happy times.  Mom makes us laugh.  Just the other day my mom said to Donna after her neighbor had left, "Does she know who I am?"  My sister said, "Of course, Beverly knows that you are my mom." 

My mom replied, "No, no, does she know that I'm an angel?" 

Earlier during the day my sister told my mom that she is an angel.  My mom, she is an angel... well, as long as her blood pressure and blood sugar are normal, she's an angel.

Where There's a Will, There's a Way

Insanity.  What is it?  How do you know when you have become insane?  How do we know who is ... insane?

Questions we may have asked ourselves about people we've met at work or in our daily travels.... "Are you nuts?" 

In my opinion, my mom has been nuts the last few days.  Her blood pressure and blood sugar are "twanging", either one or both are high and then low.  Her average blood pressure is high but not as high as it had been when she was taking Lisinopril.  Rescue Remedy works to calm her and me down during her hallucination episodes. 

Hallucinations are "friendly" when her blood pressure is high or her blood sugar is 125 or higher.  If both are high together, she hallucinates about stuff that scares her which leads to her blaming me for something that is out of my control.

My mom got angry with me on Saturday when we were all out in the yard, working around, cleaning up the debris that had fallen from the trees.  Her blood pressure was on the high side, 170/83.  I didn't check her blood sugar so I don't have a reading, but after my observations from yesterday, her blood sugar must have been high too.

Mom, she walked all day, looking and watching for my dad.  At one point she was heading out the front door to meet the "ship" that was taking every one, a "ship" where my dad was... my mom wanted to see my dad.  She wanted to go with him.

"Ma?  Where are you going?!"  I asked in shock, as I saw my mom walking out the front door.

"I'm going for a walk."  She said to me.

I was about to let her go out alone, it was a beautiful day, when she nearly fell down the front stairs.  She told me that she was feeling dizzy.  I convinced her not to go chasing my dad, that the "ship" probably already left.

My mom, she got mad.  She was mad that I was working in the yard earlier in the day.  My crazy mom believed that I chased my dad away by cleaning out my garden beds. 

Her blood pressure began to climb.

It was easy to convince my mom to listen to her Jason Mraz recordings on her MP3 player.  I had put 15 tracks of her favorite song, "A Beautiful Mess" on her player, every 2 songs, this song was set up to play.  My mom sings along to this song, she loves it.  I think the words remind her of her spirit friends, the ones she sees in the trees or over the fence in the woods; the ones on the bus that goes to heaven

"Here we are.  Here we are..."  the song echoes.  My mom, sings the words, she believes that the song sounds holy and sacred.  Other words say something about being crazy and having the best of both worlds.  The song's words touch my mom, they mean something to her... the song makes her teary eyed. 

One day, I'd love to tell Jason Mraz how much his song means to my mom and how it lowers her blood pressure, I'm sure it would make him proud of himself.  I appreciate Jason Mraz, an artist who has helped me and one who I will probably not have an opportunity to thank for his role in helping to calm my mom during her most intense dementia episodes.

All weekend, my mom's blood pressure was up and then down.  Her blood sugar would go up when she'd eat too much fruit, which appeared to fuel her visions.  Her Lewy Bodies are fighting with me, they seem to be hanging on, clinging to her neurons, refusing to leave my mom so that she can have her life back. 

It's a catch-22.  Elevated blood sugar, causes hallucinations.  Fenugreek, known to lower blood sugar and what I believe helped us to heal my mom's pancreas so that it produces it's own insulin, also raises blood pressure.  I can bring down her blood sugar with Fenugreek but then her blood pressure goes up.  I've seen her blood pressure go from 135/65 to 167/76 from 5 drops of Fenugreek Seed Extract (Herb Pharma brand.)  The positive?  Fenugreek lowered her blood sugar from 140 to 121 within 15 minutes.

Mission of the week.... keep my mom's blood sugar and blood pressure balanced using food. 

Last night, I prepared Asparagus as one of our vegetables for dinner.  I know that garlic is good to lower blood pressure so I took 8 cloves of finely chopped garlic and made the following recipe -

Asparagus and Garlic

2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 bunch of Asparagus (steamed - my mom likes her asparagus soft or she won't eat it)
6-8 cloves of Garlic chopped fine
Parmesean Cheese

In a large skillet ( I use a cast iron pan) add the 2 tablespoons of olive oil and heat until it shimmers.  Add in the garlic and stir around for about a minute, DO NOT ALLOW THE GARLIC TO BROWN.  Add the asparagus and stir around to coat with the garlic and oil.  Plate some of the asparagus and top with a little parmesean cheese.

My mom's blood pressure went from 198/87 to 135/65.  Yay!  Garlic worked and my mom loves garlic. 

"Susie!  Don't sit in that chair, you are sitting on Eddie!" my mom yelled at me when I came in to her room to check her blood pressure and blood sugar again.  Her blood sugar was 218 after dinner, her blood pressure was fine.  Her hallucinations were friendly... it was my brother. 

More visions, this time it was not my dead brother... she believed that my brother who's alive was visiting but didn't come to see her.  She was mad again.  "Did you see Marty?  Why isn't Marty coming to see me?  He must be busy with work." 

My mom has thought my husband looks like one of my brothers from the first day that she had met him.  The thought was a bit creepy, dating a brother.  Fortunately, I don't see the resemblance of my brothers in my husbands face like my mom does.  Yesterday, my mom believed that my husband was my brother Marty.  She was mad that Marty just waved to her but didn't come to see her. 

I took her out with me to run some errands yesterday, all day.  In the morning we went grocery shopping.  The monkey in the bananas at Whole Foods winked at her.  She thought she saw my dad walking in the store.  I had to keep calling her back, she was off with my shopping cart, stalking the man who she believed was my father.

"Susie, Daddy!  He's here!!!!  I need to go see him." my mom exclaimed to me while I waited at the butcher counter so that I could get chicken thighs for dinner.  My thoughts raced, I had no idea what to make of this new epiphany which my mom was apparently having in her mind.  I did know that I needed to go along with the hallucination and get us out of the store as quickly as I could.

Outside, my mom saw the angels in the trees.  She believed that they were coming for her.  She was ready to go on the Bus to Heaven with my dad and all the people.  "I want to go with them." my mom said to me as we were driving home.  I told her that she can go whenever she is ready.  Yesterday, she was ready, but the bus never came for her.

My mom stepped out of reality yesterday.  I took her out in the afternoon while I ran more errands.  She stayed in the truck and listened to her mp3 player, Jason sang his song and my mom appeared to relax.

I was gone about 15 minutes.  To my mom she felt that I had been gone for an hour.  My mom was worked up in a frenzy when I had returned, she believed that patrons to the stores in the strip mall were theives.  She saw them coming out of the stores with boxes and bags, she was convinced that they were stealing the items.  She was afraid that they were going to steal the truck and her in it.  She didn't know how to shut the windows.  She didn't know how to pull the keys out of the ignition.  My mom was in a panic.  She yelled at me when I got back to the truck, I had taken too long. 

It was an insane weekend.  Lots of hallucinations.  Elevated blood sugar and blood pressure causing hallucinations that were making her laugh and at times scaring the shit out of her. 

I'm learning what to do, how to keep her blood sugar and blood pressure balanced.  Real food is the key.  Nothing processed or baked, even gluten free treats bring on hallucinations because the ingredients raise blood sugar.  The hallucinations caused from elevated blood sugar causes her blood pressure to rise.  It's a viscious cycle that I need to stop so that my mom's brain has a chance to heal itself.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

High Blood Pressure, High Blood Sugar = Hallucinations

Things can change in a moment with a Lewy Bodies Dementia patient... one minute they can appear "normal" and the next minute they are confused, wondering how to get home. 

Last night, after dinner, my mom was happy to watch her buddy John on Family Feud, believing that he talks to her, winks and waves.  She tells me everyday that she is playing to win a car.  She REALLY believes that she can win the car.  I really don't know what I'll say to her when she tells me that she won the car.  A car that doesn't exist.  But, that's a problem to solve when and if it ever presents itself.

I gave her a little bit of ice cream, a treat.  I didn't put Fenugreek on the ice cream, I was afraid to raise her blood pressure, fenugreek raises blood pressure.  Within 10 minutes, my mom turned from happy to totally freaked out by her hallucinations.

"Susie, come on, let's get out of here.  I want to go home."  My mom said to me as I went to her room to see if she wanted a cup of tea.

"But Ma, we are home.  This is our home."  I said to her.

"Oh, don't tell me that.  This isn't my home.  I want to go to Lloyd Street.  Eddie is on Lloyd Street.  I want to go across the street, to our house across the street."  My mom continued on confused and convinced that we had a different home.

I checked her blood pressure and it was high, 184/74.  Her blood sugar, I didn't check it, I assumed it was high because of the ice cream that she had eaten.  It was only a 1/2 cup portion, but it was enough to bring on total confusion and fright.

"Come on.  Come in here with me."  She walked into her bathroom, holding my hand, bringing me in with her.  "Shut the door, I don't want them to hear."  she continued.

"Ma!  I don't know what to do.  You are home.  This is our home, there's no where for me to take you.  Why don't you put on your night gown?" I said, trying to convince her, knowing that I was wasting my breath.

"No!  Don't tell me that, it's not, I want to go across the street.  I want to see the rest of the house." My mom was spiralling out of control with the help her her hallucinations.

I began to cry.  I didn't know what to do.  She was a basket case and I was quickly following in step with her insanity.  When I began to cry, my mom snapped back, she became my mom... "Susie, it's OK.  Don't cry."  She walked over to the bathroom window and looked out and said, "Yup, that's my backyard.  Maybe this is my house." she added.

I was able to show her the things in her room, all of her belongings, right where they belonged in the closet.  I walked her to our sunroom, the room where she sits all day, a room that is remenesce of her bedroom in our home that we had lived 10 years before moving to our current home.

It was a time for Rescue Remedy, both of us needed a couple of squirts on our tongue in order to help bring down the stress, stress that was causing blood pressures to rise and make my mom crazier than usual.

Fortuantely my husband came up stairs just in time to talk my mom off her ledge.  He let her know that this is our home and she's welcome.  His words seemed to make sense to my mom because she calmed down.  Things began to become familiar again and my mom was ready to go back to her room and get dressed for bed.  I gave her a teaspoon of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar in a shot of water.

Her blood pressure had come down within an hour.  She took her night time supplements and her drink of Ashwagandha, my mom fell asleep and slept until 6:30 this morning.  She woke happy and cheery.  Blood pressure is normal and her blood sugar is also in a great range.

Today, she'll spend the day with my nephew.  I'll have a day off to go to the Mall and have one of those deep relaxing massages, an hour long massage.  I can hardly wait.  Today will be a great day... Yay!

It's also a special day ... 45 years ago, my mom gave birth to my "little" brother.  Happy Birthday Marty!!!!