My mom has had trouble finding the bathroom for quite some time, it's as though it's invisible to her. Often she walks right past her bathroom and roams around the house looking for it. Accidents typically occur, leaving a mess to be cleaned as soon as the sun comes up.
This morning, I woke up and checked on my mom who was still sleeping. I poked my head in the bathroom and saw her diaper on the floor. I put it into her small pail. I moved the pail and it was heavy, even though it appeared empty. My mom, she pee'd in the bucket! This small little bucket on the floor, she was able to use as a toilet.
A couple of days ago I bought her a new toilet seat. It's elevated and has handles. I don't think she likes it. Yesterday morning she pee'd all over the bathroom floor. Last night she was complaining of a backache and told me that she fell in the bathroom, slipping on her pee the night before last. It was difficult for her to get off the floor, but she did before I woke up and checked on her.
My mom's behaviors are very difficult since I had given her gluten free treats. She is happy while she's eating the treats but a couple hours after ingesting them, she becomes agitated and crazier than usual. Yesterday, I found her pulling her pants down in the den and getting ready to sit on the chair and relieve herself. "NO!" Is all I could scream as I grabbed her arm and guided her down the hall to her bathroom.
As much as I would love to keep my mom home with me until the end of her life, I just can't do it. She is too disagreeable with me and fights me every step of the way, especially when I'm doing all that I can to avoid having her shit or piss on the floor.
I am stressed out; there is no joy left with caring for my mother. She is a huge burden. My mom wants what she wants, period. She believes that she is still "the mother" and in charge; obviously she isn't.
I woke up praying the Our Father this morning, followed by a few Hail Mary's. I'm scared for my mom. I'm tired. I pray that I find the right place for her to live sooner than later.
It's difficult to see my mom naked, shitting and peeing in inappropriate places. She refuses help, expecting only me to help her... I can't do it. All I can do is pray for a miracle and hope God is listening. God, are you listening? Can you at least allow her to see her bathroom and remember how to use it? Thank you.
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sue. its time.
ReplyDeleteSue,
ReplyDeleteI pray the right place becomes available for you soon :)
Still praying for you {{{hugs}}}
Joe... It's been time for awhile. I am actively looking at homes and putting her on waiting lists. Some places are so sad, I wouldn't leave an animal in their care. It's a different worry that I'll have when she's in a facility...but it is time. I always said, when the shit starts to fly... I am done. I am now done. Thank God for Belkis, Grams care attendant.
ReplyDeleteKathy...thank you. I do NOT know how you do what you do. Big hugs back at you.
its nice to know she as a good care attendant.
ReplyDeleteJoe, Belkis is awesome. Unfortunately, Gram thinks she's a man and goes nutty when she tries to help her in the shower. Always a struggle where I usually end up crying.
ReplyDeleteToday, there's a new attendant coming to meet Gram. Hopefully, Gram likes her so that she can come every weekday for an hour to clean her up and get her ready for bed.
Belkis will still be Gram's companion on the weekends (3 hrs on Sat and 3 hrs on Sun.) Gram likes her because she cleans her room and gives her treats.
Gram is like having a toddler who thinks she has the upper hand because "she's still the mother."