I Am Alive! I Survived the Hospital.

The last seven days of my life have been like one out of a science fiction horror movie; the kind that made me lose sleep at night when I was a little girl.

I never had the Gall Bladder surgery, my blood pressure was crazy.  No matter how many pharmaceutical drugs I took, nothing worked.  My surgery was on again, off again.  The first time it was cancelled was because of my blood pressure.  The plan was that I would go home, get my blood pressure under control and then schedule the surgery.  

I had a fever like I have never had in my life Monday night into Tuesday; surgery... ON.

Everyday, I watched my blood pressure rise by 10 points.  Nothing was working.  

Everyday, the Pharma Goon Squad came into my room and lectured me on managing my blood pressure.  

"I DO!  I just don't do it with pharmaceuticals.  I see a Naturopath Doctor, he recommends alternatives that are working for me.  I couldn't take my supplements because I was vomiting bile."  I attempted to explain how I care for myself.  

It was as though I had no voice and no say about ME!  I was chained to a bed with an IV needle in my arm.  Pumping me full of fluids, continuously, Sodium Chloride.  My fingers were swelling like balloons.  I had to take off my wedding ring.

"Hey, do you think pumping all this Sodium Chloride into me is causing my blood pressure to go up?  Too much Sodium Chloride is known to raise blood pressure."  I asked the nurse.

"Oh no, it's different.  It won't raise your pressure."  She answered like a trained monkey.  It made no sense to me, sodium, is sodium.

My surgery was cancelled at the last minute because my blood pressure wouldn't come down.  It was 200/100 and rising.  The surgeon feared that I would die on the table.  

"Ok.  Fair enough, when can I get out of this hell hole?"  I asked.

Let me tell the story of how we got to where I am today, it is all true... every word.

Sunday, the ER folks did a great job to keep me comfortable.  The ER Doctor was awesome.  He gave me confidence.  

Gall Bladder pain is the worst pain I have ever experienced.  It lasted about 13 hours.  The nurses who cared for me were amazing, they all made sure that I was pain free.  God love them for that... please.

Monday, I woke up and that's when the Blood Pressure lectures began.  Every one lectured me... no one would listen.

I have one lapse in judgement and everyone thinks I am "one of those junk food junkies" and needs to be on pharmaceuticals.   It is unheard of to have someone without at least one pharmaceutical that is taken for one thing or another.  It felt like the vultures where hovering over my bed when the students would come around every morning with the Hospitalists.

I asked the Hospitalists on Tuesday morning, "Doctor?  Am I going to live?"  I was serious.  He shrugged!  He SHRUGGED at me and walked away; no words of encouragement.   No wonder my blood pressure was elevating, I was being led to believe that I was going to die if I didn't do what they wanted me to do.

They wouldn't listen to me.

My blood was drawn and tested.  All tests were good, nothing weird.  My cholesterol, my blood sugar, everything was good.  Of course it was, I eat well and do my best to take care of myself.  I strayed one damn day and ate a fucking cheeseburger!  (excuse my language, it is the only word to express how angry I was with the hospital doctors not listening to me.)

The Cardiologist visited me on Tuesday afternoon and immediately pissed me off.  I didn't want to see him but they sent him anyway.  I felt as though I had no rights.

"I have 6 rules."  He starts out his conversation with me.

I was in pain; I had just been given a shot of dilaudid before he came into the room.  Thank God.

"Rule 1..." he continues as he stands at the foot of my bed and points his finger at me, "...YOU LISTEN!"  He commanded.

Are you kidding me?  I thought to myself.  I was in no mood for this right now.  I was not at my best, my thinking was now cloudy because of the pain med.  I laid there, he had me captive.

Laughing and joking, I only remember one other rule that made me feel so uncomfortable I didn't know what to say or do.

"Rule whatever... YOU will have sex three times a day!"  He said, making assumptions about my sex life.  My sex life was not what I was in the hospital for... it is my gall bladder dummy.

I was so mad at this point, I couldn't wait for him to get the hell away from me.  

My blood pressure went up.  

The nurses were freaking out, they all believed that I was going to stroke out or have a heart attack.  I saw the worry in their faces.  I wasn't sure if I was going to make it.  I started to believe that I was going to die.

I started to worry more.

My blood pressure went up.

More lectures were sprinkled throughout my stay... hmmm, wonder why my blood pressure wasn't going down?

It was time for an echo cardiogram.  The doctors were not finding any reason for my blood pressure going so high; off I went for the tests.

The technician was a big burly man.  He told me that he would make this test discreet and keep me covered while he pressed the ultrasound wand over and around my chest.  Great.

Then...

"OK.  Time to rip your cloths off!" He stated as he grabbed the top corner of my hospital gown and ripped open the snaps.  

I was shocked!

"You better not let my husband catch you!"  I snapped back.  

I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to handle this awkward situation.  Now, I had to lay on this table while this freaking weirdo rubs a thing that looks like a big dick all over my chest in my boobage area!  I wanted this to be over and fast.  I closed my eyes.

And the doctors wondered why my blood pressure wouldn't go down?

No one would listen to me.

About 4pm, I had another Gall Stone attack; one of my stones decided to pass.  Oh God!  I still had 30 minutes to wait for more pain med.  I broke out into a sweat.  I asked the nurse if she could cut me some slack.  

"Sorry Dear.  You have to wait."  She answered back.

I began to cry.  I didn't think I could make it.  I sucked it up.  I started to breath.  That's when I realized, I couldn't take deep breaths, I couldn't catch my breath!  I got more nervous.  The pain became more intense.  I thought I was going to pass out.

I prayed.  I began to miss my husband and feel regret for never having a honeymoon.  I cried.

The nurse came back.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My roommate was a 30 something young mom who had an appendicitis attack earlier in the day.  She had emergency surgery and was feeling better just when I was feeling my worst.  

"Do you mind if my family visits?"  The girl asks through the curtain.  I kept the curtain shut.  I didn't want to see anyone.

"No.  I don't mind."  I replied.

About 5 pm her family arrives.... her ENTIRE family.  Our room was small and very warm to begin with, add 10 or so people (including little kids); it quickly became like an oven.  

My head was pounding.  I felt like I was having a heart attack; gall bladder pain feels like a heart attack.

I had to pee. 

I couldn't get by the crowd.

I buzzed for the nurse and asked her to kick everyone out.  I couldn't handle it anymore.  It was like sitting in their family dinning room during one of their family visits.  It sucked.  Their conversation was annoying, especially the loud mouth with the big bellowing voice.  

Were these people for real?

I made my roommate cry.

I didn't care.

All the high blood pressure medicine that they gave me was the same medicine my mom was given.  I felt like I was my mother!  I was getting the same readings for my mom as they were getting on me.  I began to try and solve the problem.  "What's similar between Ma and me?"  I asked myself and thought about for hours while I laid in bed.

Could it be the gluten in the pills?  Maybe the medicine isn't being absorbed because I shook up my villi in my intestine by eating that big honking gluten filled roll with that big fat juicy cheeseburger?

I tried to talk to the doctors about my thought; no one would listen.  I was discredited and dismissed.

Wednesday, I was scheduled for surgery at 10:30 am.  I was given several injections of Heparin to prevent blood clotting; I have a DVT history.  Again, I was not allowed to drink water; I was thirsty.

4:30 am, the student doctor who visited me every morning; woke me up to lecture me about my blood pressure.  She would ask me a question and when I began to answer she put the stethoscope in her ears and took my blood pressure.  I was silenced.  

Her body language was crossed arms.  

"See your body language?  You are not listening to me.  I am the boss of my body.  You do understand that, right? "  I stated to the student doctor, waving my finger across her, showing her what I was seeing.

"Oh, it's early."  She answered.  

"What?  Please get out of here and do not ever come back.  You are part of the problem.  Get out!"  I screamed at the future doctor.

I did not want to see any of the Pharma Goon Squad that morning, I requested that they stay away.  

They did.

Surgery was cancelled.

I was discharged.

I am feeling much better.  

Fenugreek is making me feel better.  My first night home, I lost 12 lbs of water... I am now down 20 lbs since my hospital stay.  I had gained 13 lbs in 4 days while at the hospital.

Through out this experience, I thought of my mom.  I am grateful that I was there for her and acted as her voice.  We all need a strong voice to fight for us.  The majority of Doctors do not believe in natural medicine, period.  Doctors do not believe in including the patient as the head of the care team; it's my body, it's my life... why not?

My conclusion:  There's no profit in healthy people.  We have to speak up for ourselves.  We have the power of NO.