I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

27 January 2011

I Have Become My Mother's Mother

My mom has a UTI.  I should have know it's the reason she was peeing and pooping in inappropriate places.  UTI's tend to make her more confused and less agreeable to anything that I may say.  It's frustrating as a Care Giver to have to live through the NO's that were typically YES answers.

I may call an ambulance today, to take her to the hospital.  She can't wake up and she looks like death is near.  Getting her to swallow one pill, her antibiotic, was like pulling eye teeth without any anesthetic!  She isn't eating much which is making me lean toward calling 911 to take her where she can get the right care.  I am making her chicken soup for lunch.  If she doesn't eat, then my next move is to call the professionals to take over today.

It's so damn stressful for me when she's sick; I feel like I've failed, although I know in my heart that I've done all that I can.

I really don't know how Care Givers do what they do, day in and day out.  I don't even know how I did what I did for so long.  All I know is that I'm done.

I broke a promise to myself and I feel bad.  I promised that when my mom got to this point, she would move out.  I never ever wanted to change a diaper nor did I want to spend my free days cleaning up shit and pee off my floors and walls.

I would have had kids if I wanted to experience diapers, pewk, shit and pee ... a choice that I made long ago, that motherhood was not for me.  However, here I am... the Universe has played a trick on me.  I have become my mother's mother... God help me.


  1. Have in my prayers Sue.
    I think my biggest fear in care giving is that my husband will get sick and run a fever.
    I have seen how this affects him and his decline comes faster and stays.

    Don't be so hard on yourself that you have waited so long in finding a suitable place for your mother. We can ALWAYS say, I would or I would never, as long as we aren't right in the middle of whatever situation arises. When we are face to face with a situation, all bets are off the table.

    You have done such a remarkable job caring for your mother. You followed your heart and tried everything in your power. My goodness, above and beyond in so many situations!
    There should be no feeling bad for doing what you felt was the right thing for her. Now you realize doing the right thing for you IS the right thing for her.

    Sending you get well wishes and a cyber {{{hug}}}

  2. Kathy... thank you so much for your comment. You always know what to say to lift my spirits.

    Big cyber HUGS back to you too! Thank you.

  3. Here is wishing you health and healing.

  4. My mother had Alzheimers. I used lots of alternative medicines, as well as mainstream meds. Mom lived with me for 10 years. Sometimes you just need someone to say its ok.

  5. Thank you for your comments, Ruth. It's the toughest job I've ever done, being a care giver to my mom. I have no regrets.