Do You Have All of Your Marbles?

Most of the time, my mom has no idea who I am.  It is confusing to her on so many levels.  Sometimes, for brief moments, she recognizes me and then laughs that she thought I was someone else.

Tonight, she was confused, she asked me if I had a license to be her nurse.  She asked me if I had a birth certificate to prove that I am her daughter.  She wants to see the birth certificates of all of her children.  Tomorrow, I told her that I'll pull them out of the safe and show them to her.

She asked me about my dead brother Ed, "where is he?" she said to me.  I look at her puzzled and then she started to laugh as she said, "Oh, he's down the well." 

She is confused about who I am more often than not.  She loves the me that's her nurse, she loves Nurse Sue.  As Nurse Sue, I call her Josephine and I talk to her like a nurse would talk to a patient; like I used to talk to Aggie, the woman I caregave to just before I bought my house and moved my mom in with me in 1998. 

It's better when she thinks I'm her nurse.

Sue visits, her daughter Sue.  Sometimes she thinks I'm Donna.  She knows Ann is in Maine, far away.  Marty?  She's always asking me where's Marty.

Today, she had visitors again.  The little boy was back.  Her sister Florence, who she reminded me her first name was Victoria, came today and visited.  My mom is slipping.  She's declining. 

I gave her Helleborus to see if we could chase the hallucinations away.

She will bounce back, she always does but she won't be at the place where she was before the mental slip.  I wonder if there's a natural remedy or homeopathic remedy that will help where Helleborus seems to be losing ground? 

Lewy Bodies Dementia is a strange disease. 

From what I've read on the LBD usergroup postings, this is something that just happens, the patient has setbacks and they don't go back to the sort of good days they had before the set back.  They still have good days, more of them, but they are different.  It requires more work for the Care Giver.  The patient believes they are doing great, while the Care Giver is asking the question to themselves, "Really?!"

Will we ever be ready for the next Lewy Bodies Phase?

My mom, she's starting to get the Lewy Body Lean.  She's leaning to the left.  I wonder if it's because she's been a life long Democrat that she's leaning left.  Leaning left works out in a healthful way too, because the left side is the side to lay on if you are constipated, it gives gravity a chance to work with your body.

All of this is amusing to me, my mom's confusion.  Just earlier today my mom was talking about the new Senior Center that she went to this week.  She told me that they were "unorganized."  I said, "In what way?"  Then she went on to tell me how the folks there don't have their "marbles." 

I asked her, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, we played the Price Is Right on Wii (we have that game and it's my mom's favorite TV Show, she never misses it) their was one guy who got mad, he doesn't have all his marbles.  He thought he really won the money on the Wii game, he was crazy.  I wanted to laugh out loud"  she said to me, "but, I just held it in.  These people were funny, they thought they were going to win real money."

My mom, it's really hard to describe how she is.  She seems to be in limbo most of the time.  She has good days.  I consider a good day to be a day without a hallucination.  Helleborus works for her but it takes more lately to get her to be more in life's realm of reality.

She sleeps through the night on her herbal remedies.  I really couldn't ask for much more.  My personal life is slowly coming back to me.  Time away from my duties as a Care Giver, time to just be with myself; it was better than any sedative prescribed by a doctor. 

This week, I had a taste of freedom, I was liberated from Caregiving, even if it was just for 5 hours, but it is 5 hours where I felt that I had all of my marbles!

Hurry, the Lady... She's Leaving!

Doctors, especially new doctors freak my mom out so badly that it brings out Lewy.  My poor mom.

Yesterday we visited her Neurologist who gave us results of a test that my mom had taken to see how far along her AZ has progressed.

After the test, my mom came out of the room all flush and told me that she had a headache.  She told me that the test was really hard because she had to remember things.

I felt so badly for my mom.  I assured her that she did great and not to worry, there were no right or wrong answers, it was just a test so that Dr. B and Dr. S could help her to have more good days.

She did well on the recent memory portion of the test, getting 14 out of 16 correct.  Her speech areas seem to be affected, she has trouble with words.

My mom has a pacemaker so she can't have an MRI to see what's going on in her head, the magnets in the machine would kill her.  The only other thing her Neurologist suggested was a Catscan to see what is going on in her brain, if there's anything that shouldn't be there.

My mom began hallucinating yesterday afternoon, when we returned from the Neurologist.  Helleborous doesn't appear to be working very well to keep the spooks away.  It works temporarily.

This sort of tells me that I need to understand the cause of her upset, the underlying reason for the hallucinations.

My husband had a good theory, my mom is losing control of her own life.  When I agreed to the catscan yesterday, without really consulting her first, she got upset, she doesn't want the catscan.

This morning, I told her that she doesn't have to have it if she doesn't want to, it's her body and she has the last say over what happens to it.  Saying this to her made her feel a little better.

Last night my mom woke up at 10pm, all freaked out.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up after making such a huge mess putting dinner together.  My mom came in to the kitchen telling me that my father was in her room, that he didn't know that he was dead.  Of course I went to check and tucked her back in bed.  While she laid in bed she was clearly scared and nervous about something.  I waited for any clues as to what the problem could be.  It was my father's visit.  She believed that he was coming to take her to heaven.  Last night, she believed she was going to die. 

I did tell her that if she wanted to leave, she can leave.  I also assured her that I'd care for her, that she is safe here with my husband and me.  "Thank you dear" was her reply before she closed her eyes.

I gave her hypnosis, I suggested that she would find her purse in the morning.  That after breakfast, after she had eaten all her supplements, she would relax and remember.  I rubbed her back.  I gave her a little Reiki too as I stroked her head, just like her mom used to do to her and what she passed on to me.

My mom fell fast asleep.

I woke at 7am and my mom was sound asleep.  I didn't wake her.  I couldn't, she appeared to be sleeping peacefully.

8:30am I checked on her again.  She was sleeping but her body appeared to be twitching under the covers, her arm was flinching, her legs... she was doing what I've seen our cats do when they are sleeping and dreaming of chasing mice or running outside.

Not 5 minutes had passed when my mom screams and comes running out of her room.  She was upset.  The lady had come back, the lady that stole her purse.  She told her that someone was going to die.  She mentioned the name but forgot.

My mom, she rushed to the window, pulled up the shade and frantically hollered for me to stop her, to go and talk to her.  "Look!  Look!  There she goes.  Oh... hurry!  She's getting away."

I embraced my mom, trying to calm her with a hug and gentle strokes on her back.  She didn't want my hug, she wanted me to go and get the lady.

She sat up in her chair, slowly coming around.  She was in the middle of some nightmare when she woke.  She didn't know she was awake.  She asked me if she died.  It is all so confusing when my mom has an episode of hallucinations like she had this morning.

Now, she thinks the night time Susan, the nurse that is my imposter, who she likes better than me but "don't tell Sue", will make sense of everything.  She is waiting for me to come in her room tonight because she believe the nighttime Susan has all the right answers.

This gives me all day to listen to her and come up with positive suggestions that will help her to sleep.

I do expect her to sleep well tonight because she is seeing her Naturopath Doctor tomorrow, she loves him because he has helped her to feel much better.

We are fortunate to have such good doctors helping my mom through this insane disease that causes her to be frightened by hallucinations, the wild animals under her bed, the moving walls, the extra stairs that lead to nowhere, the strangers that just appear and steal her things, like ... "the Lady."

Yesterday, the hallucinations were talking to her while I was in the room.  This has never happened before, which I find odd.  She told me that her Infant of Prague statue was laughing at me because I didn't believe that they all exist.

Let's see how the rest of today goes... come back later for the continuing Saga of The Lady.

My Purse! The Lady Stole my Purse!

My mom was a little off all day today, especially because she missed seeing her Naturopath Doctor today.  She LOVES his doctor appointments and never has a bad night before going to see him.

However, last night I realized that I had double booked appointments.  I couldn't believe it. 

I keep forgetting that my mom isn't right and I told her how I screwed up the appointments.  The only doctor she wanted to see today was her ND.

I contacted the ND's office as soon as I could and asked to reschedule, today preferably.  The only time was 10:30am, I don't think I could make it unless we were out of the Neurologist by 10:10.  No way did I want to rush our Neurologist.

We missed the ND appointment.

My mom was upset.  She was looking forward to seeing her ND today.  The upset brought out Lewy.

This afternoon, she fell asleep in her chair, did some sleep walking, hid her purse and then woke up worrying about her purse.  She has worried about her purse for as long as I can remember... I'm nearing the 50 corner, so it's been a LONG time that she's worried about that damn purse.

Like many care givers, we spend hours looking for shit.  Tonight, my mom decided that it was important for me to help her find her "stolen" purse while I was in the middle of making dinner.  Oh, the timing was impeccable for causing me to lose my stride with preparing dinner.  It was one of those meals where you need to add things in a sequence, pretty quick before the simmer step of my recipe.

I assured her that no one came and stole her purse.

Later, while she ate dinner she said to me, "Susie, you don't understand these people.  They show up.  They are here when you are and they laugh at you.  You see that statue over there, it's laughing at you."

My mom gets a very strange look in her eyes when she is in hallucination mode.  I didn't give her any more helleborous, I decided to do hypnosis instead.

I gave her mind positve commands and told her that she will remember where her purse is in the morning.  that she will have a great night sleep and in the morning, she will remember where she placed it for safe keeping.

Well... let's see if this works.  I believe it will.

Otherwise, I'm going to have to set up cameras to see if I can capture "the lady" in action.

The Man... He's Gone for NOW!

The Man, the scary man that began disappearing yesterday, is now completely gone.

I asked my mom this morning, "So Ma, did you see the man last night?"

"No!  I didn't even see any dead relatives."  As she let out a laugh that would make the saddest person turn a frown upside down.

My mom appears to be having a good day, even after her fall last night.

Her muscles are a little sore in her duppa, but for the most part she's fine.  Nothing a little Arnica homeopathy won't fix.

Reiki - the Chi Quotient

Chi... what is it? You may have heard about it at one time along your travels, but what is it?

Chi is our energy life force, it's the Universal energy that is stored in your body in order to keep your life healthy. When you feel sick, sad or out of sorts, you are probably low on Chi.

There are many things that you can do to restore your Chi-quotient by yourself, meditate, exercise or laugh, to name a few. Or you could visit a Reiki Practitioner for a Reiki session. You can find out more about Reiki by visiting the Reiki.org website.

I've been using Reiki on my mom for nearly a decade. I'm a trained Reiki Master and have seen the power of the human touch on people who are out of balance both physically and emotionally.

Uncle Al is benefiting from Reiki. He is walking better and his mental clarity is improving. He has more lucid moments and fewer episodes of memory loss. It's awesome to see his spirit waking up.

One day, I hope to see Uncle Al like he was the last time he visited my house in 2000. He wants his memory back and I believe that I can help him find it through a balanced MIND BODY and SPIRIT.

It would be great to give him a job around the house, he wants one very badly. His goal is to sit on the lawn tractor and cut the lawn. Every day we are moving closer to this goal.

Stay tuned for video of Uncle Al riding the lawn tractor for the first time.

He's there... I know he's there!

My poor mom, she still believes there's a man peeking at her through doors that are cracked open a bit.

Nope, no man Ma.

This morning my husband had a brilliant idea. He suggested that I ask her if the cat is sleeping next to her when she sees the man.

I did ask my mom the question and she said, "Yes." I replied, "Ma, do you think the cat is going to stay laying here asleep if there's a man peeking through the door? Savita is the scardiest cat in the world, she'd be long gone. So, as long as the cat is sleeping next to you on the bed, then there's no man.

Let's hope the cat begins to serve a useful purpose other than looking cute and setting you up for a good scratch from her right hook.

High Fructose Corn Syrup: Enemy #1

A few days ago my mom was seeing people in the house that were not here. I knew that I didn't give her anything that would trigger hallucinations because I don't keep anything with preservatives in the house. But, she was still seeing people so I knew that she must have eaten something like the sugar free hard candies that she bought religiously when she was driving for .99 from our local pharmacy chain.

We had stopped in to Walgreens just the day before her visitors returned. I left her to roam freely in the store while I was in a 2nd hand clothing store for children next door.

My mom tells me that she "needs" these candies to suck on when she gets a tickle in her throat. Then she said, "You weren't around for me to ask." Pretty lame excuse.

So, instead of getting mad at my mom, I told her the scientific facts about the hydrogenation process and how in the 1970's these "new" fats began to replace lard and butter.

Looking back in my family history, in the 1970's my dad was unemployed because he couldn't bend steel any longer. He had bursitis in his elbow, the one he shattered when he was 9 years old playing on the freight trains in Chelsea.

At this time, my family was forced to go on welfare to help us get by. During those years the government handed out food in totally generic labels. You'd get a big chunk of butter and cheese depending on how many people in your family. There were 7 of us so we got a lot.

Another item we got was corn syrup. High fructose, more than likely it was hydrogenated. My mom used to cook with this and we often used it as "maple syrup" on pancakes or french toast.

Shortly after our ingesting this food is when my mom began to have health issues and my dad died of pancreatic cancer.

So, this leads me to believe that the "new" HFCS is Enemy #1, it snuffs out lives.

Here's an article about it - The Enemy is in Your Food: High Fructose Corn Syrup

The Dementia Experiment

I've been thinking about the link between nutrition and dementia a lot lately.

Dementia is a very wild phenomenon that seems to occur when the brain is agitated and has had a little too much carbohydrates and or sugar.

This morning started off a little bit nutty, all before I had a cup of coffee!

My mom came upstairs this morning, all wild eyed like she had just seen a ghost. It's the look she gets when she's having "visitors." She was convinced that some guy was chasing the cat around the room all night as he blew air threw his lips. There was another guy who worked on the door knob all night. She was swearing to me that it was real, I even got an "honest to God, I'm not imagining it."

How do I fight the logic of someone who believes so strongly that they had seen someone or something, that they didn't see anything? From my experience, as long as the persons eyes are wild, you have to figure out how to get them to stop obsessing over the vision.

I didn't do very well this morning, I told my mom that she was imagining someone in the house. She didn't believe me and walked away saying something like, "I'm not crazy."

In the meantime, I prepared my mom's oatmeal with raisins as well as a cup of coffee. By the time I went downstairs, my mom was back, the wild eye woman had retreated. This is when I can explain about dementia to my mom and how no one is in the house.

I've been making sure that my mom keeps her carb intake to a minimum. We eat a huge amount of vegetables, different types of vegetables. I like to make them interesting and use them to make all of our meals beautiful... like a rainbow. Last night we had a salad with sliced roasted chicken on top. It was a fabulous meal... no carbs and very low in fat. This had all the ingredients for a happy sleep for my mom.

So, what made her have visions?

Yesterday, she got upset with me at Walgreens because I bought a new blood glucose meter for 10 bucks. She had 300 test strips for this particular meter (the doctor made a mistake and sent in a prescription for the wrong blood tester.) My mom had run out of the strips that went with her old meter. She didn't have any refills left on the strips and the pharmacist had to fax the doctor. The pharmacist wouldn't give her any strips unless she paid for them. My mom wasn't listening, she was stuck on a belief that she was right.

Well, I knew I needed to buy the darn meter for 10 bucks so that she could test her blood glucose levels. Otherwise we'd be waiting until today and there was no way that she could wait. Checking her sugar levels is how I know what to feed her!

Yesterday, my mom ate right. I think she did anyway. I'm not sure if she bought some of those sugar free candies for a dollar in the store when I wasn't looking, even one little hard candy causes her to be demented and see people and things.

Ok, back to the experiment...

I'm discovering that nutrition plays a huge role in keeping dementia and diabetes under full control. I found a website, Nutrition Data where you can check the glycemic index of any food! It even gives you a place, once you register to add in your own food labels which it will generate the approximate Glycemic Index.

Here's an example of a Taco Bell taco... Taco Bell taco . No wonder I don't like Taco Bell! It's estimated Glycemic Index is 19, too much.

My experiment is to see if I keep the GI to 10 or under on all foods, in order to help my mom regain her full good health.