Ma with Grover, the Cookie Monster
We live in a "me first" society, caring for family seems to be classified as having a touch of insanity; what's in it for me? A question that fills the lines of so many faces for the world to read.
What happened to the Old World family values, the real family love that I witnessed growing up with my Polish Grandmother and Aunt?
Family love is now an ideal... when did this happen? How did it happen? Why did we all let it happen?
Cope outs. The easy way out. Convincing one's self this or that, forming a belief to ease the pain of loss. There is no easy way out of this life. We all live. We all die. It's what we do in between the biggest events of our life that matters. People matter. Stuff doesn't. Money doesn't. In the end, all we have is each other.
Mom, she won't be a living and breathing person forever, her days are numbered. I choose to enjoy Mom, even though she can barely string more than 3 coherent words together. Sometimes she recognizes me ... sort of; at any given time I am any one of her 3 daughters. Hallucinations about her absent family brings her peace. "Marty, Joey and Andy came to see me" Mom exclaims with joy. "Eddie, he moved in with me!" She adds about my dead brother who she believes is alive and well.
Mom knows her family's energy and it calms her, even if the only in the flesh visitors she gets regularly are my sister and me.
Mom, she will live forever in my heart. I have few regrets. I am grateful for all the memories that I shared with her, memories that will comfort me for years to come. I gave Care Giving my all and I am left in an intense daze.