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| Shopping with Ma at Whole Foods October 28, 2011 |
Mom's got kidney disease, she's had it for years because she didn't manage her blood sugar and blood pressure. I know I'm not a doctor, but I think Mom's kidneys are beginning to fail. I checked the symptoms of Renal Failure ; Mom's got several symptoms. Will she fall into a coma like my friend Aggie who died of kidney failure?
I like to believe that I'm ready for Mom to die, but am I? It's inevitable, mom will die... I have to be ready!
Seeing her leaning to the right, hanging over the side of her chair, fixated on hallucinations she sees on the floor, not able to communicate; her end appears to be closer than ever.
Mom's latest decline, happened in a blink of an eye. Like a shot, similar to when Lewy first arrived into our lives nearly four years ago, mom's condition has changed dramatically.
Two weeks ago, she was walking, talking, laughing and enjoying her babies. Truly precious moments that warmed my heart.
We made the best of the life we had to live with Lewy,what other option did we have? The struggles and challenges were numerous, but the laughter and joy we were able to create, helped get us through the tough days.
The waiting is the hardest part of this journey with my mom and Lewy. Waiting for the end and watching, I find myself praying for a peaceful end for Mom.
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Trying to prepare for the inevitable is a laudable endeavor. Unfortunately, no matter how prepared we think we are, when that day comes, we still feel like we aren't ready. In fact, I don't think we can ever be completely ready for the loss of our parents. We may be relieved that their struggle is over, we may even be grateful for end of waiting, but when they are gone, we miss them each and every day. But that is the way it is supposed to be!
ReplyDeleteCourage, my friend!
Thank you Mel... I am grateful for all the good memories with my mom, they are like a big hug.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know what you are going thru. My mom/ samething. You are doing everything right. I feel like you are writing about my life. Thank you for sharing and I'm praying for you and your Mother.
ReplyDeleteTracy