Mom's been carrying my dad's driver's license around since passed. On Saturday when she believed that my brother-in-law was my dad, she said, "Here's your driver's license." She gave "my dad" his license back.
When Brad left to go to sleep, my mom said to my sister, “Where did he go?” She got so mad thinking that he was with all the guys (the ones she sees in her hallucinations) and then said something to my sister about “some bitch that she was going to punch in the face if she was with my dad.”
She believes that my dad has a new wife in Heaven. I’ve told her that we can only get married on Earth, that’s why we come to Earth, to live a happy life. Once we die, we can’t participate in Earth activities, we can only watch.
My sister learned the hard way what I’ve been trying to explain to her about our mom’s diet and mental state. My mom’s blood sugar must have been on the high side (too much gluten free) and when my “dad” went away on Saturday and then she realized Brad wasn’t my dad, she got upset, making her blood pressure go up. I feel bad that my mom cried and my sister had to experience her sadness. Seeing my mom cry shakes me to my core.
I’m beginning to wonder if the long trips up to Maine could be too much for her. The change seems to confuse her and she doesn't sleep well.
My mom also keeps talking about “the bus” which will take her to heaven. She wants to get on the bus and walks around trying to get in line with the other dead people. She’s really bummed that they won’t let her get in line, she wants to be with my dad very badly. She wants me to go with her, I told her there’s no way I’m going, not yet, I have more living to do.
In an effort to calm my mom down and try to control when dad is coming back, a question that I can't answer without causing myself trouble, I had an idea. A solution, make my dad an email address so that he could write her love letters from heaven.
I told my mom that Dream Master helped me to hook up a computer connection between heaven and earth so that my dad could write her notes through the computer. I sent her the first note yesterday when my sister called on their drive home from Maine to tell me that she “broke our mom.” I spoke with my mom, she was so sad, she started to cry when she was talking to me.
Here's the letter that I told my mom about and will let her read for herself this morning.
Dear Jo,So, we'll see if the Love Letters from Heaven works to keep my mom calm and her blood pressure from rising... both key in providing good days for her and me.
I love you and I always will. You are the ONLY one for me.
I'm sorry that I seem to ignore you at the party's that you have been attending, but it's not your time. I am waiting for you... I will be the first one you see at your big Welcome Home to Heaven party, when you are driven to Heaven in a Limo... that's when you'll really get to see me and be with me.
Not right now, OK? I am still crazy about you and love the feeling that you give me when you notice me, just like always.
Relax. Enjoy your good health and our kids, all of them love you.
Eddie is here with me, he loves hearing you play the piano. I do too, your music fills me with joy.
You should really eat more dark leafy vegetables, they will help you to feel stronger.
Be happy. Stay with God.
Love,
Your Ed
You can follow my new blog at http://lovelettersfromheaven.blogspot.com/
I'll use my dad's journals that he had written nearly 40 years ago, journals where he wrote about my mom and how much he loved her. He wrote about the days when he met her at the dance hall and knew that she was the one for him. He chased her and he caught her. Dad was always crazy about my mom. They married, had 5 kids and then he died when he was only 49 of Pancreatic Cancer... my mom just turned 50. My mom loves my dad. She misses him a lot. She wants to go to her big Welcome Home to Heaven party, she wants to be with my dad.
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Oh my goodness. This is the sweetest thing. You are such a blessing for your mom. So sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanks Maggie... I do hope this works.
ReplyDeleteUsually I can talk her off any mental ledge, but sometimes when it comes to answering the "when is daddy coming back?" question, I have no idea. Fingers crossed that this works, one never knows with the demented mind.
My mom believes that I have special powers. She thinks I don't try hard enough to see the people that she sees, like my brother and my dad; it makes her angry with me.
She believes that I can get on the bus to Heaven with her and still come back to Earth.
It is a creepy thought... heck, I want to go on my honeymoon, I need to live!
I think my mom is afraid to die by herself, why else would she keep asking me to go with her?
you really are a blessing to her....
ReplyDelete