The Things We Say...

Caring for anyone with Lewy Bodies Dementia takes creativity and the ability to think fast on our feet.  Often we need to make quick decisions about how to handle a situtation when Lewy decides to visit.  We all learn quickly what not to do and we begin to use our minds more effectively.  We have to, it's the only way to manifest a peaceful atmosphere.  What I've observed is that LBD folks require calm environments that are peaceful.

However, there are times when we are so darn tired as Care Givers that we just can't think fast enough and we say things that we absolutely regret later.  The mind of the demented hears everything, but they don't hear it with logic, they hear the words and their minds create scenarios which go rogue with time and negative energy.

We are left wondering a lot of the time what we can do to make our loved one more comfortable and "normal."  I know for me my goal is to help my mom to be normal, whatever normal is... I suppose to me it means not chasing hallucinations.  I've decided it's not normal to chase imaginary things and people... hallucinations, but I do it for the sake of peace.

What we say, the things we say, is so important.  Care Giver's have stories that we tell our patient to calm them, what are some of your stories? 

I'll leave you with a couple.  One I made up myself and the other I read online the other day and used it on my mom ... both work.

My mom always wants me to feed my dead relatives when they visit her.  I talk to the dead relatives as though they're in the room; it makes my mom happy when I talk to her hallucinations. 

They Eat Special Angel Food

When she wants me to feed her hallucinations dinner, I tell her "Oh Ma, you know they need special angel food to help them to fly and do all their good work.  They like coming and spending time watching you eat, they love it when you eat all of your food because it keeps you healthy."

 Dream Master... Just talked to him

I can't claim credit for this great story, but it works.  I found it on the internet and I don't know where I found it ... whoever came up with this idea, thank you.

The original person who used the Dream Master concept was brilliant.  Her husband was hallucinating one night and got out of bed.  His wife said to him, "Why are you up?"  The husband said, "I can't sleep in that bed, there's a man in that bed and I'm not gay!"

The wife went into the room and picked up the phone and pretend called "The Dream Master."  How I remember the story...

Wife:  "Hi Dream Master?  (brief pause like she's listening.)  Yes, I'm calling to cancel all of Henry's nightmares.  (pause.)  (excited voice) "OH, YOU CAN!  Well that is great.  Super.  Thank you Dream Master, I'll tell him." 

The husband went back to sleep, the hallucination of the man in bed went away.

Last night, I used the Dream Master concept on my mom when she began to wake up at 12 and again at 2am.  I told her that I called the Dream Master and cancelled all of her nightmares from now on, only happy dreams.  My mom, upon hearing the news said, "Oh Good... now I can get some sleep."

She slept until 7am.  I woke her this morning when I tip toed into her room to check that she is still breathing... something I've been doing since I was a little girl.  Old habits die hard.

So... what are your stories?  What do you tell your loved one when they are off on a tail spin into the mental abyss of floating heads and scary creatures?