Dear Nursing Home Care Workers Everywhere,

Ma and her cat, Savita
June 2011

I am tired.  I am sick hearing you complain, day in and day out.  Whining, bitching, spewing your crap all over the innocent residents of the home where you are working is wrong.  Through your venting, you are bathing demented residents in your vile energy.  No wonder they are all agitated and upset most of the time when you are working in their home.

How would you feel if someone like you came into YOUR home and bitched nonstop about things out of your control?  Would you tolerate people filling your house with negativity?  Why do you do it in my mom's home?

Why do you walk down the halls after all the residents are in bed and talk as though it's 2 in the afternoon?  Really?  No wonder my mom isn't sleeping very well when you are on duty.

Your speaking in your foreign language, hollering down the hall for one of your friends, laughing and joking, is extremely disrespectful; it wakes my mom, it scares her and makes her hallucinate about something that she can not verbalize.  Mom lost her ability to communicate, she can't tell you to shut the hell up anymore.  So, I am telling you... 'SHUT THE HELL UP!'

Please help me to understand why my mom will struggle in her seat, doing the pee-pee or poo-poo dance in her seat, while you ignore her because "she's not your responsibility" or "it's not your job."  Where's the team work?  Where's your respect for each other?  No wonder your work environment is like a living hell on Earth, you are part of the problem.

Look in the mirror, please, see your face and be honest with yourself.  What are you doing to contribute to your own misery?  Why aren't you taking responsibility for your own actions?  Why are you trying to convince yourself that it isn't you, it's THEM?  Why are you listening to the bullshit of others?  Their negativity is contagious, it's easy to get sucked in.  I have a question for you, "how is this benefiting you?"

Does complaining make you feel better?  Maybe while you're talking but when you are on the listening end, it makes you feel worse.  Negative talk spreads like a cancer.  Misery loves company; a phrase that holds volumes of truth.

Why are you wasting a crap load of valuable time bitching.  Time that you could use more effectively helping the residents that you were hired to assist with their daily living.

Why do you disrespect yourself and fall into the complaining pit?

Take control.  Refuse to listen to the complaining.  Hold up your hand and say, "Thanks but no thanks, if you don't have something positive to say, shut the hell up."  Ask the complaining people what they can do to change the situation?  If they can't do anything, they have no reason to bitch.  If you are going to bitch, have a solution and take action to make a change.

Change begins with each of us.  We all have free will, no one can make us do anything, not even listen to their complaints.  It's not hard to change, you just have to make the decision and do it.  First, chose to stop listening to the gossiper, they really have nothing to say.  I doubt their words are based on facts.

So... how do you change?  Begin by changing what you say, it's not hard.

Start everyday expecting greatness.  Jump out of bed and say out loud with enthusiasm, "TODAY WILL BE A GREAT DAY!"  Expect a great day and it will find you.

Please stop and think.  Use your mind, the power to change is within you.   Lots of moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends depend on you every day, please don't let them down because you are choosing to walk with a rain cloud over your head.

Thank you in advance.

A concerned Care Giver.