I am not a doctor. I am providing information based on experiences that my mom has with natural remedies. The purpose of this blog is to help folks to educate themselves. Use this information with your own discernment.

05 September 2011

Dear Nursing Home Care Workers Everywhere,

Ma and her cat, Savita
June 2011
I am tired.  I am sick hearing you complain, day in and day out.  Whining, bitching, spewing your crap all over the innocent residents of the home where you are working is wrong.  Through your venting, you are bathing demented residents in your vile energy.  No wonder they are all agitated and upset most of the time when you are working in their home.

How would you feel if someone like you came into YOUR home and bitched nonstop about things out of your control?  Would you tolerate people filling your house with negativity?  Why do you do it in my mom's home?

Why do you walk down the halls after all the residents are in bed and talk as though it's 2 in the afternoon?  Really?  No wonder my mom isn't sleeping very well when you are on duty.

Your speaking in your foreign language, hollering down the hall for one of your friends, laughing and joking, is extremely disrespectful; it wakes my mom, it scares her and makes her hallucinate about something that she can not verbalize.  Mom lost her ability to communicate, she can't tell you to shut the hell up anymore.  So, I am telling you... 'SHUT THE HELL UP!'

Please help me to understand why my mom will struggle in her seat, doing the pee-pee or poo-poo dance in her seat, while you ignore her because "she's not your responsibility" or "it's not your job."  Where's the team work?  Where's your respect for each other?  No wonder your work environment is like a living hell on Earth, you are part of the problem.

Look in the mirror, please, see your face and be honest with yourself.  What are you doing to contribute to your own misery?  Why aren't you taking responsibility for your own actions?  Why are you trying to convince yourself that it isn't you, it's THEM?  Why are you listening to the bullshit of others?  Their negativity is contagious, it's easy to get sucked in.  I have a question for you, "how is this benefiting you?"

Does complaining make you feel better?  Maybe while you're talking but when you are on the listening end, it makes you feel worse.  Negative talk spreads like a cancer.  Misery loves company; a phrase that holds volumes of truth.

Why are you wasting a crap load of valuable time bitching.  Time that you could use more effectively helping the residents that you were hired to assist with their daily living.

Why do you disrespect yourself and fall into the complaining pit?

Take control.  Refuse to listen to the complaining.  Hold up your hand and say, "Thanks but no thanks, if you don't have something positive to say, shut the hell up."  Ask the complaining people what they can do to change the situation?  If they can't do anything, they have no reason to bitch.  If you are going to bitch, have a solution and take action to make a change.

Change begins with each of us.  We all have free will, no one can make us do anything, not even listen to their complaints.  It's not hard to change, you just have to make the decision and do it.  First, chose to stop listening to the gossiper, they really have nothing to say.  I doubt their words are based on facts.

So... how do you change?  Begin by changing what you say, it's not hard.

Start everyday expecting greatness.  Jump out of bed and say out loud with enthusiasm, "TODAY WILL BE A GREAT DAY!"  Expect a great day and it will find you.

Please stop and think.  Use your mind, the power to change is within you.   Lots of moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends depend on you every day, please don't let them down because you are choosing to walk with a rain cloud over your head.

Thank you in advance.

A concerned Care Giver.


  1. Susan, thank you for voicing this. i have seen some of the same things and it hurts so much. I know the work is hard there, but nobody is forcing them to do it. I am sure there are good aides out there, but when it is bad it is horrid.

  2. Sheri... THANK YOU. It truly rots. I am angry. This disrespect MUST STOP and I will do all that I can to make it stop in my mom's home.

    People forget and get sucked in to the tar pits through their chosen attitudes.

    I am giving people everywhere permission to be brave and initiate the change. It all begins with one person who has the courage to say ENOUGH!

  3. Can you either share this post or document the bad mouthing and leave it with an administrator. You could make the difference in the place. Or maybe you have tried that. There are many unemployed people who would love to have the job of these "professional" workers.

  4. NewKid.... yes, I have shared and I do every day. Like all other families with loved ones in this facility, all of us are not heard. I have met with and spoken to the Ombudsman. I've also spoken with the state survey team that was in doing a survey last month.

    My mom is happy and doing well but it's because I visit every single day, sometimes twice a day. I'm exhausted. I want time off. I deserve a break. I'm tired.

    Not sure if the home reads my blog, but I hope they do. This nonsense has got to stop, it's wasting valuable time and money while creating an uninhabitable living environment.

    I will speak my mind and will not stop until I'm heard.

  5. "There are many unemployed people who would love to have the job of these 'professional' workers."

    It might be different if you treated them like "professionals". The nursing home operators hire people with the minimal skills and education, pay them peanuts, provide few if any benefits; all in the name of enhancing their profits. I know that thousands of unemployed are would just jump at the chance to earn minimum wage, change adult diapers, deal with people with dementia, and get slandered and ridicudled by people like the author of this blog post.

    So maybe your anger is misplaced.

  6. Dear Anonymous... why do you hide your true identity?

    Not sure which dictionary you use but all the dictionaries I've referenced about the word slander have this as the definition:

    slan·der   [slan-der]
    1.defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
    2.a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
    3.Law . defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.

    Tell me again HOW my blog post is slanderous when I documented FACTS which I have witnessed first hand? A fact is a fact... period.