The Sanity Line is Fuzzy... But She's Happy

My mom is in Maine and we have a couple of days off from Care Giving.  Personally, I enjoy the time away from my mom but I can't help thinking about her.  I wonder how she is and if she's having happy hallucinations about my dad. 

She was excited about going to Maine with my sister, last time she had gone a few weeks ago, she believed that my brother-in-law sleeping on the sofa was my dad.  She wanted my sister to call our Naturopath Doctor so that he could help him, after all, he'd been dead for over 30 years.

Logic is out the window when it comes to someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia.  Their hallucinations are so real that it's difficult for them to distinguish between dreams and reality.  No matter, the more illogical the explanation the more believable it is in the mind of the demented.  All we can do is help her to feel happy so that the hallucinations are pleasant.

Dream Master used to help.  Now my mom gets mad when I call to "bother him."  She tells me that she likes the visitors.  She doesn't like the name Dream Master so we changed it to Sunshine Maker.

In my mom's mind, my dad is "Heaven's Bus Driver."  He drives limos full of newly deceased souls up to heaven.  My mom, she wants to go on the bus with them because she wants to ask my dad to marry her again; she wants to be with him. 

Yesterday, when we were doing a bit of shopping to set her up with food for her little trip up to Maine, my mom told me all about a big party that she had attended.  She talked about this party as though I knew about it. 

"Susie, your dad, he was at the party.  I saw him and he saw me.  He is so good looking, just like when I first met him.  I was chasing him all around the party!"  My mom said to me with a little light in her eyes and a giggle in her voice.  My mom, she misses my dad and wants to be with him, even if she appears to be chasing him.  She is trying to be cool, making him chase her but he won't, he just watches her chase him.

"Do you want to come with me?"  She asked with a big smile on her face. 

"Where are you going?"  I had asked.

Matter of factly she said, "Oh, do you want to come to the party with me?  We can get on the bus.  Your dad will take us in a limo, I saw him driving a limo.  Do you want to come?"  My mom asked.

"No, I'm sorry Ma, I don't want to die.  Once you go you can't come back.  Once we die it's over, our bodies are gone so we can't enjoy the things that we enjoy on Earth.  I'm not ready to die, I just got married for God's sake... I haven't even had a honeymoon yet!  If you want to go you can go but you won't be able to come back."  I tried to explain.

I don't think she can distinguish the line between the living and the dead.  She sees my deceased brother and my father, she talks to them and now they are answering her.  Fortunately, her hallucinations are telling her that they can't eat Earth food. 

My mom is happy.  She talks to me about her visitors, they entertain her and motivate her to exercise; mom walks from window to window, looking and then out in the yard, walking around and looking over the fence to see the new souls waiting for the bus to heaven. 

My mom singing to her MP3 music... here she is humming along to "A Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz.

Music is important to my mom's happiness.  She listens to her MP3 player all the time, even when we go shopping.  She loves Jason Mraz and his song, "A Beautiful Mess."  Yesterday, walking around the supermarket, she was singing out loud and out of tune... it put a smile on my face and a laugh in my heart. 

My mom, she believes the guy on Family Feud talks to her and wants her to win.  She tries to win every day, hoping to win a car, she sits in front of the TV and tries to play.  I don't know what I'll tell her if she believes that she's won a car. 

The sanity line is fuzzy, but she's happy.