|Mother Mary in my garden.|
Mary hasn't visited me in years. Her signs, if she's been leaving them for me, have gone unnoticed. Care Giving seems to dim my sixth sense. Typically, Mary visits me in dreams. I haven't been dreaming.
My mom is super challenging, often interrupting my sleep. Cognition fluctuations are more and more frequent with greater intensity. Hallucinations are back with a vengeance; scary hallucinations that require me to pick up the phone and dial Dream Master.
Talking into the air at my Mom's hallucinations help calm her, but sometimes not even my acting impresses her enough where she relaxes and can be redirected.
Most times I have no idea what my mom is asking me and often she answers questions opposite of what she intends. The most important question that is often answered incorrectly is, "Ma, do you need to use the toilet?"
Today was challenging.
I cried after my mom left on the van this morning. The pressure of caring for her while we wait for a bed to open in a home that is LBD qualified is indescribable. My heart bleeds for Care Givers of LBD patients; we are often forgotten even by health care professionals. No wonder so many of us get sick.
Saturday was a beautiful day. I took my mom outside in the backyard and we walked. My goal was to wear her out so that she'd sleep at night. I need to dream. I need to solve my problems and dreaming is one of my most successful methods.
While we walked, I stopped in front of my new $16 find, a cement Blessed Virgin Mary statue. My mom had her arm around me and rested her head on my chest, just like a little girl.
Bowing my head in reverence, arm around my mom, I recited Mary's prayer; taught to me when I was a very small child.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
Blessed art thou, among woman
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,Pray for our sins, now and at the hour of our death...
"Thank you." My mom said as she bowed her head. We continued our walk.
I begged Mother Mary in my thoughts to help me and my mom. I told her that I am scared. I asked her for a sign.
|The Mary Statue Mystery|
... my sign
I got my sign. Mary hasn't abandoned my mom and me. I believe that relief will come for us soon.
"Thank you, Mary!"