tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1879192449061145204.post5391671692385697176..comments2024-01-05T01:05:21.841-05:00Comments on Back Door Logic: Three Old LadiesSusan Higginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019940790074997076noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1879192449061145204.post-63819677983839861162010-06-19T06:04:04.419-04:002010-06-19T06:04:04.419-04:00Mellodee, I KNOW I need help - it's easier sai...Mellodee, I KNOW I need help - it's easier said than done. We are working on it. <br /><br />As for judging people, even my family, I don't have a right to judge anyone. Everyone has their own way of dealing with tragedy.<br /><br />For the first year that my mom had begun to show symptoms of dementia, I had asked for help. I got advice, just like here in your comment. Dementia is scary and when it happens to a parent, people are even more frightened to step up. <br /><br />Everyone needs to face Alzheimer's in their own way. All I can do is hope that they come to terms with the illness before it's too late and they have years of regrets.<br /><br />Care Giver's do not need advice. When we ask for help, we know that we need; we need physical help.<br /><br />I get the whole thing about my mom not being my mom. Again, easier said than done; when one is burned out it's easy to cry. I know that I can't do this alone. <br /><br />Thank you for your advice.Susan Higginshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07019940790074997076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1879192449061145204.post-58110169290861596702010-06-18T22:07:00.422-04:002010-06-18T22:07:00.422-04:00Susan, you must get some help. You cannot do it a...Susan, you must get some help. You cannot do it all the time with no break. If there are no actual respite care centers in your area, try hiring someone. What about your church, is there any kind of program or any church ladies that would be willing to help? I know your husband is supportive, but can you ask him for more of his help? But most of all, you must try very hard not to let your mom make you cry! She does not have control over what is happening to her. And she most definitely never would purposely hurt you if she were healthy. It is your mom's illness talking NOT your mom!<br /><br />And lastly, the rest of your family are amazingly aloof! She is their mom too, they have a responsibility to assist your mom.<br /><br />If you are going to keep your own sanity and your own health, you must accept that sometimes, despite your very best efforts, things are not going to improve, but that is not your fault. No matter how you slice it, this is not a good situation and you cannot do it alone. Is it time to consider another alternative?Mellodeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07515414035373189099noreply@blogger.com