Good Days Begin With Me, the Care Giver

Our good night and day stretch has come to an end; I am to blame. 

It was a long stretch of good nights and days, which I'm grateful.  It has been easier to be my mom's care giver, she's not as nuts since she began taking  an additional 100mg of R-Lopoic Acid.  She doesn't hallucinate, not like she had been. 

Diet, Supplements, exercise and a peaceful environment appear to be the key to our good days.

I think my mom's trouble with hallucinations has been her cataract in her eye, she can't see very well and when she sees stones or some other inanimate object outside, her mind makes it into something like wild horses or an elephant.  She still doesn't want to have the cataract removed, so I won't force her.  I think she enjoys the visions.

Most of the trouble that we had yesterday was created by my reaction to being woken up when I felt as though I had finally fallen asleep.  My hands were numb with pain, too much computer work in a non-ergonomic desk set up, the pain has been keeping me awake at night.  The kittens have finally discovered the outside and at 4am they decided it was time for me to wake up and open the cat window.  I banished the kittens from my room. 

My mom forgot about the squeaky floor and walked across the squeaky floor boards above my bed with her heavy shoes on her feet.  It's a sound that is the most disturbing of all sounds, even more shattering than barking dogs.  It woke me.  I was not in a good mood.

6:30am and my mom was ready to go somewhere.  "I don't have a car!" She exclaimed as I came up the stairs in a foul mood. 

"Ma, where are you going?" I said in a tone that was rather sharp.  The beginning of the end of our good day stretch.  I was not in the mood to chase her around the neighborhood on such a cold morning.

Our morning spiraled downward and fast.  10 days of my mom with no time off had me in a bad place, I needed to get away from the insanity of my mom's demented mind.  All that I had learned about my attitude affecting my mom was out the window.  My hands hurt.  I couldn't do anything but sit still.  Preparing food hurt.  I had no patience. 

Fortunately, my sister took my mom for the day.  I drover her to her house and left her off.  My mom, she was mad.  She told me that she wasn't coming back.  She told me that she was glad that I would have a bad day.

My day off was OK, it wasn't great.  It's my own fault.  All I needed to do was keep my mouth shut for 2 hours.  But, I didn't.  I'm not perfect.

The day ended well, after lots of craziness and a 3 Mai Tai lunch followed by a 2 hour nap.  My mom came home.  She realizes that she either lives here or moves to a nursing home.  I made her favorite, oven fried chicken, asparagus and peas with carrots.  She had a little soy ice cream and even did a little dance while I scooped it into a dish for her.   My mom, she was happy to be home.  She had a great day with my sister and slept all through the night. 

She woke up this morning and had a little breakfast with her supplements.  She was still tired so she went back to lay down.  When she wakes, we'll go out and restock our cat food and get a few groceries to get us through the next 3 days of heavy rain that will surely flood the roads between here and the stores.

Today... it's a great day and the beginning of a new stretch of good days.  What I've learned with Lewy Bodies Dementia, it's not just about taking a bunch of supplements or pills and eating the right foods, good days for Lewy Bodies patients also need Care Givers who are rested.  When the Care Giver is worn out, it's way harder to control emotions.  I've learned more than ever that the state of my mom's mental condition, it begins with me, the Care Giver.

I'm grateful for my sister Donna and all the time she gives me.  I love my sister for her gift of herself to my mom and me.  Donna is my lifeline to sanity, Thanks Don... you help in ways that I can't explain in words.