Better When We Are Together

My reunion with Maryann today was like a scene out of a really sappy movie.

A movie where the plot continues to thicken, chaos everywhere, building over the years like a cancer.

A tension that is felt between us, one so volatile that there didn't seem like there would ever be a chance in hell for peace to prevail.

If you told me a week ago that today would happen, I would have asked you what you have been drinking and or smoking?

Today however, we had our twist in our family movie... Maryann and I had our movie scene, the one that would make any grown man cry.

Family... God do we need them, every single individual is important in a family.  I have learned that each person, blood relative or not, if they are part of your family, they are valuable.

Petty arguments are stupid.  I mean, really idiotic.  It's usually about something said, something that wasn't meant to destroy a person, just sting them a little.  We always hurt the ones we love the most.  It's just how it is.

The blessing to witness is when family can find it in them to forgive, move on and continue to love.  All families have it in them to put their egos aside and feel the love, the original love, family love.  Once you feel it, all the fighting seems senseless... probably because it is!

Fighting is dumb.  It robs families of love, the one place where love should always rule.   My dad and Uncle Al, they totally understood that fighting was not very good within families; they realized how fighting destroys us and our dreams.

Uncle Al, during the entire time that Maryann and I were fighting over him... he never gave up trying to get Maryann and me to patch things up.  When my husband would ask Uncle Al, "What do you want?"  He'd always tell us, "I want Maryann and Susie to be friends again, I want to see them together."

Uncle Al said this to me so much that I couldn't argue with him.  I tried my hardest to connect with my cousin.  I was sorry for hurting her and I wanted to help her.  I was ignored.  I got angry.  Very angry.  The silence made me believe that I was right about all of my assumptions and I got even more angry.

The nursing home where Uncle Al was living, they were nasty.  It is apparent now that they were fueling the family feud.

Uncle Al never gave up hope.  He prayed and prayed.

I gave up.

My mother's mental state declined and I couldn't see Uncle Al anymore.  I had very little time off and any time I did have to myself, I used it for myself.  I needed ME time; rarely did I get time off, it felt like I was in prison.  Guilt did eat at me; I felt guilty for abandoning Uncle Al... AGAIN!

My mom's been hallucinating about Uncle Al.  She has been asking me where her brother went for months now.  She sees him, has full conversations with him and then he's gone.  My mother has gotten angry with me because I told her Al was in Danvers, in his nursing home... "NO HE IS NOT!" She would insist.  Little did I know, she was right.

How was I going to manage to get to see Uncle Al with my mom?  A true dilemma.  I didn't know how to solve this problem, so I prayed to my buddy the BVM (Blessed Virgin Mary) one day and gave her the trouble.  I believed the question would be answered... somehow.  I forgot about it.

Out of nowhere a few days ago, Maryann contacted me.  We talked.  We emailed.  It was awesome to hear her voice, to talk to her and to talk to her little girl on the phone.  So darn cute!

Today we granted Uncle Al his greatest wish, to see us together again as friends.  We visited him in a new nursing home.  A beautiful place with kind staff.  The place is bright and sunny, lots of windows for the patients to look outside at the feathered visitors to their bird feeders.

Today was the scene in our family's movie where everyone says... "Wow!  Didn't see that coming."

The sound track for this scene in our movie is Jack Johnson's, "Better When We Are Together", my mom's new favorite song.

A Family Visit

Brian giving Jay a hug

Sunday was a great day; Brian and I had a date!

Ma went to Marty's so that she could visit with him, Patricia and our Aunt Jay.  Jay now lives with my brother and sister-in-law, Patricia.  My mom LOVES Patricia and she's always thought the world of my little brother.

There was dancing going on during my mom's visit, all triggered by a Polish Polka show.  Jay loves to Polka so she had Patricia dance with her.  The video is awesome... too bad it is locked in the vault.

Jay was happy having my mom visit with her; she missed my mom a lot.  Jay and my mom had been best friends since the day that they had become Sister-in-laws.  Jay has always loved my mom.  I arrived to pick up my mom a little earlier than I had planned; it was a  warm day.  My brother doesn't use Air Conditioning and even a little overheating can send us down a path of confusion with my mom.

Fortunately, she had a lot of fun visiting family.  I heard about my mom jumping up to dance and then spinning around, falling face first into the sofa.  Everyone laughed as they told the story how my mom didn't miss a beat, she got right up and danced.

My mom danced what I think my Aunt referred to as the "Chelsea Hop" or some dance with HOP in it.  Jay couldn't believe how well my mom danced.  "She danced like a professional!"  Jay exclaimed in her little voice.  I do wish I had video of Jay and Ma dancing.

Ma was a little worn out looking when we walked through the door to the patio.  She even looked at Marty as though it was the first time she had seen him, although she sat next to him all day on the sofa.  Confusion was setting in.

The drive home, she sang songs all the way home, singing along to the radio.  We pulled in to the driveway and she exclaimed, "OH NO!  This isn't where we are supposed to be."   For reasons unknown, she doesn't recognize this house as where she lives, she thinks she lives in a house in Saugus or East Lynn; homes from her long distant past.

My mom had dinner and put her nightgown on with out any help and put herself in bed at 7:30, she was exhausted.  It was a long day for her; she had a great time with family.